How to Live a Beautiful Life

January 11, 2016 Pamela Stephens

I’ve dabbled with the idea of a beautiful life here on the blog before, yet I’ve never quite perfected that speech. I’ve talked about the quest to get there and shared little windows into my own idea of a beautiful life, yet I haven’t event finished the dialogue in my own mind, much less developed words eloquent enough to share. Today, I want to finally talk about what a beautiful life means and how to get there.

First, let’s talk about why this is important. Why does it matter if you have a “beautiful” life or not? And isn’t life just ugly sometimes? How can we avoid that? At first glance, it seems like this concept is something from a self-help book that isn’t even attainable for the average person. Wrong. This concept is something I’ve stewed over for several years. It was born from the idea that I wanted to truly love my life and be thrilled about both the possessions and people that surround me. I had this dream of waking up in a lovely space, putting on clothes that I loved, and using various items throughout the day that made me happy. In this dream, I’d sip from an inspiring, beautiful coffee mug while covered in the coziest blanket and sit somewhere in a beautifully decorated home where every corner was filled only with items that bring me joy. There was no clutter or items or colors that I hate. At first, this was just a dream. At first, it seemed like an impossible feat to get there. Then, I realized that I simply had to start somewhere. If I started replacing a few mediocre items here and there with beautiful things, I’d eventually only have things that I loved. If I started thinning my possessions a bit at a time, I’d eventually reduce clutter and be able to have a beautifully decorated home without excess piling up here and there. I finally realized that like any other dream, you just start somewhere and if you work hard at it, it can eventually be a reality. I’m a couple of years in to the process of making my daily life look just like this dream and here’s how I’m doing it:

You must decide what a beautiful life looks like for you. For me, it was getting rid of clutter and replacing things that were “good enough” with things that were beautiful and pleasing. Your beautiful might look completely different than mine. To determine what your beautiful life looks like, simply think about your most perfect day. If today was an ideal, amazing day for you, what would it look like? What are you doing? What are you wearing? What’s the room look like? Make a list of the items that stand out. These colors, textures, and items could be the making of your own beautiful world.
Determine the key elements that you’re missing from your ideal world. In your vision, you might have noticed lots of natural light. You might have been curled up in a cozy corner, reading your favorite book. If you identify that you’re missing natural light, a short term solution could be to change out darker, light-blocking drapes to something more airy. A long term solution could be to eventually install larger windows or make a plan and work towards a new home with more windows (and I can help with that!). If you dreamed of a reading area, you could simply create a cozy nook somewhere in your home. That could be as simple as getting rid of a piece of furniture you don’t really need and bringing in a comfortable chair, lamp, and table. Don’t make this process too complicated. Just do something…anything…that makes you feel more relaxed and excited about your world.
Realize the magnitude of the project. The next step is to realize that you won’t transform your entire life in one Saturday afternoon. It most likely won’t happen in a matter of weeks or months. I’ve been working towards my ideal life for a couple of years now, and while it’s a thousand times better than what it was when I started, I’m not “finished.” This step of the process is important because you must come to terms with the fact that this could, and most likely will be, a life long task. You may not ever “finish.” The goal here isn’t to complete it and mark it off the list. Instead, the goal is to continually grow and make your world a better representation of your dreams. It’s a daily task of a life-long process.
Start somewhere. Now that you understand that you might not “finish,” just start somewhere. For me, it could have been completely overwhelming to realize that I couldn’t transform everything right away. Just considering the sheer magnitude of change needed to get from my current situation to my ideal one, was incredibly daunting. As a matter of fact, it was enough to make me give up. However, I knew how important it was to me to cultivate my ideal world. I knew that I wanted my daily life to look amazing…not to just dream of it. I wanted to feel comfortable and cozy in my home, and I knew that I had a lot of work to do to get there. Step number four is possibly the most important of them all. You must simply do something. It’s easy to think and dream and plan and then do nothing. Starting is often the hardest part. The key to making your dream life a reality is to realize that you can’t do it all today and then to start somewhere.

My journey began with two of the simplest tasks. First, I emptied my cabinet of those promotional coffee mugs that meant nothing to me, and replaced them with a couple of pretty ones that I loved. Second, I bought lovely smelling hand soap and tossed the old, nasty ones out. These two tasks were the simplest possible and what I could control in that very moment. Both of these happened when we were still in our rent house where I hated the wall color and lack of light. I couldn’t control those two things right then though, so I found a few things that I could control. For less than $10 and in less than 10 minutes, I evoked a change that’s been continual and ongoing. And because I started somewhere, my life today looks much, much better than it did on that day when I first began dreaming of options. You simply cannot change everything today and there’s likely a few of the elements that are simply not an option to alter today. However, something can be done right now. What is that thing? Go do it.

When I think back on the time when this concept was born, I remember my thoughts feeling much more cluttered then. I remember things feeling darker and more overwhelming. I can easily attribute some of those negative emotions to my surroundings. My home wasn’t a relaxing environment for me and I didn’t feel comfortable there. When I finally made the decision to start changing things, I felt a difference almost immediately. I felt like I had control again and I knew that by repeatedly making little changes, I would eventually notice a big chance. So today, I share pretty pictures of cozy blankets on Instagram (see above) and it almost looks like those staged photos all of the bloggers and instagrammers share. For me though, it’s about so much more than that. For me, those photos are about creating a life that looks like magazine worthy photos. Don’t get me wrong – I get behind on laundry and dishes just like everyone else. However, with each Instagram snap, I’m internally celebrating how far I’ve come. I’m celebrating that I’ve replaced that tattered old fleece throw with a beautiful fur one that makes me happy. I’m celebrating that I’ve created a cozy space to enjoy my coffee rather that sitting in a cluttered room or gulping it down on the go. For me, it’s not about creating an image online. Instead, it’s about celebrating the years of work that I’ve already done in building my own beautiful life and encouraging myself to keep going. Eventually, I hope to have thinned closets and drawers that are easy to open and close. I hope to have a place for everything so that nothing ever needs to gather on tables or countertops. Eventually, all of my days will be structured so that I always have down time to rest, relax, and recuperate. I’ll only drink from pretty coffee cups and all the the cabinets will be filled with pretty, inspiring things. I’m not there yet, and I’m working every day…a little bit at a time….to eventually get as close as possible to living that dream. And it all started with a coffee mug and some hand soap. Today, you can choose to start somewhere. Or you can choose to not begin at all. As with everything else, your life is a result of your decisions. What’s your choice today?

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Turning 30

January 7, 2016 Pamela Stephens

I’ve been excitedly looking forward to my 30^th birthday for months and months. Back in the fall, I shared a bit of a synopsis of all of the many things I experienced in my twenties. These past few weeks have been full of posts about goals and intentions for the year, so sharing a list of intentions for my thirties seems a little excessive. However, I’ve been so excited about this birthday, that I just had to think it through.

When I attempted to nail down where this excitement comes from, I couldn’t come up with a ton of reasons. In a nutshell, I feel like turning 30 gives me some legitimacy. I’ve always been “wise beyond my years” and always felt a good 5-10 years older than I actually was. As a teenager, I was always referred to as “mature.” (We can talk about reasons for that another day.) In my twenties, I sometimes felt like people didn’t take me seriously enough. As I approached my late twenties, I felt too old to relate to the younger folks and too young to relate to those older than me. Thirty felt like a perfect middle ground.

As I thought about what I expected my thirties to bring, I became so very excited. Without firm reasoning, it feels like this will be my decade. Thirty will be my year. With just two days left before I officially turn the big 3-0, I thought I’d share a bit about what I’m expecting of the next several years.

I think this is when I’ll come into my own. I’ve grown so much in the last 10 years that It’s hard to explain the ways. I’ve learned so much about myself and I see the opportunity to take that knowledge and learn even more because of it. I feel like my thirties are when I’ll develop most into who I’m meant to me. I also expect to finally have the courage to just be that person.
I think I’ll develop a routine in business. In addition to learning a lot about myself, I’ve learned a lot about business. I see 1,000 opportunities on the horizon and I feel like I’ll get to realize a lot of those in the next few years. I look forward to taking risks in business and developing a long term routine for my work environment…one that supports my goals and ambitions.
I think I’ll move. Whether Matthew and I stay here or move to a faraway land, I expect that we’ll make a move in the next several years. In my dreams, I have a pretty clear vision of what the next house will look/feel like, and I can’t wait! One of my most prevalent life goals in to create a home that we’re always thrilled to come home to, serves as a welcoming ground for all of our friends and family, and gives us the space to relax and try new, creative things.
I think I’ll develop my creative side. I’ve been dodging my creativity for a lack of time for years now. I hope that my thirties are spent testing my creative boundaries and trying many, many new things.
I think I’ll spend a lot of time nurturing relationships. I hope to spend a lot of time with the people I love over the next several years. Experiences and quality relationships mean so much to me.
I think I’ll see the world. Matthew and I have really upped our travel game this past year and have even more plans for 2016. I expect that the next decade will bring with it experiences from around the world, and I simply can’t wait for that.
I think I’ll go after several someday goals. I’m in the process of actually writing down what these someday goals are. I have all of these things tucked away in my mind that I hope to do…someday. I expect that I’ll go after several of those in my thirties.

If I had to sum it all up, I’d say that my main intention for my thirties is to truly become who I want to be and to mold my life into the peaceful landscape that I can imagine. I can so clearly see what I want my daily life to look like, and I hope to spend the next decade making that dream a reality. I’m sure there will be hundreds of additional hopes and dreams that weave their way into reality over the next ten years. Some of them I might not even be able to imagine yet. Regardless, I know that when I sit down to write something similar about turning forty, I’ll have so much to consider! I hope that the words flow out abundantly over what I’ve seen, done, and realized. I intend to spend the next ten years being sure that I can write that piece with excitement.

On the surface, it seems like my 30^th birthday will be just another day. After all, how much of a difference can one hour on a clock make? I don’t expect to turn into a magical creature when the clock strikes midnight (or maybe I will…we’ll see!). Instead, I just use this birthday as a jumping off point for a new chapter…much like we do for the new year. It’s as if you finish one paragraph strongly (my twenties) and it lends itself to new adventures to explore as you turn the page to something equally as fascinating (my thirties). It’s not about the actual date or the time. It’s about the mindset. And today, as I sit here preparing for the day to come, I feel excited and encouraged that this will be my year.

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One Little Word – 2016

January 4, 2016 Pamela Stephens

The concept of setting a guiding word for the year isn’t new. Several inspirational and successful people that I follow use this technique every year. I thought long and hard about it last year and really wanted to commit. It just seemed nearly impossible for me. I really work best on more of a short term schedule. I talked a bit about struggling with the idea and attempted to set monthly words instead of yearly in 2014.

As 2016 rolled in, I thought about it again. I saw everyone else choosing words and having custom jewelry made and I wanted to do that too. Honestly, I just couldn’t quite understand why a goal-setting fanatic like myself couldn’t pick a silly word. Again, I do better with just a few options…not the entire English language. Then it dawned on me, I have sort of chosen a word without realizing it. If you read my ramble about looking ahead to 2016, you may have picked up on one line that really stood out to me.

I’m going to be courageous.

I touched on the topic of courage earlier in 2015, and as 2016 approached, I began preparing myself to exhibit the most courage yet. I knew that the new year was going to bring with it a lot of big changes, big decisions, and hopefully, big rewards. I knew that to be successful in any of the endeavors I was approaching, I’d have to have courage. In addition to needing the courage to make big, bold moves in business, I also began really wanting to be more courageous within my personal life. On New Years Day, I starting thinking about the desire I’ve had recently to be unapologetic about showing my true self. I started to regret not having factored that into my goals for the year. (Leave it to me to have some regret over yearly goals on the first day of the year!) Then it hit me….I just needed to focus on having courage. I already have the doodle from this post as my screensaver on my phone. I’ve already been wanting to be more courageous. I need to really focus on that this year.

Here are a few of the ways in which I’ll be practicing having courage in 2016:

I’m going to be doing big things with my business. At the start of 2016, I will have two full time, health-insured individuals on my team…plus myself. I am committing to bringing in enough money to support myself and two additional people. That’s so frightening. I’ve weighed the pros and the cons, the risks and the rewards, until there can’t be anything else to consider. The next step is having the courage to jump.
I want to be more vulnerable. One of my most well-developed skills is the ability to protect myself. I’m almost like a ninja of my own defenses. I can throw a guard up like a professional and I do so often. This usually means that I give off a different perception of myself than what’s really real. I’ve used this tactic as a defense mechanism for many, many years and I feel that it’s going to be a tough habit to break. Rather than putting up such a tough and unwavering front, I’d like to show my sensitive and vulnerable side a bit more. I’ve realized that this protection mechanism is there. The next step is having the courage to let my guard down.
I want to worry less about what other people think. I do and say things often keep other people happy or to not offend anyone. I heavily monitor my public image. I act and behave a certain way in mixed company and it’s usually only my closest friends that get to see me in my true form. I am very careful of what’s posted on social media. You won’t see rants about politics (and probably still won’t) or a photo of me having a glass of wine. I’ve always monitored these things very closely for the fear of what other people would say or think. At 30, I’m really ready to move past that. I will undoubtedly always care what people think. However, I want to feel more comfortable with who I’ve decided to be and more importantly, with the fact that some people may just not like it or agree. I’ve decided that I want this freedom. The next step is having the courage to actually let loose.

In thinking through these things, it seems as if I have unintentionally set a “one little word” for the year – courageous. Without realizing it, I identified an area or concept that I really felt I needed to work on. I can’t promise that I’ll stick with it, or even that courage will prevail when the opportunity arises. However, I am willing to admit that I need to work on it. And for now, I’m committing to focusing on this powerful word for the year. Hopefully, by the time we wrap up 2016, I’ll have realized the magnitude of my own courage, much like the lion in the Wizard of Oz. I suppose I’m starting down my own yellow brick road this year. The journey will likely be as important as the arrival, and I hope to become a better, more courageous lion by year end.

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2016 Goals

December 31, 2015 Pamela Stephens

It’s goal-setting time!! I almost treat setting my yearly goals as its own holiday. I look forward to it. Prepare for it. And set aside special time for it. I can remember my first time setting real yearly goals and I distinctly remember feeling a bit of an aversion to it. Now that I’ve set multiple yearly goals and thousands of monthly ones, I feel like a pro. As a matter of fact, I even learned a valuable lesson last year. I set my 2015 goals without realizing how ambitious I was. I’m known for thinking I can do more than humanly possible in a day, so I definitely have to monitor my ambition when I plan for the year. After struggling to track and accomplish all of my many goals, I adjusted down to just one goal in April. I realized that I needed to pare down if I were going to really accomplish anything, and I felt relieved afterwards.

This year, I am setting more than one personal goal for the year. However, most of these are smaller, more easily attainable goals. They are things that I’m choosing to focus on throughout the year and that I’ll continue to work on as the time passes. I did my best to be more realistic and more conscientious of how quickly time passes. I didn’t set these big, lofty goals that could easily take a major lifestyle change to accomplish. Instead, I chose a few various areas to focus on. It’s almost like this list is more like intentions than goals. Yes, these are measurable and achievable. Ideally, I’ll be able to “mark them off” at the end of the year. However, my mindset is more about choosing to focus on these areas of my life rather than others this year. That enough talking about goal setting? Let’s dive in:

1. Reserve more personal time. I just talked about the goals being measurable and as it’s written, this one is a bit too vague. I still need to determine a metric in which I’ll be able to track this, so if you have ideas, please share! As I mentioned intentions, my intention this year is to place a lot of emphasis on my time. When things get busy or responsibilities grow, my time is the first to go. I need to train myself not to forfeit that time.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: resting before I crash and burn, spending more time at home…even if that means working from home more, more days off (For me, it’s not a day off if I have to wash my hair or put on makeup.), regular massages, and reserving time for creative activities. Sounds easy. I already know that I’ll struggle here.

2. 12,000-15,000 steps a day at least 4 times a week. I recently got a Fitbit and I have high hopes for it helping me change my activity level. My original goal was to hit 10k steps a day and then I realized that I was already doing that most days. If I wanted to notice a difference physically, I’d have to do more than I was already doing. So, my intention is to hit between the 12-15k mark, at least 4 days a week.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: exercise of some sort, continuing to play tennis, and walks around the neighborhood.

3. Easily accessible closets/cabinets/drawers. I’m getting serious about clutter. I’ve made so much progress in the past couple of years, and I’d like to keep going. I’ve transformed the way I purchase and keep things, and I’ve gotten rid of so much extra. However, there are still closets and cabinets that aren’t as easily accessible as I’d like. I want everything to be super easy to retrieve and put away. These last few areas are what’s left to achieve that feeling.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: continuing to purge and organize. There are 5 closets that need a good bit of attention, 1 closet that needs to be finished, 3 dressers that need thinning, and the kitchen cabinets could use some love. These will be my priority over the next year.

4. Read 8 books. I’ve done much better at reading lately and several books are going to be a part of my growth plan for the year. I think focusing on goal #1 might help me with this goal too. I often forfeit time to read in order to accomplish other tasks, even though I’m starkly aware of its importance.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: making somewhat of a lifestyle change and slowing down. I’m going to attempt reading a bit with my morning coffee instead of surfing Instagram. Books already on my list include: finishing Rising Strong, Big Magic, Think and Grow Rich, and The Miracle Morning.

5. Learn a new skill. This really could fall into goal #1 as well. There are many things that I want to try or learn, and I often give up that time so easily. This year, I intend to try at least one new thing.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: by focusing on goal #1. I already have plans to learn to crochet and snow ski. I also purchased a sewing class last summer that I haven’t been through yet. I want to do all of the above!

6. Host people at our home at least once a month. I read this article about how much time we have left with our loved ones, and it shocked me into reality. I often let the days pass without realizing how much time we use up without spending time with friends/family. This year, I want to invite people over often. The second reason for this intention is to help keep my house tidy! I notice that things stay much cleaner around here when I’m expecting visitors. It’s a win-win.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: planning ahead with friends, practicing new recipes to share, and working to make our backyard a more pleasing and functional space.

7. Introduce one new someday goal. I have a rather lengthy list of things I’d like to accomplish someday. If I were being honest, I’d like to do them all right this second. I actually loathe the idea of waiting until some undetermined time. Nonetheless, reality says that I can’t do all of these things right now. This year, I intend to launch/make progress/develop one someday goal.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: making a list of these someday goals and watching for opportunities. This year I might develop an ecourse, start writing business posts, introduce public speaking to my repertoire, or any of my other big ideas.

8. Keep my plants alive. You probably snickered at that one. It seems a bit silly, although it might be the hardest task on the list for me. I do not have a green thumb. If I needed to reason with the plants to make them stay live, I’d be set. Instead, you have to water them and provide them the exact amount of sunlight needed. It’s so tedious! And my plants are moody. (That’s my way of putting the blame back on them…not myself.) If you’re one of those folks that just keep everything alive by your natural abilities, I envy you. For me, I’m going to have to work at it.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: repotting and fertilizing a few and spending some time actually learning how to care for them. Hard work, you guys.

That, folks, is what I intend to work on this year. At first glance, some of the goals seem a little simple. However, they’re all going to require dedication and effort on my part. None of these come naturally for me and I’ll have to focus and sometimes make tough decisions in order to make them happen. Even though they’ll all require attentiveness from me, I also worked really hard to be sure to limit myself. I wanted to be sure to not overdo it again this year, and to choose the most important goals on my mental list. If all the stars align, I’ll accomplish these and more! However, if I end 2016 having focused heavily on these 8 areas, I’ll be amply satisfied.

If you’re setting goals this year, I wish you the best of luck with them. I’m here to encourage you and support you. If you haven’t set goals before, I encourage you to give it a shot! It’s best to write them down and put them out there for accountability sake. If you are a big goal setter or if it’s your first time and you find it to no longer be working, it’s okay to abandon goals or tweak them along the way. The important part is to do SOMETHING that propels you towards something. Big or small…doesn’t matter.

What are you hoping to work on this year?

P.S. I rambled a bit about my vision for 2016 yesterday, if you’re interested.

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I’m looking at you, 2016.

December 28, 2015 Pamela Stephens

2016 is going to be one of those years that stand out. I just know it. I’m making some major changes in both my personal life and my business and it’s going to either be one of those situations where you look back and say, “what in the hell was I thinking?!” Or I’ll look back and know that the changes were worth the risk. No matter which outcome becomes a reality, I know that I’m practicing my skills as a business owner and living boldly, and I’m thankful that I still have the courage and confidence to do so.

In 2015, I took a leap of faith and hired a full-time assistant. In 2016, I’m transforming that position a bit and hiring another very important member to the team. Both of these plans for the very near future are scary. The reality of them is nothing less than daunting. However, in life and in business, you sometimes have to take leaps of faith. (I talked about how I do that here.) Because of the immediate changes on the horizon, I fully expect for 2016 to look very different than today.

As I think about what’s ahead for my business, I have to remind myself that change is good and that sometimes growth is painful. I remind myself that I want to do big, bold things with my life and to do so, I’m going to have to put myself out there. I have to make myself uncomfortable for a bit in order to truly experience the next level in my career. It makes sense that I’m nervous, scared even, because they always say, “if your dreams don’t scare you, then they’re not big enough.”

Well, I’m going to dream big this year. I’m going to think big this year and imagine all the possibilities. I’m going to learn hard lessons. I’m going to experiences ups and downs, although I hope there are significantly more ups! I’ll either sink or swim. I’m putting in all the chips and my fingers are crossed under the table in hopes that I win big. I’m going to be courageous.

As I set out to accomplish so much this year, I must prepare myself. I must prepare myself to focus and to be determined. I must prepare myself for a new way of thinking. I need to get ready for my life to look much differently, and even possibly be a bit chaotic for a while. How does one fully prepare themselves for so much? I’m not even sure I know. I know that I’ll be setting big and small goals like a boss. I know that I’ll have to hold my team accountable, and expect them to hold me accountable too. I know that I can’t accomplish this alone and that I want success through others to be what in turn makes me successful. Buckle your seat belts, folks. It’s going to be an exciting year!

Most of this post centers around hopes of taking my real estate business to the next level. This is what funds my perfect life and supports my family. If you’re interested in a career in real estate, please reach out. I’d be happy to talk shop. Also, and even more importantly, if you know of someone hoping to buy or sell a home in 2016, please let me know! This is how I keep the doors of my business open. And don’t forget, I can help with someone’s real estate transaction ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD! Don’t be shy…email me at pamela at pamelapetrus dot com!

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Merry Christmas

December 24, 2015 Pamela Stephens

This year has been a busy one! Lots of amazing things happened in 2015, and I’m super excited to look back on those. Matthew and I have sent out a “year in review” card every year except our first, and I think it’s slowly becoming what we’re known for. This year, I ordered my card from the talented/sweet/professional Becky at Pineapple Princess Design Co on Etsy. I’ve ordered from several designers on Etsy and this was by far the best experiences…even including a mix up with the printer where my cards ended up in New Jersey.

Looking back over this year’s list, I think there’s a blog post for almost each event! In case you’d like more info, here are the links:

Alaska! Oh, Alaska. It was such an awesome trip and I promise to get around to sharing the rest of the photos soon!
Nursing School! Matthew started nursing school just a couple of months after we were married, so it was a huge accomplishment (and relief) for him to finish this year. I am still very proud of him for going after and dominating this goal.
I sold over 50 houses! This 50 includes houses nationwide. I didn’t blog much about my real estate business this year and it was a busy one! In 2016, don’t forget that I can help with ANY real estate transaction ANYWHERE in the world. Email me: pamela at pamelapetrus dot com.
Renovating our home! This one will probably be on our 2032 Christmas card too! If you haven’t been keeping up with the progress, you can see bits and pieces here.
A new car! There’s a chance that this car is going to go down in history as my most prized possession. I am so happy that I pushed past the guilt/worry and bought it anyway. I love, love driving around the country in this beauty.
Matthew does chemo treatments! Matthew began his nursing career at the hospital and being offered this job at the clinic was a game changer for our family. The regular work hours and no nights/holidays/weekends gave us much more time to spend together. After nursing school and still working full time, it felt like we were finally able to enjoy each other’s company. It was a very welcomed change.
Top 10% of Keller Williams! This email popped into my inbox on a day when I was feeling particularly beat down. I’d been working nonstop and just couldn’t seem to get caught up. Seeing that I had moved into the top 10% of realtors under 40 in the ENTIRE COUNTRY was just the motivation I needed to keep going. Side note: Thank you to everyone who has played a part in this! I’d be jobless without you guys!
Matthew as the Easter Bunny! This really happened. You should have seen how adorable/funny it was.
Tennis! Another one of the life-changing moments came when I took up tennis this year. Not only does it serve as amazing exercise, I’m spending time with a new friend AND finally reserving time to do something for myself. The transition in my mind was difficult, yet I’m finally learning how important this time is for me. Wimbledon, here I come! Just kidding, of course.
Thanksgiving! We’ve had family over for various holidays before. I have not, however, ever agreed to prepare and an entire Thanksgiving meal by myself before. Somehow, Matthew and I pulled it off!

It’s amazing to look back on these ten events, knowing that there were hundreds more that took place this year too. Sometimes if feels like the years pass by so quickly, yet each year when I make this list, I’m amazed that all of these things went down in just one year. It’s a lovely reminder that we have so much time with which to do amazing things. The trick is though, we have to MAKE them happen. If we don’t make a conscious effort to go after big dreams, life will simply slip by. Speaking of dreams, my 2016 goals will be up on the blog next week, so be sure to pop back in for that.

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas holiday and get to do all of the things you enjoy. Much love, The Petruses.

P.S. Our card in 2013 & 2014.

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2015 Christmas Decor

December 21, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I learned a few things about Christmas this year.

If my decorations aren’t up by mid-November, there’s a chance that they might not go up at all, and I’ll be super stressed. The longer I can enjoy my holiday décor, the better. Sitting in a room filled with cozy lights could be my favorite part of the year.
I should invite people over early in the season. The sooner I have people over, the sooner I’ll get all of those lingering Christmas tubs put away! The weekend after all of the extra items were put away felt simply magical. I want to reach that point earlier in the season.
Photos of Christmas décor are much better when taken in the early evening/afternoon hours. The photos of my big tree in the living room are much better than the one of Matthew and I by the tree, which was taken a few hours later. Speaking of, I’m not sure what those random specks of light/dust/glitter are on us. Something tells me that my lens was dirty. Next year, I’ll make a point to take all photos while there’s still a bit of daylight left…and to clean my lens before our little photo session.

If you remember the post about my inspiration for the year, you’ll quickly notice that my actual décor looks nothing like my plans. Literally. Nothing like it. This fact is what brings me to realization #1. As time passed by quickly, I ran out of time to plan for new décor. Instead, I used items that I already had to get things decorated ASAP. There just simply wasn’t time to search out new items. Next year, I hope to start a little earlier so that I have more time to plan.

Hopefully these few photos give you an idea of what our home looks like this holiday season. Imagine Christmas music, lots of twinkling lights, and hot chocolate galore. That about sums it up. We’re only a few days away from the bulk of the holiday festivities, so I hope you’re well rested, full of the holiday spirit, and eager to mark off another holiday season with those you love. Remember, don’t get too caught up in the hustle and bustle. Be sure to make time to truly enjoy this magical season.

P.S. If you’d like to look back, here’s last year’s Christmas decor.

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Quick & Easy DIY Holiday Gift

December 17, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I saw this idea on Pinterest back in the early days and I’ve filed it away in memory, hoping that I’d have a chance to use it someday. Yesterday (and today) I attended the ALC Retreat with a few of my peers and since it was so close to Christmas, I decided to bring along a little prize for everyone. (The Associate Leadership Council is similar to a board of directors at our local Keller Williams office in which you can be invited to join if you’re in the top 20% of the company. Yay me!) Of course, I didn’t have the idea until the last minute, so I needed something I could throw together quickly. As I was wrapping up the gifts, I decided to share it here with you guys because this little idea could come in handy if you need a quick and relatively inexpensive gift for upcoming holiday festivities.At first, I woke up and started designing my own tag and then I reminded myself, “Don’t recreate the wheel, Pamela.” With a quick google search, I stumbled upon this adorable printable for free! I printed two sheets of the tags on cardstock, and I was in business. I love the turquoise and red and that the designer left a spot for a hole punch at the top…good design gets me every time. Next, I simply purchased a few bottles of red nail polish and attached the tags with string!Voila! You have a quick, adorable gift that doesn’t take much time or money. This idea would make a great stocking stuffer, teacher’s gift, or a happy for someone that you don’t know very well. Adding the customized and cheeky tag takes a simple gift up a notch and proves that you put some thought in to it.

Have you seen any other fun and simple gift ideas floating around lately? I’d love to have some other ideas to store away for later!

P.S. My apologies for the poorly lit photos. The lighting in my office is awful!

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The happiest (and busiest) time of the year.

December 14, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I sat on my couch on Saturday afternoon, literally too exhausted to get up and do any of the things that I’d previously intended to do that day. I suppose it was a bit ambitious to consider that I’d do anything productive after the whirlwind of a week we’d experienced. Matthew and I both worked long, hard days each day last week and then had some sort of event to attend in the evening hours, each putting us getting home well after our usual bed time. Literally, we had an event every single night last week. Each day as we talked about being simply exhausted, we’d continue on to the next event with a smile. Each day, as we rushed off to the next engagement, we discussed how we wanted to attend each and every event, yet we were so tired from the hustle and bustle of the week. This week, I’m hoping for a bit more time to rest and be at home.

As I sat there almost motionless on Saturday, I thought about just how much I need down time…how much I’ve come to love my simple routine. Once upon a time I was superwoman…a mover and a shaker that did absolutely everything for everyone, taking very little time for myself. I’d go and go until I eventually crashed and burned. I’d recuperate and then do it all again until I came crashing back down again. I even used this approach with my real estate business. In the first year, I often worked from 7:00 am until 9:00 or 10:00 at night with very little help. Then I crashed. Actually, I crashed so hard that I almost locked up the doors and quit selling real estate altogether. True story.

Instead, I finally realized that I had to change my approach. I needed quite time. I needed days with no makeup. I needed time to sit and regroup quietly in the comfort of my own home. I needed days where I didn’t change from my pajamas until well past the normal hours. Actually, when I began drinking coffee, is when I first started giving myself little breaks and taking things more slowly. Now, after almost a year of carving out time to rest and relax, I feel like a new person. I also feel completely out of whack if I don’t get that time. I am emotional and short-fused. Sometimes I feel physically ill and my headaches come more often. I’m not a master of resting just yet, and my body is the first to show signs when I’ve skipped down time more than I should.

On Saturday, as I finally had a day to rest, I pulled up my blog reader to find 111 unread blog posts on Bloglovin’. I don’t follow tons of blogs, so 111 unread posts is nonsensical. My usual routine is to catch up on the week’s posts on Saturday or Sunday morning. Most of the time, I wake up before Matthew and sip my coffee while catching up on my favorite writers from the week before. Clearly, I haven’t been able to do that for quite some time. Actually, I as scrolled back, I realized that that last posts I’d seen were from Thanksgiving. This means, my usual routine has been upset for several weeks, which helps explain why I feel so off kilter.

In the past as I’ve struggled to carve out time for resting, I’ve posting things like this and this in the past. Both of these were written after somewhat of a “crash.” It’s been a daily struggle for some time to actually relax. When things get tough and I feel burdened with responsibility, my personal time is the first to go. I quickly forfeit my time to rejuvenate as soon as I feel obligated to complete some other task.

As the busyness of the holiday season comes in full force, I know that it’s even more important than usual to be sure I’m resting. I need to be sure I save some time for myself to do nothing. To sit. To read or relax. Why does it feel so hard to do?? How can I be sure that I don’t continually hit the burn out stage before resting? I don’t have that answer just yet. However, I know that I must continue to be diligent in saving some time for myself. I must fight for rest, even if the person I’m fighting is myself and my own insecurities. As we embark on another busy holiday season, I hope that you, too, make time to rest. I hope you sit quietly and sip slowly. We all deserve that right, after all.

Leave a comment Inspiration & Thoughts 2015 - Christmas - inspiration - What I've Learned

On the Road to Kansas

December 10, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Last week I shared a glimpse into our Kansas City trip, and I left out some valuable experiences. It’s pretty common that I enjoy the trip to somewhere just as much as I enjoy being there. The road to Nashville is where I found that lovely general store and many other of our fondest memories. This trip to Kansas City was no exception.

We left from Thanksgiving in Texas to make the trip north. I’d never been through Oklahoma or Kansas, so I was looking forward to taking in the scenery. I also had a goal of actually stopping and experiencing something in Oklahoma so that I could mark it on our map. Mission accomplished! I’m actually quite impressed that we get to mark off three new states after just one short weekend trip.

We made the trip via the Indian Nation Turnpike and I loved the scenery! I felt like this route gave us a true vision of the Oklahoma landscape, and I loved seeing the hills/mountains and the trees boasting the beautiful fall colors. As I gazed out into the horizon, I could easily imagine the Native Americans roaming about and buffalo traipsing the landscape. I felt like I was getting a tiny glimpse into American history. As we drove down the turnpike we came upon a sign that said “next exit 25 miles.” We quickly swerved for the exit that we were about to pass for a bathroom break. The Daisy Store in Daisy, Oklahoma was the one and only option at this exit, and it was just as you’d imagine any small town store to be. Locals were gathered around tables as they waited for the chicken tenders to finish frying, just behind the check out counter. There was one bathroom which resembled a tiny little closet in the back that Matthew and I had to share. There was only one water option in the cooler, which was quite different from the array of choices we usually see when we stop. They also had four padlocks on the door to lock the place up. The thing that stood out most to me was the gas wall heater that hung on the wall just outside the bathroom. This heater, and maybe others like it, appeared to be the only source of heat for the quaint little store. While I found it rather cozy, I also couldn’t help but imagine the liability at hand and chuckle because you’d never see something of the sort at a large truck stop these days. You’d think this ten minute experience from our trip wouldn’t make it to the blog, yet I look back on the Daisy Store with a smile. Further up the road, we began looking for a spot for lunch. We try to only eat local restaurants when we travel, so I began searching for options a bit early. This stretch though, was rather rural so I was having trouble finding a winner that wasn’t too far from our path. I did get a kick out of some of the reviews though. “A budget steak dinner” and “the last restaurant with a smoking section” just weren’t things that appealed to me. Finally, we came up on a diner and darted in for a quick bite. There were so many things about Angel’s Diner that I just loved. First, my Daddy’s favorite song by Don Williams was playing as we entered. This song always makes me smile with contentment and I knew right away that we’d come to the right place. The surroundings were decorated in 50s fashion just as you’d expect. The difference here, however, is that the place was immaculately clean and the entire staff was extremely friendly. Our server in particular, was outgoing and welcoming and enabled us to really enjoy our experience there. Matthew had the steak finger special and I had a burger. (They gave me extra pickles, so they’re a winner in my book.) The food was really tasty and although we didn’t have any pie, there was quite a selection of options made there at the restaurant. I loved the vibe of this place, the funny names on the menu, and the old country music that was playing. It really felt like a blast from the past, and it’s certainly a place I’d go back to. I haven’t mentioned yet that it’s been raining the entire trip so far and it’s also freezing cold. Therefore, all of these little pit stops require me to bundle up and try my best to stay dry as we come and go. Most of the time I wasn’t too successful in that feat, and I think heated car seats are the reason I didn’t end up with pneumonia. I think the dreariness of the day is important to mention, though, because we could have easily given up and driven through drive throughs to avoid the nasty weather. However, we’d have missed out on several awesome experiences that way. I think pointing out how gross the weather was is important because it’s a lesson to seize opportunities when you have them and to make the most of every situation, even freezing, rainy days in Oklahoma.

As we continued our trip, we made it to Iola, Kansas, a growing town that Matthew had actually written a report on once. This is where we first began seeing ice in the trees and on the ground, a site that we’d see for the rest of our time there. We stopped for gas and I got a cup of butterfinger coffee, which will go down in history as the first time I’ve ever gotten gas station coffee that I enjoyed. We also saw a sign for the “world’s largest town square” so we made a quick detour to see that. Whether it’s actually the world’s largest or not, I don’t know. However, I loved getting to drive around it and wouldn’t mind stopping to explore it more later.After Iola, we finished the trek to Kansas City and you can read more about that in last week’s post. The trek home wasn’t quite as packed with experiences as the ride up, and that could be because it was STILL raining and we were rather exhausted. We did stop at one gas station that had the largest selection of liquor/alcohol that I’ve ever seen under one roof. (Mind blowing.) We also attempted lunch at a place that seemed to be promising by its online profile. When we arrived, however, we were sorely disappointed and kept going. Their logo was a buzzard if that give you some perspective. Instead, we continued on and made a small detour to have Instant Karma Gourmet Hot Dogs. This place was much more “our style” and had a ton of interesting hotdogs to choose from. I loved that each table had a different set of fun S&P shakers on them. We ate and rested for a bit and then headed back out to finish our rainy drive home.

As usual, I look back on the trek to and from our destination as having some of the best experiences of the trip. It’s often these side excursions as we travel that I enjoy the most. I think that mindset can be applied to life in general, too. It’s often more about the journey than the destination, and in my opinion we can miss out of some of the most rewarding experiences by focusing too heavily on the destination.

“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It’s a direction, not a destination.” – Carl Rogers

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