We could all use a little encouragement every now and then!
Today is my birthday.
Several months ago, I thought I’d write something eloquent about “37 things I’ve learned” and share it on my birthday. But then the days – much like these 37 years – passed more quickly than I was expecting and I didn’t write anything profound.
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Your mess is your message.
I heard this on a podcast and quickly wrote it in the notes on my phone. I’ve often felt like I’m unqualified to lead this tribe of inspired folks because I don’t have enough of life figured out.
My coach told me a story of a girl traveling with her mentor to lead a seminar. On the plane, the mentor is reading the book that they’re headed to speak on. She asked him how many times he’d read the book and he said this was his first time. Shocked, she asked how they’d be able to present on it if he hadn’t even read the full book yet. He said, “You only have to be one chapter ahead.”
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The first item I bought for this baby was a pair of gray velcro sneakers. The tag read 3-6 months and they had been discarded near the checkout at a discount store. They were a mere $5.99 so it didn’t take much to convince me.
When making this first baby purchase, I didn’t browse multiple aisles. I didn’t look at all the tiny onesies, pondering which was the best look for our little guy. I saw some shoes discarded by someone at checkout and I bought them.
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I sat there with my second cup of coffee on a quiet Sunday morning while nearly every muscle in my body ached. We’d spent more than 12 hours painting and pulling up old carpet the day before, and I was feeling the results. I stared out my big window, knowing that the days here in this lovely little house were coming to an end.
I took another sip of hot coffee, as if its warmth would provide some clarity around the thoughts swirling in my mind.
The kids were sending those little animoto videos from their dad’s phone as they were all still laying in bed at his house. I’d received a chicken bawking, and jokes about underwear from a unicorn. I realized that those videos were more like what my Sunday mornings would look like in the future. At least half of them.
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Here’s what I learned about upsetting people. It’s going to happen. They’ll be upset and confused and they might even rage for a bit or call you ugly names. But then in a matter of moments, someone else will do something even more
disruptive and they move on. There will be a new story to spread around the block. There will be something new to be mad about.
When it was time to tell people about my divorce, I was torn up inside. What would people think? No one would have seen it coming. What will they say? What will they think of us? Of me.
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I could feel the burn of hot tears lingering in my eyes, waiting to spill out onto my cheeks. Waiting to flow as soon as the gates were opened and they were free from where they’ve been trapped for months, waiting for the time to fall.
My husband had just gone to the ER again, this time while I was in another state. It was the third time in 45 days. I’d just worked nonstop for several days, doing a job that I didn’t even know I’d taken.
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I’m known for overthinking things and obsessing over making the right decision when there’s a choice to be made. That’s why I snatched up Anne Bogel’s new book Don’t Overthink It as soon as I saw it. If I learn just one thing to help ease my decision-making process, it would be worth it.
Here’s what I’m learning though. No matter how much we obsess, there is no “right decision” in most cases. Sure, there are a few things that are more black and white than others. Most of the decisions we face, though, aren’t that way. We put ourselves through so much turmoil to choose correctly and there simply isn’t a right or wrong choice.
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Two weekends ago, we had the best weekend full of memorable family moments. From Friday-Sunday, the weekend was packed with great things like the first time to climb a tree and going back to church for the first time since Corona. We’d had special desserts and sat outside in the cooler temps. It was simply lovely.
The weekend was rocking and rolling right along, and then it stopped rolling and mainly rocked. We woke up Monday morning and found one of our pups dead and rushed another to the vet. All bets were off for the productive Monday we had planned.
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This post is for all of you who want a nice, pretty home but you feel like you can never get there and the idea consumes you. It’s for those of you who buy too many figurines and throw pillows from the Target sale aisle and then cuss them when you get home because your house still isn’t quite right.
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Lately, I’ve been thinking about the routines and good habits I’d formed pre-pandemic and just how many of those have fallen to the wayside. I’ve been thinking about which ones I need to get back to so that I feel like my old self again. Some of them, no matter how bad I want them, seem impossible. Some of them feel pretentious in times like these, like launching my podcast. Some things, like building a cool cabin on our new property, seem rather daunting when I’m still not organized here at #magnoliaridgeLA.
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