Tag Archives: What I’ve Learned

Knowing What You’re Good At

Know Your Strengths to be Your Beautiful SelfI think there’s a certain level of maturity and self-awareness that must be present to really know what you’re good at. I’ve nailed down a few of my own skills lately, and I’ve realized just how valuable that can be. By getting a grasp on what you’re really good at, you can suddenly open up doors for yourself that you might have otherwise missed. Here’s how I’ve been able to make some progress in those areas myself.

First, I think you must identify things you’re NOT good at. Sometimes it’s hard for us to admit that certain things aren’t our strong points. We may have to come to terms with the fact that we’re not good at everything. (The horror!) We may also have to realize that we need to delegate some items or ask for help. However, the fact of the matter is, we’re not all good at everything. Being bad at some things gives us room to be great at others. If you can put your finger on things that you’re not the best at, you will start to identify things you are good at. (It might help to think about things that you find yourself procrastinating.)

Secondly, think about things that you always get compliments on. If you pay close attention, you might find that people tend to repetitively compliment you on the same or related things. For me, I always hear things like, “you have great taste.” Or, “you’re great at marketing.” Without realizing it, people were identifying some of my skills that I may not have really paid attention to otherwise. If you listen to things that the people around you point out, you might identify some underlying skills that you weren’t really noticing. You can also possibly identify things you aren’t as good at through this same method. However, be very, very careful to not let someone’s seemingly negative comments bring you down or discourage you. Pay attention, yet don’t let someone else have the final say.

Finally, I always encourage people to pay attention to your senses. If you’re genuinely excited about something and can’t stop thinking about it, maybe that’s your thing. If you regularly feel anxious or dread something, it might not be your thing. Most of the time, your gut will guide you towards what’s a right fit. You just have to listen and pay attention to what you’re feeling.

Furthermore, you may be good at some aspects of things, and not as good at others. This is certainly the case for me. For example, I’m a great business owner. I have a natural business mindset that allows me to make good marketing and growth decisions. I’m usually very good at sensing what my customers/clients might want and then delivering just that. On the other hand, I’m not as good at some of the behind the scenes aspects. If I had to file my own taxes, I’d probably quit. Many of the more tedious aspects of running a business are not my forte. I learned this about myself by following the guidelines above. I also learned that I can still be a great business owner, even if I’m not good at all areas of running a business. Rather than trying to do all and be all, I can get help with the things that I’m not good at, and in turn, that’ll open up time for me to do the things I am best at. It’s a win, win.

I’ve found that by being truly honest with ourselves, we can excel in the areas we’re meant to be known for. We can also alleviate a lot of unnecessary stress by not forcing ourselves to do the stuff that doesn’t fill us up. Of course, sometimes our jobs do require us to do things that aren’t ideal. For example, it may be your job to clean the bathroom. That’s not a glamorous position, yet someone has to do it. I wouldn’t suggest refusing to clean the bathroom because it doesn’t fill you up. However, if you focus on what you’re good at and really excel at that, you might be opening yourself up for a promotion where bathroom duty is no longer on your list. Sometimes we have to pay our dues. In the end though, it’s by accentuating our talents that we’ll get ahead.

Is there something that you seem to dread on a daily basis? Spend some time today thinking about what you naturally feel drawn to and what you want to run away from. This exercise might give you the ammunition you need to craft a more ideal and more beautiful life for yourself.

Have any thoughts on the topic? Please share!

The planner in the photo above is from A Beautiful Mess.

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#the100dayproject – Half Way!

DIY pom pomfirecrackergift bags!mountain sketchGet To Work Bookthe100dayprojectI am officially half way through the 100 day project. Judging by the fact that the project is intended to wrap up on July 14, I clearly didn’t keep up very well. In my usual fashion, I lost momentum quickly in. I regrouped, started again, and then lost momentum again. I think my biggest problem was that I sorely underestimated how difficult it would be to add in some creative time to my schedule. Going from allowing myself practically NO creative time to suddenly deciding that I’d do it every day, proved to be a bit tricky.

After falling off the wagon for the third or fourth time, I decided that I was going to complete the project…it just wasn’t going to be by July 14. Some days I’d “play catch up.” I’d knock out several projects on the weekend to make up for missing several days the past week. That’s all fine and good, yet it does sort of miss the point of the project. Therefore, I decided to cut myself some slack. I decided that I might not be able to give myself creative time every single day. However, I would still create 100 projects. Even if it took me a few additional months, I’d still likely have way more to show for the year than if I hadn’t taken on this project.

I shared a progress report a little way in to the project where I talked about what I’d learned so far. Here’s a few more things that I’ve picked up on recently:

  1. It’s best to do any sort of creative project in the morning. I tended to put off my creative time until everything else was done. Shame on me. First of all, things photograph better in the morning. Some of my photos are dark and not that great because I’d be photographing it with poor lighting late at night. Plus, expecting myself to feel creative and inspired after a long day of work, isn’t the smartest move. Most of the time, I’d come home exhausted and not work on anything, which resulted in me getting off track. If you want to truly embrace your creativity, it’s likely best to do that in the morning.
  2. There are so many mediums that I’ve never tried! In thinking up ideas for the project, I realized that there’s a lot of artistic things that I’ve never tried. This project gave me the freedom to try out charcoals, watercolor, purchase a sewing course, etc. If I wouldn’t have taken on this project, I would have likely continued to put this sort of exploration on the back burner. I’ve learned that I have more artistic interests/abilities than I thought I did, and I’m happy to be trying new things. I’ll succeed at some and fail at others. That’s how this goes.
  3. I mainly wanted to do more painting. I set my hashtag as #100daysofcraftythings because I didn’t want to limit myself. I wanted to be able to do all sorts of projects. However, I learned a little ways in that what I really wanted was to allow myself more time to paint. When planning out projects, I almost always gravitated towards painting. This project helped me to realize that I want to explore this art a bit more.
  4. Everyone has an opinion. Some people love everything. Some people hate everything. I already knew that I can sometimes get my feelings hurt rather easily. Creating something and then getting somewhat negative feedback on that thing, takes hurt feelings to a whole new level. I have a new respect for “real” artist that put their art out there and in turn open themselves up to all sorts of unsolicited feedback. If you create something and freely share it with the world, I have mad respect for you.
  5. I suck at following too strict of rules. The entire concept of this project is that you take time each day to nurture a creative habit. I totally get it AND support it. However, I also have a natural aversion to following the rules too closely. I think the main reason I couldn’t keep up was reason #1 (above). However, I also think that I sort of rebuked the idea of having to do something every single day…even if it’s something I wanted to do. I think I needed to give myself the freedom to not have to do it sometimes.

All in all, I’m still thrilled I took on this project and I also know that I’ll be immensely proud of myself once I reach #100. I’m truly learning a lot about myself and my creative ability through the process. I think that I’m going to benefit greatly from “giving” myself this time, and I can’t wait to report back with 100 projects completed.

If you’d like to see what all I’ve been up to, check out #100daysofcraftythings on Instagram. Can you imagine that there will eventually be 100+ photos there?! I hardly can’t.

 

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Being Afraid.

Being AfraidI felt so nervous about sharing last week’s post. What if my clients thought I was too busy to help them? What if people starting thinking Matthew and I were “having problems?” There were 1 million ways that my words could have been misconstrued, and I had considered them all. Somehow, I still felt compelled to hit that scary publish button.

Here’s what I learned though. The scariest posts to share are often the ones that I get the greatest, most heartfelt feedback from.  I almost immediately began receiving messages and emails from readers who felt things were swirling crazily around them too. I felt very nervous about sharing my struggles with the online world, yet there was such a positive response from it. People understand. People related to those feelings of craziness that I was experiencing.

That’s what this online space is about after all…a place to inspire, share struggles, and encourage. Even if that shared feeling is just a simple nod as someone scrolls, my mission is still accomplished.

I’ve been asked 1,000 times why I blog. This is usually from people who don’t truly understand the concept. Sometimes the question is asked with a genuine desire to understand and sometimes it’s asked in a condescending way that leaves me with hurt feelings. (That’s a post for another day.) My answer is always the same though:

I am a writer and a storyteller, and I want to inspire others.

First of all, it took me a long time to be able to say “I am a writer” with confidence. Writers write books. Writers get paid to write. Writers write fiction. Writers have English degrees and jot things down in fancy notebooks while overlooking hazy mountains on a vacation seeking creative exploration. I usually write blog posts with the notes app on my iPhone. Most of the time these are written from bed, first thing in the morning. Sometimes they’re written from the table or my favorite spot on the sofa while I sip my coffee. Sometimes, I stop in the middle of Target and begin a post (or email or newsletter text) because the inspiration hit. It’s also my story…not a fictitious one. My version of writing is much less glamorous than what I described above. However, the ultimate truth still prevails – I am a writer.

While it took me a very long time to say this out loud (and now to publish it here on the Internet), I came to this realization almost two years after creating this blog. The fact of the matter is, I had really, really wanted this online space for a long time. I just felt scared to go for it. I wasn’t sure if what I had to say was actually something people wanted to hear. The motivation was always there though – I wanted to write.

As I looked back on my life, I realized I had always been a writer. I wrote poems about fish as early as I could use a pen. When I faced four years of repeated heartbreak, I wrote poems about the people I had loved and lost. In high school English, I looked forward to the one million writing assignments that our top-of-the-line English teacher required. When Matthew and I fought when we were first married, I wrote long emails to him explaining my frustration or point of view (and often apologizing for getting angry). Since the very beginning, I’ve used writing to process my emotions, communicate hurt and disappointment, as well as to share my thoughts, joy, and excitement. I don’t have a book that you can purchase from your local book store. Nonetheless, I’m a writer.

Sometimes people ask why I don’t just write in a journal. That’s a great question, and I’m not sure that I even know the answer to it. I’ve never enjoyed writing in a journal. As a young girl, I remember deciding to journal on multiple occasions. I’d write about my day for a few weeks and then never pick it back up again. For someone who loves to write, journaling makes total sense. I think this is where the story-telling portion of my personality comes in. I have always loved to tell a good story. There’s something about regurgitating exciting details that gets me excited.

Since having the blog, I approach every experience as a potential blog post. When driving to a new location or event, I’m already drafting a blog post about it in my head. I’m coming up with catchy titles or flowery introductions. I did the same thing before having the blog…I just envisioned myself telling someone about the experience instead of writing about it. Since I can remember, I’ve always loved to tell stories. (The funnier, the better, by the way.)

My combined love of writing and story-telling is why I blog. This place is the perfect outlet for me. It’s where I tell my story, whether it be exciting, boring, average, heartbreaking, or insightful, to the world. It’s my primary venue for attempting to encourage and inspire the world around me. It’s where I provide a new prospective, both for myself and for others. Honestly, this is where I’ll look back to see how far I’ve come. This blog will be my journal and my scrapbook. Hopefully, it will be a chronicle of the ups and downs and progression of what I hope will be a beautiful life. Rather than keeping this experience and record of my life to myself, I’ve chosen to share it with the world. In all honesty, this space is just as much (if not more) for me as it is for other people. It’s my outlet. It’s my release. It’s my journal and sometimes my therapy. I write here because I am a writer. I write here because I need this outlet. And I write here because sometimes other people can learn from or take comfort in my experiences. Sometimes it makes us all feel less alone.

I say all of this to say that’s sometimes hitting that publish button is immensely frightening. Sometimes I’m literally afraid of what someone might think about something I share. The more personal posts are the scariest because sometimes I’m sharing very vulnerable feelings. I’ve learned that that’s ok though. Most likely, the more nervous I am about hitting the publish button, the more likely it is that someone will relate to what I’m feeling. Even starting this blog was scary. Committing to posting twice a week was scary. And sharing several of these posts have been scary. The end result is always worth it though. I push myself and test my strength with every post that’s shared. I learn to overcome something with every new story. I grow as a writer and a story teller and even more importantly, as a person, with every paragraph that’s shared here. on My Neck of the Woods. Even though it’s very scary sometimes, I know that it’s worth it.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading along here. Thank you for the encouragement and kind words. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope that we’re both equally surprised and pleased with the outcome. I hope we can all look back and revel in how far we’ve come. I’m going to keep hitting that share button, even when I’m plagued with fear, and I hope you’ll do something scary too. From what I’ve learned, those are the most rewarding tasks…the ones that sometimes scare the hell out of you. Someone once told me, if you’re not scared to death, then your dreams aren’t big enough.

What should you do today that’s a little bit (or a lot) scary? Is there something that you’ve been avoiding because you’re afraid? Take a step today. Hit that publish button even though you’re scared. Today is the perfect day to take that first step towards a big goal or to push yourself a bit away from what’s comfortable. What will you do today that’s scary? You’ll never know the end result without first giving it a shot. Do something brave today and then come back and tell me about it! I’d love to hear your story and to cheer you on.

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Being a Business Owner

Business Owner (4)

If there’s one thing I could talk about all day long besides goal-setting, it’s business. It doesn’t even matter what type of business really. I just love the concept. Looking back, I can see signs that I was destined to be a business owner from day one.

I’ve opened two business so far in my short lifetime. At 23, I opened Salt & Pepper Accessory Boutique with my sister. At this point in my life, I had very little experience in knowing what all was out there in the world. I did have experience in the fashion industry, and this business came from the idea of providing affordable, out-of-the-ordinary fashion accessories to the average woman. The premise was that a shopper would get the service of a boutique store at affordable prices and that absolutely everyone would be welcomed there. Our staff was rigorously trained to make every shopper feel special, important, and wanted. I loved how we were subtlety empowering our shoppers.

After opening in 2009, we added clothing, shoes, vintage furniture/home decor, and various household goods. We also expanded and moved to a newer, larger building. Looking back, my sister and I opened a business that thrived primarily on disposable income right in the middle of a recession. Realistically, that doesn’t seem like a smart business move. However, I’ve always operated on my gut feeling and something said go for it.

Business Owner (1)

Four years after opening Salt & Pepper, I made the oh-so-tough decision to sell the business and move on to new ventures. To this day, I miss searching out the coolest, non-mainstream items for the store. Nonetheless, I love business number two and haven’t looked back.

I became a licensed realtor in June of 2013. At that time, I really had no idea where this career would take me. All I knew was that I’d always had a strong interest in the real estate industry. Shortly after becoming licensed, I created Pamela Petrus, LLC. On the surface, it looks like I show houses for a living. Sometimes my short answer to people when they ask the ever-popular what-do-you-do question is, “I sell real estate.” That’s just the short answer though. In fact, I run a business.

At this time, Pamela Petrus, LLC is a business that focuses primarily on aiding third parties in the sell and purchase of residential properties. I don’t show houses all day, and I’m not a salaried employee of Keller Williams Realty. lnstead, I am an independent contractor (self-employed) and Keller Williams is my broker.

In all honesty, I’m likely selling myself short by saying, “I sell houses.” In reality, I am a business owner. I am a professional marketer and negotiator. I study pages and pages of contracts daily. I manage communication between a host of parties involved in a single real estate transaction…bankers, lawyers, buyers, sellers, contractors, insurance agents…the list goes on and on. I possess a wealth of information, not known by the general public. I protect my clients’ investments and help them make the best decisions during what’s often the largest purchase of their lives. Frequently, I’m a counselor and I help manage emotions.

Business Owner (2)

I don’t just show houses. I do all of the tasks done by the average business owner. I advertise. I pay payroll. I research my market. I study trends and manage finances. I pay lots and lots of taxes. Undoubtedly, my paycheck comes from commission paid on the sale of a home. That’s ultimately how I pay my bills. However, it’s so much more elaborate than selling real estate as a hobby. I didn’t get into this industry to look at pretty houses everyday. I’m a professional, not a hobbyist.

In thinking about what it really means to be a business owner, sometimes I’m taken back. Sometimes, I myself, forget to treat Pamela Petrus, LLC as a business, not a job. Sometimes I’m simply amazed/proud/humbled by the fact that I’ve opened two businesses already, and I’m not even 30 years old. Most of all, I’m thankful for this business mindset that I possess and for the opportunity to do what I do.

Business Owner (3) This post came to be after a pretty humbling realization I had. I read all of the blog posts on business. Seriously, if one of my favorite bloggers writes anything about their businesses, I’m all ears (or eyes, rather). I’m always a tad jealous of how much control they have and how unapologetic they are for crafting things to be how they want. Then, it dawned on me. I, too, am a business owner with the ability to run my business how I choose. I don’t have to work with mean people. I can manage my schedule so that it provides the best life possible for my husband and I. I get to decide what I  will and won’t do and what’s next. The scary truth is, all of the decisions begin and end with me, and I get to decide how this business of mine is ran. That fact is both invigorating and immensely frightening.

What’s next? Something big. Only time will tell. I do have big plans, for sure. I have dreams of investing (rentals and remodels), coaching, and consulting. I’m not sure what each of these items will look like, yet I know they’re on the horizon. Will I open other businesses? Most likely. Will I continue to run a real estate business? Most likely. Will I constantly be looking for the next big thing for me and my family? Definitely. I truly believe that the best lives are lived by always seeking new adventures and by always looking for more. Some ventures may succeed and others may fail. However, you’ll never know which is which without making that first step.

P.S. A post on how I manage a full to-do list.
P.S.S. Click here if you’re interested in becoming a professional realtor.

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Free to Be

Free to Be MeIt’s 3:36 am and I’m wide awake. Not that kind of awake where you realize that you have hours left to sleep, cozy back up under your warm but cool blanket, and go back to sleep for what feels like the rest of your life. Those are the best kinds of awake. It’s also not that awake where your mind races with things to do. Believe me, I’ve had that kind of awake for more times than I care to mention.

Instead, this was just awake…just simply awake. I knew instantly that I wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep. However, my mind didn’t start racing with things I could/would/should do. Instead, I laid there in the darkness thinking about things I’d like to do. I decided that I most certainly wouldn’t fall back asleep even if I kept laying there very still and very quiet.

I could browse pinterest. I could read another chapter of Bossypants. I could get up and paint something. I could switch my winter shoes out for my spring ones. (I have a ton of shoes, remember?)  I could make some headway in a few work projects I hadn’t had time to complete yet. After all, I tend to be most creative and productive during these crazy morning hours when I’m awake and the rest of the world is quiet and sleeping. I could also get a head start on my massive and rather daunting work list for this Monday.

Finally, I decided that I’d get out of bed. My tossing and turning would soon wake my husband, and I couldn’t use any of my devices without disturbing the darkness of our room. Normally in this scenario I would have already made a mental list. I would have prioritized things by importance/desire and ranked 100+ tasks by what I would tackle first, second, and so forth. This is how my brain works, you see. I make lots of impossibly long lists and usually end up disappointed because time only allows for the first few items to be completed.

Not today though. I had some ideas but no list. No goal in mind. No tasks that must be completed by sunrise to prevent my disappointment. Instead, I decided that I’d just do some things. I’d start with this or that and then move on to whatever I felt like doing next. It would be ok if I didn’t paint five new paintings, perfect a thousand work tasks, or organize the entire house before daybreak. Instead, I’d just do some things…whatever I felt compelled to do in the moment…no end result in mind.

Giving myself this freedom and release might be one of the most freeing experiences I’ve had recently. There was no guilt. No interruptions. No schedule to follow. It was just me, sitting in complete silence, doing whatever I felt like doing in that moment. I seldom know this feeling, and I seldom give myself this freedom.

First, I jotted down my work to-do list for the day. I wanted to get these things out of my head so that I could do what I wanted this morning without my mind being clogged with what I had to do. (See how I use a notebook to manage my daily tasks.) My list spilled over on to two pages, but that’s ok. There was a whole day ahead of me to conquer those items. This time was free time. Next, I ordered new sheets. After all, we’ve been needing new sheets for months. I finally made a decision and took the time to actually order them. Then, I read this. And this.

Both of these were stories about appreciating yourself. One was about letting go of the negativity and self-guilt. One was about appreciating time as it passes. Both reminded me of how I want my life to be. I don’t want to run myself ragged. I don’t want to constantly punish myself from my own unrealistic expectations.

These stories reminded me that it’s ok to make time for exercise and hobbies. They reminded me that I deserve free time. Most importantly, they reminded me of how easily daily life can take over the big picture. It’s so easy to get caught up in meetings and bill paying and appointments, and unintentionally miss out on your life. I do this often. I’m much better at controlling my story today than I was 5 years ago, but I still want to be even better.

I want to take time to read these long stories and write my own. I want to schedule time for myself to do and explore and just be me. I want to craft a story with my life that one day I’ll love to tell to everyone around me. This story began 29 years ago, and if I’m lucky I’ll add many more years to it. But when you sit and think about it, 29 years is a long time. 39 years is a long time. Even one year is a long time. With each passing day and each passing hour, we’re writing our own stories. It’s up to us, solely, whether it’ll be a story worth telling.

Today’s story will be a good one. I’ll face this Monday with enthusiasm (and coffee), and I’ll do so knowing that I gave myself some time to just be. I’ll conquer my massive to-do list, while simultaneously giving myself time to be me. I’ll stop finding a million excuses for why I’m too busy to go out of town with my husband for the weekend. Instead, I’ll work harder than ever for three days and then I’ll play even harder for a few. I’m in charge of my story, you see. And I want it to be an exciting one.

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Friday’s Feelings

sipping coffeeI’ve spent a lot of time lately talking and thinking about personal development. I’ve gone through SO much lately. By “gone through,” I don’t necessarily mean trials and problems. I sort of mean development and self realization. Sometimes those processes are hard. Sometimes you realize things that are frightening or complicated or that tug on your heart strings a bit. In my experience, it causes a roller coaster of emotions. I’ve even wrote about how I can’t actually write about or explain the feelings.

One Sunday I watched this video, (via Elise Blaha) and I realized something. In the video, I felt like she captured so much of the subjects’ individual personalities, just by videoing them on the swings. I thought that was so special. Then, I realized that I need to let my own personality show more often. I realized that I hide so much of who I truly am. I do this for various reasons…to not hurt or offend someone. To not “put myself out there.” To not appear flighty or foolish. To appear in control. In doing this for so many years, I’ve stifled so much of my own happiness. I wondered, what would I look like on this swing. I realized that I wouldn’t really like what I’d look like right now. I’d probably appear timid and a little sad. Those aren’t the feelings I want to portray. I don’t want to stifle my own joy.

While thinking through this a bit, I resized that in my own journey/struggle of self discovery, I’ve likely alienated some of the people close to me. I know that there have been times when I’ve put a lot of pressure on my husband to fill voids that weren’t actually his to fill. I’ve expected him to create emotions within me that are actually my own to create. I’ve searched for someone to “make me laugh,” rather than creating my own joy from within. Man, this personal development stuff is tough. Sometimes, I think it’s likely easier to stay stagnant rather than grow. Figuring out who you really are and who you want to become is not an easy or simple process.

Nonetheless, I think of life as a journey. In this journey, I want to end up as a well-rounded, self-aware individual. I want to tell stories of hardships and how I overcame them. I want to laugh at the silliness of immaturity and terrible decisions I’ve made. Better yet, I want to tell all of the jokes. I want to make everyone laugh at my own shortcomings, silly mistakes, and funny experiences. I want to laugh everyday for the rest of my life. And as I laugh, I want to make others laugh.

I’ve thought before about what I hope people will say about me after I’m gone. This is it – “She was full of energy, always ready to conquer the world. She knew how to make a crowd laugh and told the best stories. There was never a dull moment around her. She cared about others and she always did whatever she could to help. She didn’t fret over the small stuff, because she knew the big picture was all that mattered. She was the life of the party and one of the funniest people I knew. I’ll never forget how she made me feel.”

I may not encapsulate all of that description now, but I hope that I do someday. For now, I’m going to focus on laughing. They say it’s contagious.

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5 Tips for Turning Bad Days Into Good Ones

5 Tips for Turning Bad Days Into Good Ones
Let’s face it. We all have those days. The days I’m talking about are those days when your mood is just foul. You don’t want to get off the couch. You don’t want to see or talk to anyone. And most likely you’re not exactly a joy to be around.

Well, I just recently had one of those days. Usually writing for this blog can cure most of my bad days, but for some reason, this day was just unfixable. I didn’t even want to write! Gasp! I didn’t want to work on any of my fun projects or do any of the things I usually want to do. Eventually I started to snap out of it, but it made me think about what sorts of things I usually do to kick those sorts of days to the curb.

I’m not one for wallowing or whining. (Things that I say to my husband absolutely do not count in regards to that statement. I can wallow and whine to him all day long….sorry, honey!) I’m a firm believer that you control your own life, which translates into you having complete control over how every single one of your days transpire. So, when I notice that I’m having a crummy and unproductive day, I try my best to remedy it immediately.

Here are a few tips for turning those days around quickly and easily:

1. Treat yourself.

This can be a large or small treat, depending upon your budget. My treats are usually simple like Starbucks or ice cream. However, it can also be something personal like getting your nails done or a new shirt. If your budget doesn’t allow for something big, that’s fine. Take a few moments to enjoy your favorite candy bar. Giving yourself a small treat (and the time to really enjoy it) can often turn a bad day around fairly quickly.

2. Stop what you’re doing and do something you really enjoy.

Sometimes a bad day can be triggered by stress or frustration with whatever we’re dealing with at the time. I’ve found that stopping what I’m doing and coming back to it later helps turn those frustrations around and can actually give you a new perspective. If you sense a bad day coming, put that project to the side and do something that makes you happy. Usually, I take time to sit and write for this blog or go for a bike ride. It could be knitting or browsing the internet. No matter what it is, doing something that makes you happy can often salvage what’s left of that day and you can return to what you were doing with a fresh look. (I wrote more about this here.)

3. Go for a walk.

I cannot explain how beneficial being outdoors is to your health. Going for a walk when you need a boost can have a dramatic impact on your outlook. Physical activity has both mental and physical benefits. Plus, being in the sunshine is known to help fight depression. In addition to these obvious benefits, going for a walk outside will often open your eyes to things that give you a new perspective on the day.

4. Browse Pinterest.

If you need to decompress or need inspiration to turn your day around, Pinterest is often the place to go. (Be sure to set yourself a timer or you could be lost there for hours!) It’s important that you only browse new pins…not things that you’ve pinned in the past. Looking through your old boards can often remind you of things you haven’t had the time to do yet and that will only add to your frustration. Spend a few minutes browsing through your favorite Pinterest categories and you will often feel inspired to have a better day. When I need a pick-me-up I often pin new things to my Decorating Ideas board…go take a look!

5. Say three nice things about yourself or the topic that’s bringing you down.

I’ve been trying a simple technique with a few folks lately to help them see the more positive side of things. When you say something negative about a person or thing, you should follow that with three positive statements about that same thing. If your bad day is a result of being hard on yourself…say three nice things about yourself. If you’re really hating your job today…say three positive things about your job. If you’re bad day started because you’re flaming mad at your husband (Sorry, babe…it does happen sometimes.)…then say three nice things about your husband. The important part here is to actually say them out loud. Saying them to yourself in your head just doesn’t give you the same result. It also helps to look at yourself in the mirror if that’s a possibility. However you do it, forcing yourself to think positively about whatever is bringing you down, can absolutely help turn your day around.

I wish I could conclude this post by saying that one of these five tricks helps me avoid bad days/moods every single time. Unfortunately, some days just suck. However, you can control them no matter how hard it seems. And if one of these tricks helps you to make a bad day even a tiny bit better, then I’ll be stoked. After all, I love all of you and want each and every one of you to have the best life possible!

What do you do when you have a bad day? I’m up for trying new things and I’d love to hear your suggestions.

 

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Nail Holes & The Nesting Place

Nail Holes & The Nesting PlaceThis post is a bit of a combo post. First, I want to bring attention to the fact that I finished my first book in many, many years back in the fall. I honestly can’t remember when the last time was that I actually finished a book that I started. I was probably a little girl. It was probably Babysitters Club or Sweet Valley High. (Not kidding.) I’ve learned a lot about how I feel about reading lately, but we’ll talk more about that later. For now, let’s all celebrate the fact that I actually read a book from start to finish. Feel free to bring me celebratory cupcakes if you’d like.

Now, let’s talk about that book. I’ve been following along with The Nester’s blog lately, and I’ve seen her book mentioned here and there around the internet. Basically, this book is about designing a home that you love around things that you already have or can put together cheaply and easily. It’s not about going in debt to furnish a picture-perfect home and it’s not about following all of the rules.

Instead, The Nester’s motto is, “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” Honestly, this motto is what drew me to her blog and the book to begin with. We all know that I struggle with perfection. It’s not uncommon for me to just not do something if I don’t feel like I have the time to do it perfectly. This is especially true for decorating our home. I have hundreds and thousands of ideas, but I delay implementing any of them for the fear of finding a better idea or not haven’t enough time to plan it out completely. It’s quite tragic.

ship paintingWhen I stumbled upon Myquillyn’s blog, her message struck me. I shouldn’t be waiting on perfection. Instead, I should be creating a home that works for Matthew and I, and I can do so without a perfect plan. There are many beautiful things out there that aren’t perfect. As a matter of fact, I tend to find that the imperfections are what’s most beautiful. Why, then, do I put things off in a quest for perfection when I don’t even want a perfect home?

As I read more of Myquillyn’s posts, I knew that her message was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed someone to coax me into just doing things, both at home and in my life in general. I hesitated to buy the book because I knew I had a terrible track record of not finishing books. I also didn’t want to read a design book that “showed you how to properly mix patterns” or some other surface level design strategy. Finally, I broke down and purchased the book for my iPad and then struggled to put it down again.

art waiting to be hungAfter reading the first few pages, I knew that I needed to really hear Myquillyn’s message. I knew that this book was far less about how do decorate and far more about why. After all, I don’t feel like I need help with how to do it. Instead, I needed someone to steer me towards actually doing things instead of waiting for the stars to align in a scenario where I have plenty of time and money and inspiration. The Nesting Place helped to me see all of the scenarios in which I was accidentally waiting for perfection. I was waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect shower curtain, and in reality, I had practically everything that I needed to at least make things beautiful for the time being. If I found a better rug/chair/ottoman/wall hanging later, then that’s fine! I could simply change it later. If you find yourself struggling with decorating your home or if you want some creative ideas for creating something beautiful on the cheap, I highly recommend reading the book.

This brings me to the second part of this post. There’s a section in The Nesting Place dedicated solely to nail holes. I almost shiver as I write this, because the thought of putting an unnecessary nail hole in my freshly painted walls, sends chills down my spine. After all, I paid a pretty penny (I suppose “pretty pennies” are worth more than ugly ones.) to have all of the holes filled and every single surface of this home painted. However, Myquillyn says, “Is there anything less risky in life than creating a one-millimeter hole in a wall that can be filled with your finger and some putty in two seconds?” She goes on to say, “Nail holes are just a part of living in a house. I’d say that a nail hole is the lowest entry-level risk-taking action you could have in life, other than getting no whip on your coffee.”

wall artAs crazy as it sounds, this section of the book was a huge turning point for me. I was putting off hanging things on my walls (something that I’ve desperately wanted to do for months) for the fear of putting a nail hole in the wrong place. How silly! That very day, I went and put a hole in the dining room wall. I hung a wreath as part of my Halloween decor…it’s wasn’t even a permanent decor item! As silly as it sounds, this was a huge step for me. I made a decision to not let such a tiny, little obstacle hinder me from having a beautiful home right now.

Each day that passes leads me closer to the day that Matthew and I will move from this home. I made a commitment that I wouldn’t put off decorating this home as I had done with our rent house. However, we’ve now lived here for 5 months and most of the house isn’t decorated as I’d like. Some of this stems from needing lots of new furniture. Some of it is from a lack of time. However, most of my hesitation to decorating has been a fear of missing the mark. It’s from a fear of hanging something in the “wrong” place or purchasing the “wrong” rug. These fears kept me from finishing our last home, and if I’m not careful, I’ll see the same thing happen in this home.

After reading Myquillyn’s book, I realized that most of my hesitation surrounds nail holes. I also realized that nail holes are really such a small issue, both literally and figuratively. The reality is, there’s a large chance that I’ll actually like where I hang something. The other reality is, if I don’t like where it’s hanging, I haven’t made some huge, life-altering mistake. I can simply move it. I can just as simply fill in the nail hole. After finishing this book, I decided to no longer let waiting on perfection be an obstacle for me in creating a home that I love.

hammer and nailsHow many areas of our life do we approach in a similar manner? I think it’s safe to say that we often let fear of the unknown be an obstacle for us in creating a life that we love. Maybe we don’t go after that promotion for a fear of being told no. Maybe we don’t tell someone how we feel, because we’re scared of how they’ll react. Maybe we don’t put nail holes in freshly painted walls, because we’re afraid that it will be the “wrong” spot. Whatever it is, these little fears can quickly and sneakily be a total road block for us in creating the lives we want. Rather than holding on to fear and the struggle for perfection, let’s tackle life, one little nail hole at a time. Sometimes the risks we need to take are tiny. Sometimes they’re large. Either way, we’ll never know the outcome without first taking the risk.

What is one thing that you can do today to take a step towards the life that you want? Whatever it is, don’t spend too much time thinking about it. Just do it! For me, that means going to out another hole in the wall. Use this link to order the book and I receive a small commission!

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How ‘Do Not Disturb’ Changed My Life

Do Not DisturbThis fun fact is really only for my iPhone readers, although I’m sure there’s a similar function on most smart phones. It probably sounds a little dramatic, but I seriously can’t describe how big of a difference this new discovery has made for me.

As a realtor,  my phone rings literally all the time. If I’m not chatting with a client or lender, an attorney’s office is calling. If I’m not scheduling an inspection or appraisal, someone is texting me about a new listing. (Let’s not even mention emails.) I blow through a full battery in the blink of an eye, but I’m practically always on my phone. This isn’t a complaint…it’s just part of the business that I’m in. (It’s also part of the reason I don’t really get a “day off.”)

What does this really mean though? It means that my phone is still going off when I’m home for the night. It means that during family functions, I can feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. It means that during a meeting with a client, they see my phone going off nonstop, and they feel rushed. None of these things are conducive to a well-balanced, happy life or a successful business. I got 11 texts back to back at 3:00 am once! I do work a lot, but I’m likely sleeping at 3:00 am. My phone has literally rang at all hours of the night. Then, I’m awake with work on the brain, and I can’t go back to sleep. This I how I come to explore the world of do not disturb.

At first, I was hesitant to use this iPhone feature because I was afraid that my mom would need me in the middle of the night or someone would call with an emergency. However, I learned that a call from anyone in your favorites list would come on through. How perfect!

For several months now, I’ve been putting my phone on do not disturb when I get into bed at night. Calls and texts still come through, but I’m not notified. This way, I’m able to sleep peacefully through the night (most of the time) and yet still be able to receive messages that I need to handle the next day.

On a usual day, I switch my phone back to its active mode once I’m done getting ready in the morning. I’ve talked about things that I’ve learned, and one of those is that if I get a call or text early in the morning with something that needs to be handled right away, I immediately start rushing through getting ready and my day starts spiraling out of control. I’ve also learned that being able to get ready in a slow, easy pace is like heaven to me. There’s just something so refreshing to me about being able to take my time getting dressed in the mornings. Almost all of my best days start with this. Therefore, I quickly learned that leaving my phone on do not disturb until I was done getting dressed made a world of difference for how my day developed and my mood. After all, I think it’s best to try to keep work to “work hours” as much as possible. (That means I’m probably not going to text you back at 6:00 am. Honestly, I’m not much of a morning person, so you really don’t want to hear from me that early. You’re welcome!)

I say all of this, not to discourage anyone for reaching out to me at any time. (I don’t get phone notifications for emails, so feel free to send those at any hour!) Instead, this post is about learning what works for you and makes you most productive. I knock out such a tremendous amount of work in the daytime hours, that I know I can limit the late evening and early morning hours for my personal time. I know that my entire day (which in turn means my mood and my ability to help my clients) becomes so much better when I give myself some disconnected time.

I shared the foundation of my productivity method last week, and I’d have to say using do not disturb would be my next big thing. If you struggle to disconnect or carve out time for yourself, you’ll want to give this a try. No one will know that you’re using the feature (calls don’t go straight to voicemail), and you can be in better control of your time. I honestly feel like I’ve been a ton happier and way more productive by using this tool.

What about you? Ever used the do not disturb feature? Have any other tips for ways of limiting your connectivity? I’m all ears!

*Again, of you’re a client or friend of mine, don’t hesitate to reach out to me if needed. I’m nearly always available and if you don’t get me right away, I’ll respond as soon as possible. I’ll just be sleeping (hopefully) during the night time hours. 🙂

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On Taking a Day Off..

Mmm... CoffeeI laid in bed on Christmas Eve morning reading blog posts and drinking coffee, which is basically my favorite thing to do. Truth be told, I don’t get to enjoy this sort of down time very often, so when I do, it feels amazing. (I almost always post something on IG.) The previous week(s) had been so busy that I was pumped about the chance to just rest for a bit before getting up and getting ready for the holiday festivities. I read a post about taking some time off, and it led me to think more about what taking time off means for me.

In 2015, I hope to share more about what the real estate industry is like, and I think this post is a great start. When it comes to taking “a day off,” let me begin by saying that never actually happens. Before you think I’m being a Debbie Downer or complaining about my job, let me be clear….this isn’t a bad thing, and I’m certainly not complaining. The reality of real estate is that your always working. (We’ll talk more about what “work” means for me later.) For a variety of reasons, there’s really no such thing as a day off. I work primarily from my cell phone, so I’m almost always available, even if I’m not at the office. There are probably only one or two times in 2014 that I didn’t do any work on a given day. Owning your own business most often means that you don’t get to leave your work at the office over the weekend or holidays. Instead, work comes home with you and follows you every where you go.

GatlingburgOur trip to Gatlinburg would be somewhat of an example of this. I planned to be completely off for a week. I terribly needed a break after the whirlwind that was May. I forwarded my phone calls to another agent and tried to do as little work as possible while on this vacation. However, I still responded to texts and emails every chance I had and had to handle a mini crisis from afar, that ultimately led to me crying in a restaurant bathroom. Embarrassing, but exhaustion will do that to ya.

The Gatlinburg trip shows how days off go for me in this business (minus the crying usually). I was technically “off” on Christmas Eve, but I had already handled two items of business by 8:30 am. It’s highly likely that I’m still working, even if I’m at home, at the mall, or on vacation. Being able to separate my life from my job can be a tough battle to fight. It’s very, very easy to let your work-life take over your personal-life, especially when you’re a workaholic, like me. I struggled with this a lot in the beginning of my real estate career. Here’s the kicker though…sometimes my work creeps in to my personal time, BUT I get to do my job from practically anywhere!

Working From My BedAt first glance this post probably seems negative. (Read: I can’t ever get away from my work!) However, after a few cases of burnout and tears to my husband, I realized something magical – I can do my job while simultaneously doing other things, giving me a ton of flexibility. Yes, I may never actually get a “day off.” However, I can get my nails done in the middle of the afternoon while simultaneously securing a deal on someone’s dream home. I can leave the office if I’m feeling shut in, and work from my patio instead. How amazing! Yes, I may technically have to do a bit of work on Christmas, but I can likely do so while getting back to my family quickly and easily.

As I sit and reflect on the past year, one of the things that I’m most thankful for is this career. I’m thankful that I took the leap of faith to start a new business (and for my support system who encouraged me). I’m thankful for learning how to really work this business in a manner that suits my needs. I’m thankful for a successful, mind-blowing year and the fruits of my hard work that Matthew and I are enjoying. I’m thankful for how much I’ve learned about this career and making it work for me over this last year. I’m certain that I’ll still struggle with carving out time for myself, but I’ve learned so much about making that happen this year, and I’m looking forward to an even better 2015.

If you’ve ever considered a career in real estate and have questions, I’d be happy to talk to you more about it. It’s a tough industry sometimes, but it’s also one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. There are so many things that I love about this career, and I’m happy to talk to you more about it if you’re interested. Click this link to get more information about the company I work with and feel free to email me!

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