Tag Archives: 2015

On Getting Back Up.

October 19, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Over the course of the last couple of days, I’ve been told that my face was too long, my natural hair color looked better, and that my biological clock is ticking so I’ll probably miss my opportunity to have children. I was also told that one photo that I shared on social media was good while another was “not good of me at all.” Granted, people are often way too giving of information that we don’t necessarily want. However, it’s seems to have been running rampant lately in My Neck of the Woods. I could spend a bit addressing each one of these negative, hurtful comments (and giving you more examples) and discuss why they’re each terrible and add up to create a bit of an insecure monster inside of me. However, that’s not the purpose I have in mind here. Instead, I wanted to talk a bit about pushing through things like this.

If we had a few years and an unlimited supply of Kleenex, I could probably list out practically every mean thing that’s ever been said to me. High school would provide its own chapter in this story, and most of these mean-spirited things will be forever burned into my mind. It’s very likely that you could make a similar list too. For many years, I’ve wondered why people say hurtful things. I’ve wondered why I let them upset me. I’ve often dreamed of a world where everyone only has nice, uplifting things to say and where we all live by that golden rule that says, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” What a joy it would be to live in a world like that! Instead, I feel like I’m constantly seeing instances where people both unintentionally and intentionally say hurtful things. This plays out among peers, in families, and on social media daily. Sometimes, I get so frustrated that I want to yell and cry (and I sometimes do both) and I exclaim generalities like, “people are awful and terrible and I hate them.” I group all people into one nasty category because it seems like I’m often taken back by the nastiness that comes out of their mouths. The most unfortunate of these scenarios is the one in which people close to you repetitively say hurtful things.

That’s not fair of me though. I shouldn’t group everyone together. I shouldn’t generalize. If I were being honest, I also shouldn’t keep this mental list of people who’ve said hurtful things to me. Yet, I do. For example, someone close to me once said that I “needed to get a life” if I had time to blog. I’ll never forget it. I do my best to not dwell on it or harbor resentment, yet I think about that statement every time I hit publish here.

The hardest part about events like these isn’t even the hurt feelings. Unfortunately, I never really forget what’s said or done, and it does add a bit of extra insecurity to my emotional wardrobe. However, I think the worst part is having to muster the courage to keep going. The hardest part is disregarding the negativity and continuing to write blog posts. It’s continuing to share that photo of myself, even though I can quickly identify the flaws that others have pointed out to me. It’s the struggle to be excited about my new car, when people close to me make comments about how I must want to “keep up with the Jones.”

You see, life is full to the brim of hurt and disappointment. It takes on a lot of different forms, and we all experience it. As I started reading a book given to me by my lovely assistant, I realized this very thing might be my struggle. The thing I need to work on right now might be perseverance. I may not be as afraid of falling, as I am of getting back up. You see, continuing to do something that someone has criticized, even subtly, is very hard for me. My first instinct when my feelings are hurt is to abandon the thing or person in question. Don’t like my Facebook photo? Ok, I’ll never post on Facebook again. Think blogging is lame? Ok, I’ll make it a private blog and only invite in those that won’t hurt me with their comments. It’s pushing through that fear of continuing that’s immensely frightening for me. It’s getting back up when I’ve been knocked down by those around me. It’s certainly easier to just stay down. It’s a lot less scary to just fly under the radar. Sometimes I think that I should just live small and not go after big dreams, so that I’m not a target of criticism. It’s sad that the thought crosses my mind more than it should.

Unfortunately, I won’t wrap up this post with a list of tips for avoiding this sort of thing. I won’t concede with a story of how I figured it out and how you can too. Instead, I know that I’ll continue to struggle in this area. I’ll continue to want to stay down when my feelings are hurt. I’ll continue to want to mark people off the list when they hurt me. I’ll probably always wear my feelings on my sleeve. However, the moral is that we must continue to get back up, even when we’re hurt and afraid. We have to continue to live our lives as boldly as we can dream of. For me, it usually won’t be evident to the average acquaintance. Most likely, the exterior will appear thick and impenetrable. I’ll appear strong and resilient. On the inside though, I’m probably making a mental list of the stones being thrown at me. It’s a list that I’ll keep forever and review over and over again in my head, all too often dwelling on the damage they’ve caused. Some leave lifelong scars. Others are more temporary bruises. Either way, I must get back up again and continue the fight.

“The truth is falling hurts. The dare is to keep bring brave and feel your way back up.” Brene Brown

(Similar thoughts here if you’re interested.)

8 Comments Inspiration & Thoughts 2015 - inspiration - What I've Learned

Living Room Inspiration: Pink + Black & White

October 15, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I have recently fallen in love with this look that I’ve seen popping up around the internet. I’m loving it so much so that I’m thinking of abandoning my previous plans for my living room and heading this direction instead. I should probably go ahead and admit that I often create a “new plan” for a space and then simultaneously move on to something else before I ever even make that first plan a reality.

I have been planning to paint the fireplace wall in our living room and add wood from the mantle to the ceiling. I’ve been searching for a new coffee table and I intended to buy a new cowhide rug for underneath. Before this, I was going to replace the hodge-podge of colors I’ve been using with black/cream/mint/gold. This look never made it from my head to the room and it looks like my most recent plan might not either. That being said, this photo (and this and this) is a sample of the look that I’m most excited about right now – black and white with a touch of pink. I first saw the look on @katekillsit‘s Instagram. Since then, I’ve been drawn to every similar photo.

I’ve never been much of a pink girl. However, these bright pink rugs paired with black, white, and gold have really be catching my attention lately. I stumbled upon a few similar rugs at a furniture store in Dallas recently and I’m really considering jumping ship from my most recent décor plan. Our gray sectional takes up most of the room, so you will really only see a small portion of the rug. Nonetheless, I’m thinking that this little touch of pink might add some personality. Right now, our living room is the equivalent of talking to the guy at the party whose main interest is spreadsheets. I’d much rather it be like talking to the world-traveled artist who lived in Uganda for a bit. A pink rug would most likely transition the room from Boring Bill to Racy Raul, right??

For now, here’s what I’m thinking:

Bold rug, probably in the dark pink family
Black fireplace wall
White wood above the fireplace
Gold curtain rod with white flowy curtains
A collection of fun pillows (or all black & white)
Something fun and bold above the mantle (I’m seriously considering a picture of a goat.)
Lots of gold accents
Bold, fun light fixture

Clearly, I could just as quickly abandon this idea as I’ve abandoned the last few. I may even stick with the cowhide instead of the pink patterned rug…depending on what I can find. Even if these plans alter a bit, my goal is still to create a space that screams, “I’m perfectly put together, yet very fun.” The intention is that you’ll want to talk to my living room at a party…not that other silly room that picks his nose when he thinks no one is looking.

If you’d like to see more of my living room inspiration, check out my Pinterest board!

(Photo by Kate Mills.)

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Joyce’s Journey: Knee Replacement + Cancer Update

October 12, 2015 Pamela Stephens

We’ve had a few developments in Joyce’s Journey lately, so I thought I’d share a quick update. Over the summer, Mom had a full knee replacement on her left knee. The surgery was done in July and within no time she was doing way better than average. The physical therapists were very impressed with how quickly she was able to really use the knee and released her from therapy earlier than usual. We had a follow up with the doctor a week ago, and he insisted that her x-rays could be used in a text book, showing exactly how the process is intended to go. She is using the knee wonderfully!

We also switched her cancer care to Louisiana Oncology this month. (This is the clinic where Matthew works and it’s much more convenient for Mom.) She was very pleased with the new doctor, Dr. Gallagher, and is excited to feel at home in the new clinic. It’s been right at two years since her cancer diagnosis and one year and six months since the surgery. Her blood work came back wonderfully this week and the doctor said he sees nothing of concern right now in terms of recurrent cancer. Of course, we’ll always have to monitor things closely. However, her tumor marker was a glorious 2.5 this month. (It was 4.5 in May and anything under 5 is considered “normal.”) Seeing how far the tumor marker has dropped was a reason to celebrate in itself!

As of right now, Mom’s biggest obstacle to overcome is her back pain. We’ve recently discovered that the pain stems from scoliosis, arthritis in her back, and probably osteoporosis. There’s not really much that can be done about the condition of her back. However, we’re hoping to find some ways to manage the pain within the next few weeks.

All in all, things are looking wonderful! It’s quite amazing to think about everything that’s happened in just two short years, and I’m happy that we’re mainly fighting your average battles these days, not those hefty ones. If you’re new to Mom’s story, you can click the “Joyce’s Journey” tag below to follow a bit of the story. Thank you to everyone who has followed along and continually sent prayers and thoughts our way. It’s been most encouraging and my entire family appreciates your support!

This photo was taken as she zoomed through Wal-Mart shortly after the knee surgery. Hide your babies.

Leave a comment Inspiration & Thoughts 2015 - cancer - family - Joyce's Journey

Clutter + the KonMari Method

October 8, 2015 Pamela Stephens

My quest to reduce clutter began when Matthew and I married in 2012. We had both lived on our own for quite some time, so in essence we were combining two full households. There were basically two of everything and to fit in our quaint rent house, we had to pare down. In addition to having doubles of things, it was also evident that Matthew had way less stuff than what I’d accumulated and that made me feel a little self conscious.

You see, I had an addiction to keeping everything. After doing a bit of self-exploration, I realized that most of this tendency came from a fear of not having what I needed. I was afraid that if I got rid of something and needed it later, I wouldn’t have the money or ability to replace it. I’ve also experienced my fair share of losing loved ones. This caused me to have boxes and boxes of sentimental items that I simply must keep because they originally belonged to someone that I loved. The reality is, most of these things were just given to me, not things that I actually chose for a reason. Shortly after Matthew and I were married, I purged so many things. We had an epic garage sale and the result made me feel pretty good about myself and our home.

My second voyage towards a clutter-free home came when we bought the new house. Even though I’d purged quite a bit from the rent house, there was still so much extra. When we moved, I was determined to not fill this new house with extras. The tall ceilings and ample windows made me really want an open, airy, and tidy home. We had another garage sale and donated so many things. I considered it great progress.

After these two large purges (and several small ones), things were looking up. There wasn’t nearly as much stuff, yet there was still more than we needed or used. Then, I picked up Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Honestly, I did this primarily out of curiosity. The internet acted like this book was indeed life-changing and I read about it everywhere I turned. I figured that I’d read the book, maybe pick up a few new tricks, and then go on about my life. Instead, reading this book prompted one of the biggest purges of my entire life and has completely changed how I look at things in my home.

First, I immediately tackled my closet. Even though I’d thinned quite a bit in the other purges, I was still hanging on to so much extra clothing. My approach was to either hold on to it because “I might wear it again” or because “I’d not gotten my money’s worth out of it.” Therefore, even though I’d thinned and thinned, I still had a closet full of things I didn’t love or feel fantastic in. I had mentioned some tips for cleaning out your closet before, yet I still had so much extra that I “might wear under something one day.”

After just a few chapters of this book, I was filling garbage bag after garbage bag of items. It was like something clicked and finally gave me permission to get rid of those things I didn’t really want to keep anyway. Kondo’s approach is to take every single item that you own into your hand and ask yourself if it brings you joy. If it does not, then it’s just taking up space and it’s time to get rid of it. This approach alone was responsible for me purging over five large bags of clothing and shoes and 200+ writing utensils.

Not only has Kondo’s book helped me to make serious headway in a curated home, it’s also changed my approach to shopping. I no longer by things that I just barely like because it’s on sale or a good price. Instead, sometimes I pay a little bit more for things that I love. Overall, I’m spending less money and not bringing as many extra things into my home. Because of this book, I have a new outlook on how easy it is to have a clutter-free home full of only things that you love. If you’re even slightly concerned about having a home that you’re proud of, I recommend the book. It’s a no-nonsense approach to tidiness and you’re guaranteed to find at least a bit of insight as you read along.

Another way that I’ve been able to create a much more tidy home is by actually using my sentimental items. Rather than continuing to store box after box full of miscellaneous sentimental items, I got rid of the things that meant nothing to me and am now actually using the others. (There are still a few boxes of these items in the attic that I’m prepared to cull.) I read somewhere that our grandmothers would much rather us actually use their old wedding China than have it stored in a box in the attic where we never even see it. The risk of breaking a plate is worth it for the years of memories we’ll create using those plates and thinking of our grandmothers. Those family quilts should be draped across our couches and used for family movie nights instead of stuffed away in clear containers in the closet. You should wear your mother’s pearls instead of just seeing them in the jewelry box occasionally. I wish I could find the link to that post to share with you, because reading this made me realize that I was just storing things instead of using them. Even if a quilt becomes more tattered or a plate gets broken, I’d still rather have the memories with those items rather than my home being a storage unit for things we don’t touch. Beginning to use my sentimental items alone has contributed to less cluttered storage space, and using those items brings me joy now rather than the sadness I used to feel when opening a box and being flooded with forgotten memories.

There are a million and one strategies that you can use to reduce the clutter in your home and we can all have different approaches. Whatever method you use, I know that you’ll feel like a new person as you reduce the clutter because I certainly have. I found that by having less things stuffed in my home, I get to actually live rather than spending all of my time working on my things. There’s less to put away. We don’t need as big of a house. I don’t have to spend entire weekends trying to get things back in order. And most importantly for me, I don’t loathe putting away my laundry as much as I once did. Instead, I can tidy quickly and easily and the rest of my time can be spent exploring new hobbies or spending time with family and friends. There are still some areas and closets that I hope to tackle. However, the progress I’ve already made feels amazing.

Keep in mind that I’ve been working towards this goal for three years now, so don’t feel like you have to tackle everything in one weekend. Instead, start in one little area and do a bit as you can. And be sure to read the book. It very well could change your life.

*The earrings pictured above belonged to my great aunt and I wear them often.*

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Beach Trip 2015

October 5, 2015 Pamela Stephens

It had been three years since I’d been to a beach and seven years since I’d been somewhere with my very best friends. I had been looking forward to that quick trip for months. I couldn’t wait to laugh and joke and reminisce. You see, these are my girls. These are my ride or die…the chicks I’d do anything for and fight for without reason. They’re the ones with which I say anything and am my true self. As we age, I don’t see them nearly enough and the chance to spend just a few short days with them was a dream come true.

The agenda was simple – nothing was on the agenda. All of us wanted nothing more than to just sit. We wouldn’t wear makeup and washing your hair was optional. We even picked up a few groceries to have at the condo so we didn’t even have to get dressed to go eat. It was funny because we each remarked over how much different this trip was than the last one we took. Actually, it’s rather amazing how much things can change in just seven years.

As I sat along the beach, I thought about what makes this place so lovely. I love the cool breeze blowing so that it’s warm but still cool enough to be comfortable. I love the sound of the waves crashing on to the beach; it’s just loud enough to mask most of the other nearby sounds. It’s as if you’re in your own little world even though other people are all around. The chance to sit and just be and the chance to read or reminisce are all reasons to love this place.

I definitely don’t just sit enough. Instead, I’m always working towards something. Even if I’m “off,” I’m thinking or planning for the next big thing. Sitting and reading without a purpose and chatting for hours with my best friends are not activities that I get to enjoy often. The chance to decompress and reconnect with my friends was much appreciated. As I drove home from this lovely weekend, I realized how rested and relaxed I felt. As much as I think I “rest,” I realized that I don’t actually rest near enough. This weekend with my friends was rest.

I wish I could share with you exciting descriptions of the adventures we took. However, unless you’d like to hear about how many times I laughed during Mindy Kaling’s — or excessive, flowery details about what a nap on the beach is like, then I don’t really have much to share. I could tell you how lovely it is to not even pull your makeup from its case for an entire weekend. I could stretch the truth and say that my wild, untamed hair looked like perfect, magazine-worthy beach waves. (That would be the case for Amanda. Me? Not so much.) Instead, I’ll just say that it was a fantastic trip full of ample R&R and lots of laughs for everyone. Realizing that seven years passed all too quickly without this time together, we made a commitment to do this annually from now on. It’s good for everyone and let’s face it…these are my girls and I love them.

Until next year…

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October Goals

October 1, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I feel a tad weird jotting down October goals because isn’t it like July?? October is Halloween and almost Thanksgiving…which leads right to Christmas…and I feel like there’s no possible way that it’s time for all of that. My Google calendar hasn’t let me down yet though, so I suppose it is indeed October 1.

In all honesty, I struggled a bit to set goals for this month. It felt hard to wrap my mind around the time of year and what I’d like to accomplish right now. These are the relatively simple items that I decided on.

Finish two books. I’ve started reading again lately and I’ve decided that I really enjoy it when it’s something within the categories I mentioned here. This month, I hope to finish two books, one of which I’m already a good ways in to. I’ll likely have to give up a bit of Instagram and Pinterest time to make this happen. *gasp* Hopefully the weather will turn cooler and a fuzzy blanket will be involved too.
Attempt a capsule wardrobe. I’ve seen this wardrobe approach for some time now and it felt much too big of a task for me to accomplish. I just had too many clothes. Since I’ve pared down my closet so much lately, I’m thinking about giving it a whirl. I don’t feel pressured to get down to the exact number of recommended items, so I’m thinking of trying the approach somewhat loosely for now. Making a plan and consciously choosing the clothes I wear seems like a fun and rewarding task.
Buy one light fixture. I found several light fixtures that I liked after the sink situation and I haven’t ordered a single one. Actually making the commitment and purchasing one feels scary to me. However, I’m going to make it a point to order at least one this month!
Burn more candles. I have tendency of saving the “nice” candles for a special occasion. This means I have a drawer of candles that I hardly use. This month, I want to burn them in celebration of the average day!
Make progress in our new office. We’re been working on turning our guest room into a guest room/home office. We made a ton of progress right at first and I’ve somewhat stalled out. My goal isn’t to finish it this month. However, I hope to make a tiny amount of progress.

Interested in knowing how I did on last months’ goals? Well, wait no longer!

I was 100% present for girl time! I got to see both my Tennessee cousin and my two best friends this month! For both events, I worked very, very little and focused on spending quality time with them. I loved getting this opportunity and look forward to doing it again very soon.
I didn’t necessarily complete 2-3 house projects, although I did get several small things done around the house. I could stretch reality a bit and say that I made 2 or 3 big and wonderful things happen. While I did make some progress here and there, it wasn’t the 2 or 3 big items that I’d hoped for. Lesson Learned: I need to be more intentional about my house progress. It’s not going to happen on its own.
I did review my 2015 goals and I’m happy to report that I’ve made progress on more of them that I thought! Even though I’d decided to focus on just one goal, I’ve made a bit of unintentional progress on several of the others. That’s great news!

September was a great, relaxing month for me, which I’m very happy about. I’m also looking forward to October because I’m hoping that any day now there will be a cool breeze lingering about. Fingers crossed for a cozy, easy-going, spectacular month for us all!

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I Need A Hobby

September 28, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I read a post about having a hobby while coming back from a quick trip to Baton Rouge. (I wasn’t driving obviously.) It struck a bit of a cord with me and also explained a bit about how I’ve been working to redesign my life lately. It put some things into perspective and gave me the permission I needed to do some things differently.

The post talked about how necessary it is for everyone to have a hobby. I’m sure most people would agree with that without really thinking much about it. The post took it a bit further though. A hobby should be something we do just for fun, relaxation, or personal enjoyment. It shouldn’t be a side job or anything that’s done to enhance a resume, make more money, or accomplish any larger purpose. Talk about perspective. You see, I feel like I have to have a reason for everything. I feel like every minute of my day must be used in a way that accomplishes some goal. I often even feel guilty about having downtime. I should be working towards something.

After reading this post, I decided to cut myself some slack on that. This blog currently falls into the hobby category. I started it as a hobby and an excuse to write and if I’m not careful, it could easily turn into something much different. Right now I’m still writing and sharing posts based on what I want to write about and share with readers. However, I can so very easily switch to creating content that’s more pinnable and shareable. I can so easily feel tempted to write things for the sole purpose of adding numbers to my analytics. If I’m not careful, this blog could very easily switch from being a hobby/outlet for me to another business venture. Over the last few months I’ve felt guilty about not wanting this space to grow exponentially and be the biggest and baddest blog of all time. I’ve felt like I’m selling myself short for not carefully selecting my content and only sharing magazine-worthy photos. I’ve felt like I had to want to make this blog a business (or at least a funnel to my other businesses) and it’s just now that I realized that I don’t have to do that and I certainly don’t have to feel guilty about it. My Neck of the Woods can continue to be just a hobby for me and that is 100% ok.

I can also play tennis. At times since starting this tennis journey, I’ve felt insanely guilty about the time it occupies. There are times that I play or take lessons early in the morning, making my work day start a tad later than usual. I’ve felt guilty for that. Some days I schedule other activities around tennis and I’ve felt guilty for that too. Matthew and I have adjusted our evening routine a bit to play together in the evenings, and I’ve felt uncertain about changing our schedule around. After reading this post, I realize that the reason I’ve felt so uncertain (and slightly secretive) about this tennis adventure is because it’s not accomplishing anything. I’m not doing it with a big goal in mind or a plan of action. However, I love to learn new things, really enjoy the game of tennis, and absolutely want an active lifestyle. Tennis is purely a hobby for me and I deserve that.

My husband is one that attempts (and often abandons shortly after) many different hobbies. When he becomes interested in something, he tries it. He does this with no agenda in mind. He attempts something new and once he feels he’s explored it enough, he moves on to something else. While the details of this approach on hobbies are one of the main things that drive me crazy about him, I’m also a bit jealous of his approach. He tries new things regularly and simultaneously abandons them when he’s no longer interested. As we’ve talked about his hobbies numerous times, he’s mentioned that I should try a hobby. I thought that I had plenty of hobbies. However, I’m realizing that most of the items I considered a “hobby,” actually had some sort of hidden agenda or intention.

Since stumbling upon this post, I’ve given myself the freedom to do things without a greater purpose in mind. Not all of my activities have to propel me towards a greater goal, and I can benefit greatly from giving myself a bit more freedom. Tennis is a current hobby and so is this blog. I can and will continue to do these things just because. I don’t have to justify them to myself or to others. If you don’t have a true hobby, I encourage you to think about what sorts of things you’re interested in. Find something to do that’s not done to make money or accomplish any sort of goal. Spend some time doing something you’re interested in, just because you want to. I deserve it and so do you.

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Kitchen Before and After + A Stenciled Wall

September 24, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I bit the bullet and showed a house tour showing where we are in renovations a few weeks ago. One of the rooms that I’m most happy with and seems to have shown the largest transformation is our kitchen. When we were house shopping, the natural light pouring in to this area is one of the things that sold me on the home. It wasn’t my dream kitchen, yet it was 1,000x better than the kitchen we had in our rent house. Today, I’m sharing the progress of what we’ve already done and what we hope to do later. I hope you enjoy!

The first thing we did in the home was have the popcorn ceilings scraped and every. single. thing. repainted. As you can see in the before photos, the house was done in all warm tones which is the complete opposite of what I prefer. For the kitchen, I chose a light gray for the bottom cabinets and the ceiling and white for the top cabinets and walls. (Full disclosure: when I chose the colors, I thought the countertops were primarily gray. Turns out that the primary color is tan, so I’m working to mix the colors somehow.) I painted the walls white because I really wanted to enhance the brightness of this room. It’s true that people spend a lot of their time in the kitchen, so I wanted it to be as bright and happy as possible.

At the last minute, I also asked the painters to slap a coat of paint on that tile backsplash. Most people think we replaced the tile, and we didn’t…that’s just a coat of white paint. It made a HUGE difference. We had plans to redo the backsplash, and I didn’t know exactly when that would be. It turns out that about 100 other projects were more important than a new backsplash, so I’m so glad I thought to paint it for now. The paint has held up tremendously and we’ve had no trouble with the coverup. Have an ugly tile backsplash you don’t like? I’d suggest trying some paint before spending the time and money to replace it.

One day this summer I woke up and decide to stencil a wall. I saw this wall and thought it would be perfect in my kitchen. I had been tossing around the idea of a fun wallpaper there and I decided the painted pattern would be quicker and easier to undo if we didn’t like it. The process was rather simple. I made a stencil from foam board and traced it with pencil on the wall. I do recommend tracing with pencil first because if you’re like me, a little bit of slightly off spacing would drive me insane. After I had the pattern set, I used a Liquitex pen in Neutral Gray 5 to freehand over the pencil lines. It took two pens to complete this project and I think that may have been because the first pen didn’t work quite as well as the second. Our walls are a bit bumpy (for lack of a better word) from the texture that’s on them, which made this project a bit more difficult. It’s very hard to draw a straight line over a bumpy surface. I didn’t even consider this at first, so if you’re thinking about doing something similar, you might want to consider the texture on your walls. If they are indeed textured, I wouldn’t avoid the project. Instead, just be prepared for a more organic look.

Is this wall perfect? Not at all. Are the lines straight? Hardly. Do I still love it? Yes. One of my new Instagram friends often talks about being a “recovering perfectionist.” That’s me! A previous version of myself would not have been able to live with the inconsistencies in this project. The new version can step a few feet back and agree that it looks just fine. Actually, I almost quit and painted over it after the first two lines. My lines weren’t straight and it was very hard to get a steady flow of paint from the pen because of the wall texture. However, I decided to keep going. I decided to see what the entire wall looked like before giving up, and I’m glad that I did! (Tip: If you need to erase any pencil lines, try using a Lysol wipe. It worked so much better than an actual eraser!)

After the wall, I hung those gray stripe curtains from Ikea and ordered that print from Etsy. Another change that I made to make our kitchen more functional is hanging the oven mitts there directly on the wall. They’re much easier to access there and it just works better. Now all that’s missing is an adorable Anthropologie apron! If you’re thinking of doing a similar wall, I say go for it! If you hate it, all you have to do is paint over it. No harm, no foul. If you decide to give it a whirl, tag me on Instagram. I’d love to see your projects!

For the breakfast area, Matthew was going to make a window seat and then I remembered that I had this amazing bench in storage. It fits there PERFECTLY and has a bit of a story to tell. Right after Matthew and I were officially a couple, we went on a bit of a treasure hunting trip with my mom and sister. We found this gem at an antique store and scooped it right up. The intention was to sell it at Salt & Pepper, yet I started having trouble parting with it. Finally, I moved it to my office and then brought it with me when I sold the store. I love it here in the breakfast nook and it’s a nice reminder of the beginning of our journey together. The table was handed down to us from Matthew’s grandmother and the chairs are a temporary solution from IKEA. (It turns out that it’s hard to find chairs for this height of a table.) To the side of this breakfast area is an old catalog recovered from the family business, TP Outdoors, and it holds all sorts of goodies.

Just changing the paint and floors alone, made a tremendous difference. (More about the floors here.) I honestly had forgotten how far we’d come until I looked at these photos side by side. I spent a bit of time being paralyzed by the amount of work that was needed and I’m happy to be coming out of that. I’ve recently found the courage to try some new things, even if I’m not 100% sure about them. Things feel like they’re coming together around here and I love that.

For now, what’s left in the kitchen remodel is a new light fixture, new appliances, and possibly new cabinet doors. I also still need cabinet knobs. I ordered some after the sink fiasco and they didn’t look as good as I’d hoped. Eventually we’ll have knobs. Maybe.

This is our kitchen progress in a nutshell. We’ve done a lot and it feels nice. We’ll continue to do more as time and funds allow. Maybe it’s the promise of fall creeping in or maybe it’s just the passing of time. Regardless of the reason, I’m happy to be feeling more at home here. Some of our larger projects are hopefully just around the corner too, so it’ll be even better soon!

Leave a comment Home - Our First House #mapfirsthouse - 2015 - DIY

My Favorite Tech Products…from a Non-Techy

September 21, 2015 Pamela Stephens

There’s no doubt that this is a digital age and in my line of business, technology makes a world of difference. With the exception of actually showing homes, the rest of my job can be done from practically anywhere with cell service and an Internet connection. I’m not going to talk about the actual real estate related technology that I use in this post. However, I thought it would be fun to share some of the more universal products and systems that I use. These items can be translated into almost any industry or lifestyle, and I thought it might be fun to show a bit of how I work/get things done.

The first thing that I absolutely couldn’t live without is my cell phone. I often joke that I wouldn’t have been able to sell real estate in the “old days.” Seriously…having to actually be at the office to take a phone call or driving across town to pick up a house key??! No way. In all seriousness, having the opportunity to communicate remotely makes a world of difference. I am able to take care of business from wherever I am and it saves me a ton of time. (Thinking about buying or selling a house? Text me!) I currently have an iPhone 5, and I could definitely use an update. I’ve been waiting not-so-patiently for the new release and preordered my new one this week. The struggle has been real. There are a few reasons why I love my iPhone for business. It syncs well with my devices and has apps aplenty for the various services I need. Undoubtedly, you could use a different type of phone. For now though, I’m still an Apple girl.

My next favorite item is my Surface Pro 3. (I purchased the i3 processor.) This is my only home computer and it works great for carrying along on trips or to client appointments. The main reason that I love this device is because it’s super thin and lightweight. It’s likely not going to have the capacity to operate larger, more complex systems. However, it works perfectly for a large amount of web work and navigating various files. It can be used in tablet or desktop mode and I love the flexibility it offers. I also added the Surface Pro keyboard which makes it operate much like a desktop computer. If you carry a computer with you frequently, I highly recommend the Surface Pro over a traditional laptop. (Also, I love this new case!) (Link)

This fantastic little mouse. Matthew really wanted this little guy when we were mouse shopping. (That’s a real thing, didn’t you know??) It is most definitely the most expensive mouse I’ve ever purchased. However, it’s also the coolest. My favorite thing about the Flex mouse is that it completely flattens for traveling purposes. How great!

My iPad. I entered iPad land with the original, full-sized iPad. Sometime last year I purchased an iPad mini and I’ve loved it ever since. I like the size of the mini much better for traveling and for leisure use. It also weighs a lot less which is great for sticking in my purse. I use this iPad both in a personal nature (Hello, Pinterest.), as well as for pulling up houses and handling contracts on the go.

At home, I have an Epson Workforce WF-3620 printer. The reason I chose this option for home was because it was the smaller of the versions that offered the features I needed. Primarily, I needed to be able to print on legal paper, and I wanted the option to scan items straight to my email. (I’m looking at you, real estate contracts.) Having this feature makes it much easier for me to handle business from both home and my office. I save tons of time this way.

My office computer is a Dell All-in-One and I also love it. (Although, I don’t remember exactly which one it is.) It moves quickly and I love the lack of space it requires. My office isn’t the largest room of them all, so I’m thankful that this computer takes up less space. I haven’t noticed any difference in its capabilities from a regular desktop, so I’m satisfied. Again though, most of my work is done in basic software programs and online. I can’t guarantee that either the all-in-one or the Surface Pro would work as well for larger programs. You might want to do some more research if that’s what you need it for.

The most important machine of them all is the coffee maker. Actually, it probably makes me the most productive! It doesn’t matter which kind you use, just be sure you have coffee available. Lots and lots of coffee.

These are the basic items that I use on a daily basis. They are what keep things moving along as efficiently as possible. If you’ve been researching new products, these might be a good place to start. I’ve thoroughly been pleased with all of the above.

What items do you use to be most productive? Is there something you couldn’t live without? I’d love to hear details!

Leave a comment Business 2015 - Business - real estate

Moonstone Farm

September 17, 2015 Pamela Stephens

As silly as it sounds, stopping by this little farm was one of the highlights of our trip for me. It was just behind the campground we were staying in, and Matthew’s grandmother had made friends with the owners. On our last day there, she insisted that we pop in and take a look.

At first glance, it looks just like any other small farm. There aren’t acres and acres of vegetation and an abundance of large equipment lurking about. Instead, it’s a few rows of this and that here and there. There’s a small shed right up front where the owner is working away. Turns out, she’s packing boxes for her subscription clients. Moonstone Farm offers a monthly subscription where locals can purchase a box of whatever the farm has ready at that time. The owner drives the packages into Anchorage where buyers pick up a box of fresh, home-grown goodies. I think that’s phenomenal.

Further into the property, you come across a field of the most beautiful flowers you’ve ever seen. In addition to fruits and vegetables, they also grow and sell flowers to a local flower shop. This is where I took one of my favorite photos from the trip. As I stood gazing at these gorgeous flowers nestled just beneath the Alaskan mountains, I realized something. At first, I expected this place to be a traditional farm – one raising corn or peas or beans. Not even minutes into our tour, I’d already been blown away by a subscription system and a field of flowers. In that moment, I was reminded that not everything has to fit in a nice, neat package. Even a farm can take on a million different faces, so anything else in life could too. We don’t have to firmly be one thing or another. We can be a combination of the things most suitable to us.

After hesitantly leaving the flower field, we walked on around to the chicken coop. The owners’ granddaughter excitedly pulled me further into the backyard to show me her cat and the baby chicks. She could hardly contain her excitement as she told me about them and showed me little tricks for doing this and that. I must say, watching those baby chicks line up for a photo was quite entertaining. As I sat and listened to story after story from her, I realized how important it is to let children be a part of the things we do. It was evident how much she’d learned from her grandparents and you could see that she was eager to learn more.

We stood and talked with the family for a bit longer and although I was listening, it was hard not to get swept up in my surroundings. I wanted to sit there for hours gazing out at the simplicity of this lifestyle. I could imagine myself sipping coffee on their porch, overlooking the vegetables growing out front. I imagined enjoying that view of the mountains while tending the flowers. I felt the cool breeze and envisioned what the winters must feel like. It made me long for a similar lifestyle, even though I knew it was only temporary.

Matthew and I would be returning home later that day, and that reality sank in as we walked away. I was, of course, happy to return home for many reasons. Although, I knew I’d miss this place. I’d miss the limited cell phone service and mild temperatures of the Alaskan summer. I’d miss the clean, crisp air and the beautiful views surrounding you every where you went. I’d miss a simpler life with easy going days filled with adventure. It was as we walked away from this little farm that I confirmed something I’d thought since we arrived — I want to make it a point to travel more. I want to be sure I see the world and experience all the things. I also knew that I wanted to start making some changes to my daily life back home. I wanted things to be simpler and more relaxed. It was at that point that I started making plans to ever so slightly alter the trajectory of where my life was headed.

I tell this story not to make anyone jealous of exciting Alaskan adventures or quaint little farms. Instead, I tell this story to show that we can design the life that we want to live. If something doesn’t feel quite right or if you find yourself longing for something different, go after that thing. Make little changes here and there so that you life looks how you want it to. The months since I’ve been home from Alaska have looked very different than the months before. It’s not because I made any radical changes. Instead, I altered a few things just enough to feel a difference in my life. Most likely, no one can even notice a difference from the outside. Nonetheless, sometimes the smallest of changes can make a gigantic difference.

The fact of the matter is, there’s nothing that we can’t do in this lifetime. Sometimes it’s about altering the big ideas such that they fit into our current lives, or sometimes it’s about going for that big dream to make it a reality. Whichever is better suited for you, do it! I definitely don’t have a beautiful farm back in Monroe, Louisiana. However, I do have a simpler life that gives me some of the same feelings I felt at Moonstone Farm. And I didn’t have to move mountains to accomplish that. What small thing can you do today to make you life just a little bit better? I encourage you to really think about that and see what you might can do to create a life that you love.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m incredibly thankful for the opportunity to have had this Alaskan adventure. The trip to this farm made me look at my daily life a little differently and I’m just as thankful for that nudge as I am for the chance to see some different scenery. You can read the overview of our trip here.

4 Comments Travel #mapinalaska - 2015 - travel