Sometimes I read.

July 24, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Let’s be honest. I should really change the title of this post to, “I’ve read a few things.” As a child, I was a big reader. I loved Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley High, Nancy Drew mysteries, and even RL Stine books. (My fellow almost-thirty-somethings are probably nodding in nostalgia to these book titles.) My mom would take me to the library where I’d check out several books at once, often finishing at least one by the end of that day. Somewhere along the line though, I decided that I “didn’t like to read” and avoided it at all costs for several years.

I think what happened though, was that I had changed. Rather than not liking to read anymore, my tastes were just different. At some point during the last two years when I’ve learned so much, I also learned that it’s not that I don’t like to read. Instead, I just have different preferences now. For example, I’ve learned that at this particular time, I’m not really a fiction kind of gal. As fabulously written as the Hunger Games or Harry Potter stories might have been, I don’t really enjoy having to follow along with a story that I know in the back of my mind is fake. (I completely understand that most will disagree with me here. No problem. As my friend, Amy Poehler says, “Good for you. Not for me.” — See what I did there??)

I realized that I did actually like to read biographies and self-help type books. At first I couldn’t understand this. I “don’t like to read,” remember? Finally, I noticed the issue. I don’t mind reading someone’s story. I also don’t mind reading something that gives me strategies for living a better life or makes me more self-aware. Those things interest me, and I can get behind them. It’s not that I no longer like to read…I just had to focus on reading things that interested me instead of reading mainstream fiction.

Since I’m back on the reading bandwagon, I’ve read a few books. Go ahead…you can clap for me if you’d like. A few of these books have been great ones, so I thought I’d share. I posted about finishing The Nesting Place, my first book to actually finish since I could remember. Here’s a quick look at the other books I’ve read lately. (That even feels weird typing it out.)

Yes Please by Amy Poehler

If it’s not obvious by the joke above, I’m a pretty big fan of Amy Poehler. When I heard that my dear friend, Amy, was coming out with a book, I knew that I’d have to get back on the reading bandwagon. This is actually what clued me in to the fact that I like biographies. To say that I loved this book, would be an understatement. Maybe it’s because I secretly think Amy and I are friends. Maybe it’s because I laughed out loud while reading on my couch. Maybe it’s because funny is my love language. Whatever the reason, I’ll likely read this one again at some point. If you even remotely like Amy, comedy, or laughing, you should read it.

I highlighted several parts of the book and came away with several “life lessons.” As mentioned above, I’ve taken on “Good for you. Not for me.” as a bit of a personal mantra. When feeling like I “should” do something or be better at something, I think about this line. It’s what prompted some of my thoughts in this post. We don’t have to do everything. Instead, let’s just do what we want to and what we’re good at.

I was also thoroughly impressed with the amount of grace and professionalism with which Amy spoke of her divorce. It wasn’t sugarcoated or romanticized. It was straightforward and honest, yet respectful. Two thumbs up from me for handling an undoubtedly sensitive topic with such poise.

Seriously, go read this book. You’ll thank me later. And if you don’t like it, then you and I probably can’t be friends.

Bossypants by Tina Fey

Even though Tina’s book came out before Amy’s, I hadn’t read it. Amy referred to Bossypants throughout her book, so after successfully finishing it, I moved on to this one. It was actually a gift from my sweet cousin. I wouldn’t say that I was quite as engaged as I was through Yes Please, yet it was still an enjoyable read.

My friend Amanda and I have decided that we’re a Tina/Amy duo. She’s Tina and I’m Amy. I’m more likely to burst into a crowd and do something outrageous to get a laugh. I’m going to air on the obnoxious side and demand a bit more attention, much like Amy. Amanda on the other hand, will subtly make a hilarious joke that you didn’t see coming. She’s going to be a bit more reserved and quiet, yet will surprise you with her wit and confidence, much like Tina. I believe this is the reason that she preferred Bossypants and I preferred Yes Please. I also think that this is the reason that the four of us should hang out soon. Call me, Amy!

Regardless of which comedic heroin you prefer, I’d recommend both books. I learned a lot about the comedy industry and the behind-the-scenes of both Tina and Amy’s lives, and I loved that.

Girl Boss by Sophia Amoruso

This book wins all of the awards in my book. (“In my book”….in a blog post about books…) It’s possible that I loved this book so much because of my own experience in the retail world. I loved Sophia’s no-nonsense writing style and her make-it-happen approach to business. I also felt a connection to her desire to be different and defy the odds. Probably because I love a good from-the-ground-up story, I really enjoyed reading about how she built her business from a small, garage operation to the huge success that it is today. I started this one on the flight to Alaska and finished it before heading back. The timing for this one was perfect, and I highly recommend it to anyone who’s business minded or relates to powerful, determined women.

“Being mean won’t make you cool, being rich won’t make you cool, and having the right clothes, while it may help, won’t make you cool. It’s cool to be kind. It’s cool to be weird. It’s cool to be honest and to be secure with yourself. Cool is the girl at the party who strikes up a conversation with you when she notices you don’t seem to know many people there.” -Sophia Amoruso

There have been a few more books that I’ve started and not finished. I think it’s safe to say that you have to get me invested early on, or I’ll likely not pick it back up once I’ve put it down. I also have to relate somewhat. If I don’t feel somewhat of a connection to the writer, it’s hard for me to keep going. Nonetheless, I’m happy to be back on the book-reading circuit, and I’m thrilled to have learned something else about myself.

What sort of books do you like to read? If you have any biography/documentary types or personal growth options to recommend, I’m all ears! Right now I’m working on Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Wish me luck!

Rest

July 20, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Just typing the title of this post makes me sigh. Sometimes it seems nearly impossible to make time to actually rest. The fact of the matter is though, we all need rest and we need it more than once a year or once a quarter. For me, I’ve found that it’s much easier to not to rest than it is to make time to rest. This past weekend I knew I had to make some time to wind down. Let’s talk some about why and how.

I felt that out-of-control/need-to-regroup feeling early on in the week. I have been going from daylight to dark lately and with both personal and professional obligations consuming my days, I was starting to feel exhausted. If you sit in the middle of your floor crying while folding your underwear, it likely means you’re past due for a bit of rest. Or you hate your underwear. For me, I needed rest. My week was already packed to the rim, so without canceling appointments, I knew my rest would have to wait until the weekend. I went ahead and wrote it in my new Get To Work Book and was sure to cover the whole block. If I didn’t write this in and promise my husband I would do it, I knew that I’d schedule something. Actually taking the time off is the hardest part for me. I’m able to see that I need it. I understand its importance and value. Just doing it is what I struggle with.

You see, I had to say no to several things both personally and professionally to give myself this time. If you’ve read along here for more than a week, you know that I feel guilty for just about everything. Any time that I have to tell someone no, I feel terrible. Planning for a day of rest is hard for me because I usually have to say no…a lot.

Nonetheless, based on how I’d felt all week, I knew it needed to happen. I had to carve out some time to move slowly. I didn’t want to wash my hair. Or put on makeup. I wanted to wear sweats all day (or actually a shorts/tank pajama set. July in Louisiana = HOT.) I wanted to sit and catch up on weeks of unread blog posts in my feed. I wanted to casually surf Instagram. Paint. Decorate more of my home. Organize my closet room. And just sit. Basically, I wanted to wake up to sunshine pouring into my windows, not to an alarm. I wanted to lay in bed for too long and move slowly when I arose. I wanted to sit until I decided to do something else. And drink coffee slowly. I just wanted (I should probably say needed.) some time to nurture myself. I needed time to rest and time to pay attention to my hobbies and my home. As I’ve mentioned before we all need this time off to be the best versions of ourselves.

On Saturday and part of Sunday I did just that. It was much needed and appreciated. Feeling rested and relaxed was very much so worth the anxiety I had felt over telling people no. I’m approaching this work week feeling much better than if I’d spent the entire weekend working or running around as I usually do.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who doesn’t make time to rest. If your life is anything as busy as mine, it’s likely pretty difficult to carve out that downtime. However, it’s very important that we do. Without rest, we can’t be the best versions of ourselves, and we can’t approach life with a clear mind. We need to relax and rejuvenate in order to have the energy to go full speed towards our dreams.

If you’re struggling to make time for a break lately, I encourage you to make it happen. Schedule some time for yourself and do it unapologetically. You deserve it and need it.

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Knowing What You’re Good At

July 14, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I think there’s a certain level of maturity and self-awareness that must be present to really know what you’re good at. I’ve nailed down a few of my own skills lately, and I’ve realized just how valuable that can be. By getting a grasp on what you’re really good at, you can suddenly open up doors for yourself that you might have otherwise missed. Here’s how I’ve been able to make some progress in those areas myself.

First, I think you must identify things you’re NOT good at. Sometimes it’s hard for us to admit that certain things aren’t our strong points. We may have to come to terms with the fact that we’re not good at everything. (The horror!) We may also have to realize that we need to delegate some items or ask for help. However, the fact of the matter is, we’re not all good at everything. Being bad at some things gives us room to be great at others. If you can put your finger on things that you’re not the best at, you will start to identify things you are good at. (It might help to think about things that you find yourself procrastinating.)

Secondly, think about things that you always get compliments on. If you pay close attention, you might find that people tend to repetitively compliment you on the same or related things. For me, I always hear things like, “you have great taste.” Or, “you’re great at marketing.” Without realizing it, people were identifying some of my skills that I may not have really paid attention to otherwise. If you listen to things that the people around you point out, you might identify some underlying skills that you weren’t really noticing. You can also possibly identify things you aren’t as good at through this same method. However, be very, very careful to not let someone’s seemingly negative comments bring you down or discourage you. Pay attention, yet don’t let someone else have the final say.

Finally, I always encourage people to pay attention to your senses. If you’re genuinely excited about something and can’t stop thinking about it, maybe that’s your thing. If you regularly feel anxious or dread something, it might not be your thing. Most of the time, your gut will guide you towards what’s a right fit. You just have to listen and pay attention to what you’re feeling.

Furthermore, you may be good at some aspects of things, and not as good at others. This is certainly the case for me. For example, I’m a great business owner. I have a natural business mindset that allows me to make good marketing and growth decisions. I’m usually very good at sensing what my customers/clients might want and then delivering just that. On the other hand, I’m not as good at some of the behind the scenes aspects. If I had to file my own taxes, I’d probably quit. Many of the more tedious aspects of running a business are not my forte. I learned this about myself by following the guidelines above. I also learned that I can still be a great business owner, even if I’m not good at all areas of running a business. Rather than trying to do all and be all, I can get help with the things that I’m not good at, and in turn, that’ll open up time for me to do the things I am best at. It’s a win, win.

I’ve found that by being truly honest with ourselves, we can excel in the areas we’re meant to be known for. We can also alleviate a lot of unnecessary stress by not forcing ourselves to do the stuff that doesn’t fill us up. Of course, sometimes our jobs do require us to do things that aren’t ideal. For example, it may be your job to clean the bathroom. That’s not a glamorous position, yet someone has to do it. I wouldn’t suggest refusing to clean the bathroom because it doesn’t fill you up. However, if you focus on what you’re good at and really excel at that, you might be opening yourself up for a promotion where bathroom duty is no longer on your list. Sometimes we have to pay our dues. In the end though, it’s by accentuating our talents that we’ll get ahead.

Is there something that you seem to dread on a daily basis? Spend some time today thinking about what you naturally feel drawn to and what you want to run away from. This exercise might give you the ammunition you need to craft a more ideal and more beautiful life for yourself.

Have any thoughts on the topic? Please share!

The planner in the photo above is from A Beautiful Mess.

Leave a comment Inspiration & Thoughts 2015 - Business - inspiration - What I've Learned

#the100dayproject – Half Way!

July 9, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I am officially half way through the 100 day project. Judging by the fact that the project is intended to wrap up on July 14, I clearly didn’t keep up very well. In my usual fashion, I lost momentum quickly in. I regrouped, started again, and then lost momentum again. I think my biggest problem was that I sorely underestimated how difficult it would be to add in some creative time to my schedule. Going from allowing myself practically NO creative time to suddenly deciding that I’d do it every day, proved to be a bit tricky.

After falling off the wagon for the third or fourth time, I decided that I was going to complete the project…it just wasn’t going to be by July 14. Some days I’d “play catch up.” I’d knock out several projects on the weekend to make up for missing several days the past week. That’s all fine and good, yet it does sort of miss the point of the project. Therefore, I decided to cut myself some slack. I decided that I might not be able to give myself creative time every single day. However, I would still create 100 projects. Even if it took me a few additional months, I’d still likely have way more to show for the year than if I hadn’t taken on this project.

I shared a progress report a little way in to the project where I talked about what I’d learned so far. Here’s a few more things that I’ve picked up on recently:

It’s best to do any sort of creative project in the morning. I tended to put off my creative time until everything else was done. Shame on me. First of all, things photograph better in the morning. Some of my photos are dark and not that great because I’d be photographing it with poor lighting late at night. Plus, expecting myself to feel creative and inspired after a long day of work, isn’t the smartest move. Most of the time, I’d come home exhausted and not work on anything, which resulted in me getting off track. If you want to truly embrace your creativity, it’s likely best to do that in the morning.
There are so many mediums that I’ve never tried! In thinking up ideas for the project, I realized that there’s a lot of artistic things that I’ve never tried. This project gave me the freedom to try out charcoals, watercolor, purchase a sewing course, etc. If I wouldn’t have taken on this project, I would have likely continued to put this sort of exploration on the back burner. I’ve learned that I have more artistic interests/abilities than I thought I did, and I’m happy to be trying new things. I’ll succeed at some and fail at others. That’s how this goes.
I mainly wanted to do more painting. I set my hashtag as #100daysofcraftythings because I didn’t want to limit myself. I wanted to be able to do all sorts of projects. However, I learned a little ways in that what I really wanted was to allow myself more time to paint. When planning out projects, I almost always gravitated towards painting. This project helped me to realize that I want to explore this art a bit more.
Everyone has an opinion. Some people love everything. Some people hate everything. I already knew that I can sometimes get my feelings hurt rather easily. Creating something and then getting somewhat negative feedback on that thing, takes hurt feelings to a whole new level. I have a new respect for “real” artist that put their art out there and in turn open themselves up to all sorts of unsolicited feedback. If you create something and freely share it with the world, I have mad respect for you.
I suck at following too strict of rules. The entire concept of this project is that you take time each day to nurture a creative habit. I totally get it AND support it. However, I also have a natural aversion to following the rules too closely. I think the main reason I couldn’t keep up was reason #1 (above). However, I also think that I sort of rebuked the idea of having to do something every single day…even if it’s something I wanted to do. I think I needed to give myself the freedom to not have to do it sometimes.

All in all, I’m still thrilled I took on this project and I also know that I’ll be immensely proud of myself once I reach #100. I’m truly learning a lot about myself and my creative ability through the process. I think that I’m going to benefit greatly from “giving” myself this time, and I can’t wait to report back with 100 projects completed.

If you’d like to see what all I’ve been up to, check out #100daysofcraftythings on Instagram. Can you imagine that there will eventually be 100+ photos there?! I hardly can’t.

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Apple Juice

July 6, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Matthew and I just returned home from Alaska. I haven’t yet had time to sort through the hundreds of photos or put the magnitude of our trip into words. Don’t worry though, I will share details and photos from our trip very soon. (If you’d like a head start, you can check #mapinalaska on Instagram @pamelapetrus.) In the meantime, here’s a few thoughts that I had as we began our wonderful Alaskan journey.

There truly is something that I love about flying. Let me be clear. I do not like turbulence or stale air or sitting next to the one person on the plane that didn’t bathe today and has gas problems. I don’t like the migraines that I often get from the pressure or having to sit in one place for so long. I do, however, love the random bits of inspiration that flying gives me. I have written a large chunk of blog posts while flying, many of which have never even been shared. Nonetheless, I’ve noticed that sitting silently on a plane almost always makes me think about life or people or my dreams and goals, and often makes words flow from my mind almost effortlessly.

I’ve also noticed that I drink apple juice when I fly. As soon as the flight attendant brings out that rickety cart with the loud, locking brakes, I begin to taste apple juice. I couldn’t stand apple juice for the majority of my life. It’s only in the last few years that I’ve begun to drink it, and I do so understanding that any second I could wake up from this dream and remember that I don’t like apple juice. Since I’ve begun exploring this new land of juice, I’ve noticed that I primarily drink in on a plane. There may be one or two times a year that I drink it somewhere other than 30,000 feet in the air, and it’s usually shortly after a trip. Primarily though, it’s on an airplane. I’m not even sure when I decided that apple juice should be associated with flying. Regardless of how, when, or why, flying now equals sipping some juice. (Did you start singing “sipping on gin and juice??” No? Ok then.)

On this particular flight, something smelled like it was burning. I smelled it as soon as we began to move on the tarmac. My husband said he smelled it to and dismissed it almost instantly, in his usual fashion. I decided not to think much about it. After all, you could so very easily find some sound/smell/motion to be alarmed about while ascending into the sky riding in a big chunk of metal. My typically plane mentality is that if no one else around me seems concerned, then I shouldn’t be concerned either. (I could live out this scene from my all-time favorite movie. Better not though.)

I decided not to worry about the burning smell, even though I smelled it for the majority of the 7 hour flight. I figured if we hadn’t burst in to a ball of flames yet, we were probably going to be alright. Still though, there was this smell. It smelled somewhat like an old curling iron that had been on for a while, burning away years of caked on hairspray. There were times when the smell made me reminisce of getting ready for high school proms…a time when I didn’t even know how to “get ready.” (Seriously, I literally had no idea what to do with make up or how to manage this hair of mine.)

The longer I rode, I thought more about burning curling irons and apple juice. I have such a keen sense of smell (not usually a good thing on an airplane) and it’s very common for me to get catapulted back in time because of a familiar smell. The more that I thought about the new correlation between sipping apple juice and flying, the more inspired I became. Some of my best writing and business ideas have come from long, muffled flights. This is actually a great time for this flight, as I have something new up my sleeve. (Like how I just slipped that in??) Maybe someday I’ll be flying here and there for lunch or random excursions, just so I can take advantage of the inspiration that comes from these flights. If that’s the case, I want to be sitting in first class. Go big or go home, right?

It also made me think about what would happen if this plane crashed. My first thought is that this iPhone note would be backed up somewhere and maybe that’s how they would determine the cause of the crash…something burning. The headlines would read – “Young Blogger’s iPhone Note Cracks Plane Crash Mystery.” Clearly, I’m being a bit silly. Although, it made me think about the notes I have saved on my phone. A few grocery lists. Some useless passwords. Many are unpublished blog posts. Some I just haven’t gotten around to sharing. Some, I’ve decided are too random. Or too “raw.” Would anyone read those? Would I want them to?? As I’ve mentioned before, this blog is much like a journal for me. When writing for this space, it means that a lot of what I write doesn’t actually go live. Instead, those posts live on my iPhone, serving as an expression of my thoughts and feelings. They are very much so my journal where I write through my own thoughts and feelings. It just so happens that I’m writing them from a story-telling perspective rather than an introspective one. Even though they’re not shared, they still live on in my iPhone. They tell my story. Would I want someone to read all of those? I’m really not sure. I do know that I’m thankful that they’re there.

For now, I’ll continue to write more posts, much like this one, that may or may not get shared. I’ll sip some juice and smell that burning curling iron smell and dream and reminisce and make plans. Most importantly, I’ll think. I’ll think about anything and everything, often simultaneously. I’ll have good ideas and not-so-good ideas. Some of them I’ll act on. Some will fade into the distance. No matter what, I’ll be thankful for the opportunity to think and plan and dream.

I’ll have another apple juice, please.

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Off to Alaska we go!

June 22, 2015 Pamela Stephens

In just a few hours I will be on my way to Alaska with my husband, with family waiting to greet us there. This is a trip that we’ve planned and eagerly anticipated for over a year. I distinctly remember how far away it seemed when we first started discussing it. I remember it feeling like the actual trip was so far away. Well, it’s here now!

Matthew and I will be traveling most of the day on Tuesday and will arrive in Anchorage late on Tuesday evening. I wish I could tell you what we have planned for the week…I don’t even know though! Matthew’s grandparents lived in Alaska for a bit and they’ve made these summer voyages back for many years since moving back to Louisiana. They’re our trusted tour guides and we’re luckily going to see the best of the best through the help of well-traveled and experienced former locals.

Am I nervous about not having some sort of agenda? Certainly. Do I have the slightest idea how to pack for Alaskan summers? Not at all. Am I eagerly awaiting to board that plane, despite my uncertainty? Most definitely!

I’m sure that I’ll share bits and pieces of our trip on Instagram and probably Facebook as I can. You can follow along with #mapinalaska (Matthew and Pamela in Alaska). At this point, I’m not even certain how much cell service or Internet access we’ll have. I’m assuming that it might be a bit spotty, depending on where we are and what we’re doing that day. (Don’t worry, I’ve made plans for work while I’m away.) I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least somewhat looking forward to an opportunity to unplug for a bit.

I don’t have many expectations for this trip since I don’t really know much about what’s ahead. However, I am expecting to see some of the most beautiful scenery that I’ve ever seen. Everyone who’s ever been to Alaska raves about its beauty. I simply can’t wait to see it!! I am expecting to be somewhat taken back by my surroundings, and I bet I struggle to take it all in. I bet I’m immensely inspired. I hope to approach this trip with the enthusiasm of a small child, seeing something amazing for the first time. I’m also looking forward to breathing the air there. (And drinking lots of water so I don’t dehydrate from altitude differences.) I can’t wait to see how the air feels. I also just recently learned of the Anchorage Market. I did a bit of perusing through Google images and I’m suddenly very excited to hopefully see this. The wares look very different from any market I’ve ever been to and I must see it! (I also must make a plan for getting lots of souvenirs home!)

I’m sure it’s very easy to pick up on my excitement over this trip. My enthusiasm easily overtakes any uncertainty that I feel over what to pack and not knowing a “plan.” I have lots and lots of work to do today in preparation for being away. However, I’ll be subtly counting down the hours to myself. I’m one of those people who love to travel. I love seeing new things and having all of the experiences. One of my more recently set “goals” is to eventually travel for at least 3 months out of the year. (I haven’t put this goal “out there” yet, so you’re the first to know!) I feel like there’s SO. MUCH. to see out there in the world, and I absolutely want to see as much of it as possible. I want to be that lady sharing accounts of my overseas adventures and stories of little restaurants here and there. I am thrilled that Alaska will get to be in my list of stories to tell. I also can’t wait to get home and mark it on my travel map!

I plan to share the highlights of our trip here when we get home. In an attempt to truly be present and experience this trip, you’ll miss a few posts from me. I’m truly taking the next couple of weeks off, so I’ll be back here on My Neck of the Woods on Monday, July 6. While I’m away, do something fun! And make plans to do something exciting soon…like go to Alaska!

Also, I just stumbled upon this article about how vacation is a mindset, not a location. Great read!

(The above photo is from our United Airlines eTicket. Thanks United!)

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Sweatpants

June 18, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I saw something on Instagram recently that said ladies shouldn’t wear sweatpants. My first thought was, “damn, I like sweatpants.” Then I quickly switched to something more along the lines of, “you’re not the boss of me.”

I feel like I rather often see all sorts of lists or internet memes that say ladies don’t do this or that. Or do this or that. Here’s the deal though. There’s almost always exceptions to the rule. And I almost always maintain that rules are made to be broken. Today will not be the day that I let someone’s innocent overgram or retweet be the reason I feel guilty about wearing the oh-so-amazing and incredibly comfy sweatpants.

Here’s my middle ground. You (the Internet) think wearing sweatpants is lazy and unkempt. I think wearing sweatpants is amazing. Here are a few of my suggestions for landing somewhere in the middle of this heated and controversial topic. (Yes, I’m being dramatic for comical effect. It’s neither heated, nor dramatic.)

1. I never, ever wear pajamas in public. Regardless of your age or lifestyle situation, I do not think pajamas are public attire. If I saw you at Walgreens at 3:00 am, sleep-deprived and pain-ridden, wearing your favorite Tweety Bird pajamas (that’s a nod to my big sister), then I most certainly would not judge. However, 2:00 pm at Walmart is not where I’d consider this attire acceptable. True pajamas are not for public wear. If you must wear something comfy and/or baggy in public, get acquainted with yoga pants and sweatpants and of course, Nike shorts. Those can be worn in public without looking like you don’t at all care about life. (Side note: driving to the Starbucks drive through does not count as a public appearance, and I have certainly been known to wear pajamas for that outing. Only God can judge me.)

2. I think you should always look your best. Do I always follow this? Absolutely not. Somedays I flip the mirror the middle finger and roll out regardless. (Not literally. Again, that’s comic relief.) I don’t think all women have to wear lipstick or that we simply must wear makeup or curl our hair. I do think, though, that we should always attempt to put our best foot forward. If you leave the house doing nothing to look your best, what does that say about your approach on life? We don’t all have to be gorgeous centerfold models wearing the most expensive and latest trends with not a single hair out of place. I’m certainly not. I do think presenting yourself in the best possible light is a must. Wearing ill-fitting clothes with unmanaged hair and dirty shoes is not doing that. Do what you can to look your best.

3. Wear “nicer” versions of sweatpants. I will continue to wear sweatpants at home, and I don’t think Hitler himself could stop me. Here’s the trade off though. Rather than wearing paint-stained, holy, half-bleached sweats from 2002, I can wear lounge clothes that look somewhat nice and fit decently. This has actually been something I’ve been working on through my quest for a beautiful life. I had a tendency to not buy nicer lounge clothes because I already had comfy items that I could wear at home. Granted, they may be old as dirt or ugly as homemade soap (I don’t even know what that means.), yet I already had them and they were fine. After all, no one would see me wearing that 1997 softball tshirt with flannel pajamas from 2002 with just the right number of holes. That’s not what matters though. I see me. My husband sees me. You might would even see me if you dropped by unannounced delivering freshly baked cookies. (That’s my attempt at working on your subconscious. You’re getting very sleepy…. Bring me cookies!)

On a serious note though, I shouldn’t be selling myself (and my husband) short just because I don’t want to invest in lounge clothes that no one else will see. Granted, I will likely continue to wear those favorite flannel pajama pants until they literally disintegrate. I will, however, not wear them with the baggiest, ugliest tshirt that I own. I will also primarily wear nicer lounge clothes. I will buy thing that are nice and pretty and fit me well to wear around the house. The looking-your-best principle should also apply at home.

I provide all of these tongue-in-cheek “rules” while 100% understanding that there will be those days. Somedays you will just want to be lazy at your own house. You might have yesterday’s make up smeared down your face. Your hair might be 100 levels of greasy. The only thing you might want to wear are those over-sized sweats from college. It’s ok. We all deserve a bit of down time where you throw complete caution to the wind. On the regular though, try to look your best. You’ll feel better personally, and I’m sure those around you will appreciate it. I believe doing things for your self esteem is of utmost importance and these are a few ways to nurture that. Most importantly, understand that there’s always gray areas. No one can tell you what’s “right” or “classy.” You get to decide and make your own rules.

I am making a commitment to not be “too slouchy” even at home. However, if you try to take my sweatpants away from me, I might kill you. You’ve been warned.

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Where to find small (and large) shoes!

June 15, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Let’s start this post with a few fun facts about me.

I really, really like pickles. And no, it doesn’t mean that I’m pregnant.
As a kid I wanted be a horse rancher in Montana. It’s safe to say that I didn’t really understand what that meant.
I cannot whistle. It’s possible that I could make some sort of a whistling sound should my life depend on it. I wouldn’t bet on it though.
I have crazy amounts of adrenaline and freaky fast reflexes. If you were going to drop your baby, you’d want me standing nearby. Just sayin’.
I have a tiny, tiny foot. Thank you, Mammaw Bryant.

That last one there is what brings me to today’s post topic. I have always had such a small foot. At this point, my ten year old niece wears a larger shoe than I do. Even six and seven year olds have been known to pass me up in the shoe department. What size shoe do I wear, you ask? A women’s 4.5. (That roughly translates into a kid’s 2.5 or 3, if you were wondering.) If you’re thinking that a women’s size 4.5 doesn’t exist, you’re partially right. You’ve probably seen a size 5 on a sale rack a time or too, yet I doubt you’ve ever seen a size 4 or 4.5 lingering about. What does this mean? I often have to special order my shoes.

As you may know, I have a bit of a thing for shoes. (You can see a bit of my collection here and here.) My collection of shoes comes partly from the fact that if I ever find a pair of shoes that actually fit, I buy them. Don’t have anything to match them? Doesn’t matter. Have two other pair in a similar color? Doesn’t matter. If they fit, I buy them. Finding shoes to fit a tiny foot isn’t something that happens every day, so I purchase anything that fits, knowing that someday I will need that exact shoe and not be able to find it.

Without further ado, here are links to my favorite places for finding small shoes. If you know anyone who has a small foot, please share this post with them. I guarantee that they’ll be appreciative.

Sole Society: This was one of my latest shoe-shopping discoveries. Sometimes their inventory might be a bit low in the small sizes. However, some of my favorite heels came from here, so I recommend checking their site often. If you purchase anything from this exact link I get a $25 credit, so please do that!!
Nordstrom: This retailer offers quite a few styles in smaller sizes. This is actually how I stumbled upon Sole Society. Sometimes these are a bit pricier, so I recommend Nordstrom for those high-quality basics that you’ll use for years to come. This is one of the sites where you can usually find a good selection of larger sizes too.
Cinderella of Boston: This was the first company that I found that made smaller shoes. Prior to finding Cinderella of Boston, I just had to get lucky and find shoes that ran small. They actually go all the way down to a women’s size 2! Some of the styles aren’t very youthful or trendy. However, they usually have a few great options each season, like these and these. I signed up for the catalog and get very excited when it arrives in my mailbox.
Gap Kids: This isn’t a joke. Most of my favorite sandals come from here. Obviously, you don’t typically find heels or wedges in the kid’s department. However, their sandals are usually very cute and more adult looking than most. Actually, the sandals that I get compliments on most, usually come from Gap.
Dillard’s: Dillard’s offered an “extended sizes” option several years ago. Again, you have to weed through the less-trendy styles a bit. However, sometimes you can still find a few good options. They go down to a size 4 and up to a 12.
Leatherhood: I just recently stumbled upon this Etsy shop for leather sandals that are HANDMADE IN GREECE! You have to admit, that’s way cool. The prices are totally reasonable for a handmade, leather shoe and shipping costs aren’t bad either. I haven’t ordered from Leatherhood yet, though I plan to soon. If you beat me to the punch, let me know what you think!

So there you have it. I sometimes stumble upon shoes here and there that by chance fit my small foot. However, these resources are where I get most of my shoes. Having a small foot certainly comes with its own set of frustrations. For example, I usually can’t just run and go pick up a shoe to go with a certain outfit if needed. It was also incredibly frustrating when I owned a boutique because I’d order the cutest shoes and not be able to wear most of them. I have a rough life, can’t you tell?

All joking aside, if you know of someone who has a small foot, be sure to send them a link to this post. I can promise you that they’ll be overjoyed for some new resources and will be forever grateful to you. You should also send it over to anyone who wears larger than a size 10. Those sizes are also difficult to find and several of the resources above do offer larger sizes too.

As always, thanks for reading along and if you have any other suggestions for places to find extended sizes, PLEASE leave details in the comments. I am always looking for other options, and would love to check out some new places!

(You might recognize that top photo from last week’s trip to Natchitoches!)

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Have Courage & Be Kind

June 11, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I created this sketch as one of my very first projects when I started the 100 day project. It was shortly after the release of the new Cinderella movie and the quote had really stuck with me. Ever since sketching it, I’ve had it hanging on the mirror where I get dressed every morning, and I see it often as I walk to and from my closet room. I also set the photo as the screen saver on my phone. I firmly believe in surrounding yourself with positivity and this sign is one of the reminders that I thought I’d like to have daily. After seeing it for several weeks, I started having a few thoughts on what it actually meant for me.

courage – noun: the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous.

It made me think about what it means to have courage. In the obvious sense of the word, it means to do things that you’re afraid of. We typically think of courage as facing a certain fear, like skydiving even though you’re afraid of heights. While it’s a great reminder to have that sort if courage, for me it means a little more.

I chose to surround myself with this reminder because I want to constantly have the courage to have difficult conversations. To ask hard questions or to ask for more from people. I want to be courageous so that I keep doing and dreaming, even when other people tell me I can’t. I want to have the courage to be my true self, even when I’m afraid to let people close to me. I want to be courageous enough to write and share my thoughts here, even when people don’t understand why I blog. I want to be brave enough to keep going when my feelings are hurt, rather than letting it stop me in my tracks. I want be courageous enough to compliment strangers…to tell them sweet things that they’d love to hear. I want to have the courage to live a bold, unwavering life, even when the people around me don’t do the same.

Yes, I do want to have the courage to try new and exciting things. However, for me, being courageous in my every day life is more important. I want to approach each small, daily task with courage and bravery. To me, how you live your daily life is what makes up the sum of your entire life. Most of us aren’t faced with the opportunity to climb mountains or jump from airplanes every day. However, we do have the opportunity to face our own feelings. We have the opportunity to have real conversations with people, and we have the opportunity to be who we really want to be. Without demonstrating courage in our daily lives, we run the risk of life slipping right past us. We run the risk of missing out on wonderful opportunities and not ever learning who we actually are.

Of course, you should have the courage to explore amazing adventures. Today though, I charge you to show some courage in your daily life. Maybe you want to ask for a promotion. Do it. Maybe you’ve thought that lady at the coffee shop has beautiful hair. Tell her. Maybe there’s a dish at a local restaurant that you haven’t tried. Taste it. Maybe you’ve needed to talk to someone about some tough things going on in your life. Make that call. There are a million and one ways that we can demonstrate courage daily. What will you do today that’s courageous? Remember, the reward is often worth so much more than the risk it takes to reach it. Do something courageous today. And then tomorrow too. It’s totally worth it.

Leave a comment Inspiration & Thoughts #the100dayproject - 2015 - inspiration

Natchitoches, Louisiana

June 8, 2015 Pamela Stephens

On Saturday, Matthew and I made somewhat of a spontaneous trip over to Natchitoches, LA for dinner. Matthew had tagged along with me to show a couple of houses, with the last one being on Caney Lake in Chatham. As we were driving to the lake, I had the thought that we should have made plans to go over to Natchitoches after and stay the night. Natchitoches is quite known for their large selection of adorable bed & breakfasts, and I’ve been dying to try one. After showing the house, we decided to head on over to Natchitoches even though we didn’t make prior plans. We weren’t prepared to stay the night. However, we could still grab a quick dinner before heading back home to Monroe.

We were only in Natchitoches for a few short hours, just enough time to grab a bite to eat and walk around Front Street. One of my favorite things about Natchitoches is the beautiful brick-paved streets. They add such character to the Front Street area. It’s also hard to miss the beautiful Cane River running right alongside the shops and restaurants.

Matthew and I had a quick dinner at Mama’s Oyster House and then walked along the river a bit before heading home. Live music was set to start at Mama’s at 8:00 and we just missed it by an hour or two. We’ll certainly make plans to go back for the music soon. After soaking in the scenery for a bit, Matthew and I headed home. We took a different route back to Monroe than how we’d came and thoroughly enjoyed driving our new car. This was the first time we got to really drive the car…curvy backroads and hills and such. We truly enjoyed the evening!

Spontaneous adventures like these are what my dreams are made of. For me, making memories of this sort are the stories that I’ll tell for years to come. I simply love doing something unplanned and adventurous. Have you taken a spontaneous little trips lately? Where should we go next?? If we head back to Natchitoches soon, which bed & breakfast should we try? I’d love to hear suggestions!

If you’d like to see some of the other places we’ve been, check out the travel category!

9 Comments Travel 2015 - husband and wife - travel