Tag Archives: inspiration

1 out of 19

The Courthouse. Read more at pamelapetrus.comAs anyone who’s read more than a few posts here will know, I write about my experiences. Some are good and some are not-so-good. Sometimes I write about lovely adventures and sometimes I write about harsh realities that I come to realize. Either way, most of my writing is grounded in experiences, whether it be good, bad, or simply insightful.

Today, I write while trapped in a small room with 19 others whom I’ve never met before. We sit here mostly in silence as we prepare to perform our civic duty and await instruction from those in charge. As I sit here in the corner, I observe those around me as I often do. I actually have somewhat of a tendency to infer things about those around me when I’m surrounded by new people. At restaurants, I piece together story lines about the relationships of those at nearby tables. When checking out in Target, I imagine what the person in front of me’s day has been like or where they might be headed next. I do not do this from a perspective of nosiness. Instead, I believe this tendency comes from an area of being simply fascinated with human behavior and people’s “stories.”

Today, as I sit in a room full of somewhat disgruntled strangers, there is so much to observe. Here are a couple of things that I noticed:

      1. Negativity spreads like wildfire. At first, everyone sat relatively quietly and what would seem like patiently. Suddenly though, when the first negative comment was made, madness ensued. Before, everyone was mild-mannered and polite. After just one reference to “them letting us die of thirst,” the mood changed. Suddenly, others began to complain. We heard stories of needing to be at work to make money, having to drive far in the rain, and recovering from the flu. Before, everyone seemed at peace. It was simply amazing at how quickly one bad mood spread throughout the room.
      2. We have the ability to transform someone’s perspective. Shortly after the negativity began to spread, I decided to do a little experiment. I made eye contact with a lady across the room and mouthed, “I love your pants,” with a smile. Her face lit up immediately. Only moments prior, you could see the negativity starting to creep up on her. However, with the kind word of a stranger, she successfully fought off the bad vibe and maintained joyful. Then, she spread a bit of joy to the person next to her and I saw the room starting to transform again.

After noticing this simple concept, I began to think about the affect we have on other people. Each day as we pass through our daily routines, we come in contact with various people, some regular acquaintances and some complete strangers. Most of the time though, I think we disregard the effect we have on these people. The fact is though, we have the ability to either enhance or dampen the days of those we come in contact with. Sometimes, something as simple as a smile can transform the day of a stranger. Sometimes, picking up a dropped item for someone in our office can encourage a sigh of relief. On the contrary, if we spread a funky mood throughout the world, it’s likely to take root too.

I sat there observing the room and felt amazed and encouraged that I was able to have a positive impact on a room of 19 strangers, with very little effort even. Then it dawned on me, if I can inspire the mood of a group of strangers, what capabilities do we have within our own small groups? What chances are we missing to encourage and teach positivity to our children? What would those we work with say of our overall demeanor? I think too often we forget to consider these things. We forget to consider that we’re capable of setting a mood…both in a positive manner and in a negative. We forget that people are constantly observing our actions and often repeating them. Rather than simply reacting today, I encourage you to choose your responses wisely. Consider that there’s a world of people watching you, both openly and in secret. Consider that YOU have the ability to encourage those around you and to transform the room. If we’re all a little more intentional with our actions today, maybe we can actually change the world.

 

Photo from https://oppj.org/.

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3 Things to Consider Before Trying Something New

3 Things to Consider When Trying Something New. Read more at Pamelapetrus.comTrying something new or starting a new adventure can absolutely be one of the scariest tasks ever. Sometimes when we start out on a new path, everything feels so uncertain and frightening. However, if you push through that initial fear, wonderful things are usually right around the corner.

In the last several years of my professional career, I’ve launched multiple new projects and businesses. With each new endeavor, I always feel that tinge of fear. So far, I’ve been able to push myself through that and I’m always glad that I did. As I’m on the verge of doing a few new things, I’ve started thinking about how I handle this uncertainty and what I do to push through that part of the process. If you find yourself getting nervous as new opportunities arise, here are some things to consider:

1. Will you regret NOT doing it more than you’d regret any negative outcome? This is my number one motivator when it comes to new projects. Most of the time, we’re secretly afraid of failure. What if it flops? What if it ends badly? I always imagine myself 30 years down the road. If I don’t attempt this new project, will I regret it later? If I avoid something out of fear, will I look back later and wish I would have just sucked it up? If the answer to either of those is yes (and it usually is), then I know I have to push forward.

2. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen? Go wild with this one. Most of the time, the absolute worst thing really isn’t that daunting. Take real estate for example. When I decided to get my license and change careers, it cost me around $2,500 to get stared. If I was terrible at it or hated it, I had only lost $2,500. In the big scheme of things, that’s not too risky, and I wouldn’t be financially crippled for the rest of my life. Realizing that a $2,500 investment (plus my time) was all that I was risking to go after something I’d always wanted, made the risk seem much less daunting.

3. What could the potential outcome be? Let’s switch gears to the opposite end of the spectrum. If everything goes ideally as planned, what will your life look like? What is the best possible outcome? Are you able to envision a better life? Obviously, there’s a chance that things won’t be as glorious as you’re able to imagine. However, there’s also a chance that they could be even better! Sometimes we’re only able to imagine a small portion of the potential that lies ahead. If you can dream of this new adventure creating a life that you love, it’s definitely worth exploring. On the other hand, if you’re not able to see the positive results very clearly, then maybe it’s not the right option for right now. Either way, dreaming about the potential can make you see things more clearly and guide your decisions.

No matter how scary, no matter how elusive, when we continually think and dream about a particular item, it likely means we need to explore it. When our thoughts tend to gravitate towards the same item, our subconscious is probably telling us to explore it. Sometimes these are large, daunting things. Sometimes they’re small and more manageable. Either way, we never know the outcome of something until we give it a shot.

During this stage of my life, I’m committing to chasing those dreams. I’m taking advantage of this life of mine. I’m learning tennis. I’m starting new businesses. I’m making bold decisions in my home. The way I see it, life is much to short to wonder “what if?”

If you’re toying with the idea of doing something new, I hope these few points provide some enlightenment. Think through them, consider the options, and then just go for it! Starting in the scariest point. After that, you’re just working towards your dreams. What do you really, really want to do? Go do that thing!

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When the Sun Rises.

rainy days at pamelapetrus.comOne Saturday morning I woke up before the sun came up. This is likely because I was in bed and sleeping by 9:30 the night before. Nonetheless, I was wide awake early in the morning hours, several hours before I needed to be up for the day. Since I knew I’d continue to lie there restlessly, I got up. I decided to seize this opportunity for a bit of “me” time. I’d do things I don’t always have the time to do and enjoy the quiet silence for a while. As always in this scenario, the time passed much more quickly than I’d have liked. I didn’t have time to do even a fraction of the things I’d considered doing. Before I knew it, the extra hours had passed and it was time to get on with my day.

I sat there thinking for a bit, dreading the rising of the sun. You see, when the sun rises and the rest of the world is awakened, I have responsibilities. It is then that I have to start behaving like a regular person. I must work and provide things for people. I must answer my cell phone and check emails. I must fix my hair and apply makeup. Things are so simple and easy before the sun rises. I can sit quietly and sip coffee intentionally. I can stay in the comfort of my favorite, fuzzy pajamas. No one needs me. No one notices whether I’m asleep or awake.

Regardless of my longing for it to stay quiet and dark a little longer, the sun rises anyway, as it does everyday. The fact of the matter is, the sun is going to continually rise and set each day, even if I’m not ready for it to. Even if I’d like a few more hours of darkness, the sun will still rise. Even if I need a few more hours of light in which to accomplish things, the sun will still set. It’s out of my control, you see, as are so many other things.

This past weekend, I spent many hours on the couch with a migraine, listening to the rain fall. Even after the headache eased, I continued to sit still. I didn’t feel the need to rush about, tidying this or that. I didn’t feel compelled to leave the house for groceries or other errands that plague the everyday. I have known for quite some time that these rainy days rejuvenate my soul. Things are quieter and more relaxed. I have a excuse to not leave the house and I often rest more as the rain falls. On Sunday, our house was quiet most of the day, with only the sounds of rainfall and the occasional passing car, splashing through puddles as they zoomed by. Days like this remind me of those early morning hours where I’m seemingly the only one awake. I equate the rain with those dark, morning hours, both of which I’m reluctant to see vanish. Nonetheless, I know that the rain must ease eventually and that the sun must rise and set, regardless of my desires for them.

It’s in these dark, quiet hours though, that I unwind and explore my own thoughts. Most of the time, like this day, I can’t hardly put them into words. I feel inspired and full of thoughts, yet none of them can be deciphered enough to create an intelligent thought. The common denominator is though, that I’m always searching for peace. Most of these thoughts center around creating peace in my relationships, peace in my daily life, peace in my career, and peace within my home. As I let my mind fully wander, I almost always go towards an area where I’m striving to feel centered and at peace. And as the sun rises, I feel my control over that peace slowly slip away. Soon, the phone will ring. Soon, I’ll hear cars speeding by. Soon, I’ll begin to feel guilt over not having yet checked my email. Life’s responsibilities lie in the sunshine. As my home brightens with the rising sun, I know that I must go back to the grand performance that is my life. Act One begins just as the curtain of darkness rises, and the show must go on.

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On Getting Back Up.

getting back up at pamelapetrus.comOver the course of the last couple of days, I’ve been told that my face was too long, my natural hair color looked better, and that my biological clock is ticking so I’ll probably miss my opportunity to have children. I was also told that one photo that I shared on social media was good while another was “not good of me at all.” Granted, people are often way too giving of information that we don’t necessarily want. However, it’s seems to have been running rampant lately in My Neck of the Woods. I could spend a bit addressing each one of these negative, hurtful comments (and giving you more examples) and discuss why they’re each terrible and add up to create a bit of an insecure monster inside of me. However, that’s not the purpose I have in mind here. Instead, I wanted to talk a bit about pushing through things like this.

If we had a few years and an unlimited supply of Kleenex, I could probably list out practically every mean thing that’s ever been said to me. High school would provide its own chapter in this story, and most of these mean-spirited things will be forever burned into my mind. It’s very likely that you could make a similar list too. For many years, I’ve wondered why people say hurtful things. I’ve wondered why I let them upset me. I’ve often dreamed of a world where everyone only has nice, uplifting things to say and where we all live by that golden rule that says, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” What a joy it would be to live in a world like that! Instead, I feel like I’m constantly seeing instances where people both unintentionally and intentionally say hurtful things. This plays out among peers, in families, and on social media daily. Sometimes, I get so frustrated that I want to yell and cry (and I sometimes do both) and I exclaim generalities like, “people are awful and terrible and I hate them.” I group all people into one nasty category because it seems like I’m often taken back by the nastiness that comes out of their mouths. The most unfortunate of these scenarios is the one in which people close to you repetitively say hurtful things.

That’s not fair of me though. I shouldn’t group everyone together. I shouldn’t generalize. If I were being honest, I also shouldn’t keep this mental list of people who’ve said hurtful things to me. Yet, I do. For example, someone close to me once said that I “needed to get a life” if I had time to blog. I’ll never forget it. I do my best to not dwell on it or harbor resentment, yet I think about that statement every time I hit publish here.

The hardest part about events like these isn’t even the hurt feelings. Unfortunately, I never really forget what’s said or done, and it does add a bit of extra insecurity to my emotional wardrobe. However, I think the worst part is having to muster the courage to keep going. The hardest part is disregarding the negativity and continuing to write blog posts. It’s continuing to share that photo of myself, even though I can quickly identify the flaws that others have pointed out to me. It’s the struggle to be excited about my new car, when people close to me make comments about how I must want to “keep up with the Jones.”

You see, life is full to the brim of hurt and disappointment. It takes on a lot of different forms, and we all experience it. As I started reading a book given to me by my lovely assistant, I realized this very thing might be my struggle. The thing I need to work on right now might be perseverance. I may not be as afraid of falling, as I am of getting back up. You see, continuing to do something that someone has criticized, even subtly, is very hard for me. My first instinct when my feelings are hurt is to abandon the thing or person in question. Don’t like my Facebook photo? Ok, I’ll never post on Facebook again. Think blogging is lame? Ok, I’ll make it a private blog and only invite in those that won’t hurt me with their comments. It’s pushing through that fear of continuing that’s immensely frightening for me. It’s getting back up when I’ve been knocked down by those around me. It’s certainly easier to just stay down. It’s a lot less scary to just fly under the radar. Sometimes I think that I should just live small and not go after big dreams, so that I’m not a target of criticism. It’s sad that the thought crosses my mind more than it should.

Unfortunately, I won’t wrap up this post with a list of tips for avoiding this sort of thing. I won’t concede with a story of how I figured it out and how you can too. Instead, I know that I’ll continue to struggle in this area. I’ll continue to want to stay down when my feelings are hurt. I’ll continue to want to mark people off the list when they hurt me. I’ll probably always wear my feelings on my sleeve. However, the moral is that we must continue to get back up, even when we’re hurt and afraid. We have to continue to live our lives as boldly as we can dream of. For me, it usually won’t be evident to the average acquaintance. Most likely, the exterior will appear thick and impenetrable. I’ll appear strong and resilient. On the inside though, I’m probably making a mental list of the stones being thrown at me. It’s a list that I’ll keep forever and review over and over again in my head, all too often dwelling on the damage they’ve caused. Some leave lifelong scars. Others are more temporary bruises. Either way, I must get back up again and continue the fight.

“The truth is falling hurts. The dare is to keep bring brave and feel your way back up.” Brene Brown

(Similar thoughts here if you’re interested.)

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Living Room Inspiration: Pink + Black & White

Living Room Inspiration Photo by Kate Mills. I have recently fallen in love with this look that I’ve seen popping up around the internet. I’m loving it so much so that I’m thinking of abandoning my previous plans for my living room and heading this direction instead. I should probably go ahead and admit that I often create a “new plan” for a space and then simultaneously move on to something else before I ever even make that first plan a reality.

I have been planning to paint the fireplace wall in our living room and add wood from the mantle to the ceiling. I’ve been searching for a new coffee table and I intended to buy a new cowhide rug for underneath. Before this, I was going to replace the hodge-podge of colors I’ve been using with black/cream/mint/gold. This look never made it from my head to the room and it looks like my most recent plan might not either. That being said, this photo (and this and this) is a sample of the look that I’m most excited about right now – black and white with a touch of pink. I first saw the look on @katekillsit‘s Instagram. Since then, I’ve been drawn to every similar photo.

I’ve never been much of a pink girl. However, these bright pink rugs paired with black, white, and gold have really be catching my attention lately. I stumbled upon a few similar rugs at a furniture store in Dallas recently and I’m really considering jumping ship from my most recent décor plan. Our gray sectional takes up most of the room, so you will really only see a small portion of the rug. Nonetheless, I’m thinking that this little touch of pink might add some personality. Right now, our living room is the equivalent of talking to the guy at the party whose main interest is spreadsheets. I’d much rather it be like talking to the world-traveled artist who lived in Uganda for a bit. A pink rug would most likely transition the room from Boring Bill to Racy Raul, right??

For now, here’s what I’m thinking:

  • Bold rug, probably in the dark pink family
  • Black fireplace wall
  • White wood above the fireplace
  • Gold curtain rod with white flowy curtains
  • A collection of fun pillows (or all black & white)
  • Something fun and bold above the mantle (I’m seriously considering a picture of a goat.)
  • Lots of gold accents
  • Bold, fun light fixture

Clearly, I could just as quickly abandon this idea as I’ve abandoned the last few. I may even stick with the cowhide instead of the pink patterned rug…depending on what I can find. Even if these plans alter a bit, my goal is still to create a space that screams, “I’m perfectly put together, yet very fun.” The intention is that you’ll want to talk to my living room at a party…not that other silly room that picks his nose when he thinks no one is looking.

If you’d like to see more of my living room inspiration, check out my Pinterest board!

(Photo by Kate Mills.)

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Clutter + the KonMari Method

Clutter + the KonMari Method. Read more at pamelapetrus.comMy quest to reduce clutter began when Matthew and I married in 2012. We had both lived on our own for quite some time, so in essence we were combining two full households. There were basically two of everything and to fit in our quaint rent house, we had to pare down. In addition to having doubles of things, it was also evident that Matthew had way less stuff than what I’d accumulated and that made me feel a little self conscious.

You see, I had an addiction to keeping everything. After doing a bit of self-exploration, I realized that most of this tendency came from a fear of not having what I needed. I was afraid that if I got rid of something and needed it later, I wouldn’t have the money or ability to replace it. I’ve also experienced my fair share of losing loved ones. This caused me to have boxes and boxes of sentimental items that I simply must keep because they originally belonged to someone that I loved. The reality is, most of these things were just given to me, not things that I actually chose for a reason. Shortly after Matthew and I were married, I purged so many things. We had an epic garage sale and the result made me feel pretty good about myself and our home.

My second voyage towards a clutter-free home came when we bought the new house. Even though I’d purged quite a bit from the rent house, there was still so much extra. When we moved, I was determined to not fill this new house with extras. The tall ceilings and ample windows made me really want an open, airy, and tidy home. We had another garage sale and donated so many things. I considered it great progress.

After these two large purges (and several small ones), things were looking up. There wasn’t nearly as much stuff, yet there was still more than we needed or used. Then, I picked up Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Honestly, I did this primarily out of curiosity. The internet acted like this book was indeed life-changing and I read about it everywhere I turned. I figured that I’d read the book, maybe pick up a few new tricks, and then go on about my life. Instead, reading this book prompted one of the biggest purges of my entire life and has completely changed how I look at things in my home.

First, I immediately tackled my closet. Even though I’d thinned quite a bit in the other purges, I was still hanging on to so much extra clothing. My approach was to either hold on to it because “I might wear it again” or because “I’d not gotten my money’s worth out of it.” Therefore, even though I’d thinned and thinned, I still had a closet full of things I didn’t love or feel fantastic in. I had mentioned some tips for cleaning out your closet before, yet I still had so much extra that I “might wear under something one day.”

After just a few chapters of this book, I was filling garbage bag after garbage bag of items. It was like something clicked and finally gave me permission to get rid of those things I didn’t really want to keep anyway. Kondo’s approach is to take every single item that you own into your hand and ask yourself if it brings you joy. If it does not, then it’s just taking up space and it’s time to get rid of it. This approach alone was responsible for me purging over five large bags of clothing and shoes and 200+ writing utensils.

Not only has Kondo’s book helped me to make serious headway in a curated home, it’s also changed my approach to shopping. I no longer by things that I just barely like because it’s on sale or a good price. Instead, sometimes I pay a little bit more for things that I love. Overall, I’m spending less money and not bringing as many extra things into my home. Because of this book, I have a new outlook on how easy it is to have a clutter-free home full of only things that you love. If you’re even slightly concerned about having a home that you’re proud of, I recommend the book. It’s a no-nonsense approach to tidiness and you’re guaranteed to find at least a bit of insight as you read along.

Another way that I’ve been able to create a much more tidy home is by actually using my sentimental items. Rather than continuing to store box after box full of miscellaneous sentimental items, I got rid of the things that meant nothing to me and am now actually using the others. (There are still a few boxes of these items in the attic that I’m prepared to cull.) I read somewhere that our grandmothers would much rather us actually use their old wedding China than have it stored in a box in the attic where we never even see it. The risk of breaking a plate is worth it for the years of memories we’ll create using those plates and thinking of our grandmothers. Those family quilts should be draped across our couches and used for family movie nights instead of stuffed away in clear containers in the closet. You should wear your mother’s pearls instead of just seeing them in the jewelry box occasionally. I wish I could find the link to that post to share with you, because reading this made me realize that I was just storing things instead of using them. Even if a quilt becomes more tattered or a plate gets broken, I’d still rather have the memories with those items rather than my home being a storage unit for things we don’t touch. Beginning to use my sentimental items alone has contributed to less cluttered storage space, and using those items brings me joy now rather than the sadness I used to feel when opening a box and being flooded with forgotten memories.

There are a million and one strategies that you can use to reduce the clutter in your home and we can all have different approaches. Whatever method you use, I know that you’ll feel like a new person as you reduce the clutter because I certainly have. I found that by having less things stuffed in my home, I get to actually live rather than spending all of my time working on my things. There’s less to put away. We don’t need as big of a house. I don’t have to spend entire weekends trying to get things back in order. And most importantly for me, I don’t loathe putting away my laundry as much as I once did. Instead, I can tidy quickly and easily and the rest of my time can be spent exploring new hobbies or spending time with family and friends. There are still some areas and closets that I hope to tackle. However, the progress I’ve already made feels amazing.

Keep in mind that I’ve been working towards this goal for three years now, so don’t feel like you have to tackle everything in one weekend. Instead, start in one little area and do a bit as you can. And be sure to read the book. It very well could change your life.

*The earrings pictured above belonged to my great aunt and I wear them often.*

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Sewing Scissors

My own pair of sewing scissorsSometimes it’s funny what little bits and pieces of things you hang on to from your younger years. When you’re thinking back on life, there’s most likely a few specific, seemingly insignificant, memories that stand out. You might remember this one particular time at the park or that day that your Dad spilled Cheerios all over the kitchen floor. In the big scheme of things, these specific memories may not have much affect on the entire picture. For some reason though, these little pieces tend to linger in your mind.

For me, there are several memories of this sort that I could share, and maybe someday I will. For now though, I want to talk about sewing scissors. For anyone who is crafty or grew up in a home where there was even a bit of craftiness taking place, you know what sewing scissors are. You know that the absolute only thing you can use them for is fabric. There is never an instance where it’s acceptable to use them for anything else. Not paper. Not plastic. Not cardboard. If the house were burning down and you could save it by cutting one strip of tiny cardboard somewhere, you best not use the sewing scissors.

The part I find most comical about this is that for the longest time, I didn’t really know why this was the case. Honestly, it didn’t really matter if I understood the reasoning…I just better not use those scissors for anything but fabric. As I grew older, I collected bits and pieces of craft items, and even though I didn’t actually do much sewing, I had sewing scissors. When I decided to make Matthew bow ties for Christmas, I bought a fresh pair. Immediately after, I made sure the husband knew not to use those sewing scissors for anything else. They were simply sewing scissors. Months later, I realized he had been avoiding a certain pair of blue-handled scissors thinking they were the sewing ones. Poor fella.

I was reading this post on A Beautiful Mess recently and her references to sewing scissors made me think more about this. (Side note: I really, really want to make that dress.) First, I thought about how interesting is was that “sewing scissors” are somewhat of an industry term. People who’ve never been around much sewing likely don’t see the importance. Anyone who’s ever been exposed to much craftiness though, understands.

Furthermore, it made me think more about what we learn and how we’re raised and the impact it has on who we become. I was very lucky to have a Mom who created things regularly when I was a child. She was a painter, crafter, seamstress, handy-woman….you name it. I watched her create many things from nothing and saw her explore many different creative outlets. While I didn’t pick up as many of her talents as I would have liked, I was still exposed to that world. I know not to touch someone’s sewing scissors, and I’m not afraid to attempt making something. Lately, I’ve really been exploring my own creative talents a bit, and I finally feel comfortable in pushing myself creatively. I have my own sewing scissors, and I’m glad that I was shown these creative opportunities.

If you don’t have your own sewing be scissors, don’t fret. Maybe sewing isn’t your thing. Maybe crafting in general isn’t your thing. Something is though. Sometimes we have to explore our options a bit before we really find something that speaks to us. Regardless of what your “thing” is, I think it’s important to share it with someone. Allow people to see what you do. Expose your children/friends/coworkers to your talents. They’ll be thankful to have seen something new, and your demonstration may be what leads to them having their very own sewing scissors one day.

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Learning to Wait

Using my Get To Work BookThere have been a few situations in the past where I’ve waited what would seem like “too late” to start something. There have been deadlines approaching that I’ve been aware of and rather than marching full speed towards them, I’ve waited. On the outside, it looks somewhat like procrastination. However, I’ve recently decided that it’s more like patience.

With practically everything I do in life, I need for it to feel right. Over 90% of the time I operate on my gut feeling. It’s how I opened my first business at 23. In a depression. It didn’t make any sense on paper, yet it felt right. My gut feeling is the same thing I used when getting married in 12 days, selling that first business, and opening another. To the outside world, none of those made much sense. However, my gut said go for it, and I did. I’ve used the same approach for many big and small decisions over the years and it’s working for me. That’s not to say that I have always made the right decisions…that’s a different post entirely.

At first, I myself thought it was procrastination, followed by a bit of luck when things worked out. It seemed like I’d put things off until the last minute and then somehow it would magically come together. I’d feel lucky or that I squeezed right by the doors of doom. Recently though, I started seeing this tendency of mine in a new light. I realized that things did usually come together, even if it happened on a different timeline than I originally deemed appropriate. I learned that I shouldn’t force things to happen, just to make progress early on. Instead, if I’d practice a bit of patience, things would likely still come together in the end. Rather than force myself to do something, I should just have a little bit of faith and wait until it felt right.

I have two recent examples for you. First, I’ve been toying around with the idea of a new business. If I were going to run with this idea as originally planned, I would need to travel out of town during the month of August. I was forcing myself to make a decision and get things in order, so that I would meet this self-imposed deadline. It just didn’t feel quite right though, so I hadn’t bought that plane ticket. It seemed like I needed to, yet something was holding me back. As I waited just a bit longer, things started coming together, although they’re shaping up a bit differently than I originally thought. I didn’t need to “get it together and make a decision” as I had been telling myself. I just needed to wait.

Similarly, I’ve known that I’d need to hire a new assistant since June. My current assistant would be moving in August, and I had a few months to find someone new. I had plans to attend a few trainings, etc. before I started the interviewing process and those didn’t work out like I had planned. I was also considering revamping the position a bit and morphing it into something that would enable my real estate business to grow. Weeks started passing. I went to Alaska. My trainings didn’t work out as planned, and I hadn’t made those decisions on what the position would look like in the future. More weeks passed. I’d sit down to write an email or Facebook post about the fact that I was hiring, and the words just wouldn’t come. No words?? I never have a problem with words! Somehow though, I couldn’t draft a “now hiring” post or a job description to save my life.

Now it’s August, just a few short weeks before I’d be left assistant-less. I felt like I had procrastinated again. I’d waited too long to start looking. Finally though, I started thinking of it differently. I realized that in the past I’ve thought I was procrastinating, and then things fall together at the right time. I realized that I had much more success with waiting until things felt “right” than I did with forcing things along. I even had that conversation with my husband. I said that I didn’t know what this position would look like and that I didn’t have any strong leads. Even though time was seemingly running out, I just needed to wait.

On August 6, just 14 days before my current assistant would be leaving, I received a call that there was a young lady interested in the job. I knew this girl from previous encounters and had always been very impressed with her. As soon as I learned that she was interested, I was immediately excited. We breezed through the interview/hiring process over the next couple of days and by August 10 I had hired a new almost-full-time assistant. I’m thrilled with my decision and I can’t wait to see how my business grows. I’m also looking forward to the opportunity to build and new relationship and I have a distinct feeling that I’m going to learn a lot from her loving, positive attitude.

I’ll spare you the rest of the details for now, as they’re not the true reason for this post. My ultimate point here is that sometimes you just have to wait. If something isn’t feeling right, it might not be the right timing. Rather that force a new idea or plan into action, sometimes you must practice a little patience. I certainly do not mean make a habit of procrastination. (If you find yourself procrastinating often, I talk about that here.) Instead, I’m talking about those times where things feel forced…those times when the right move or decision isn’t clearly obvious. If you’re a person who operates primarily on instinct as I do, you may need to just step back and wait for a bit. To the naked eye, it likely seemed that I was avoiding the search for a new assistant. On the contrary, I finally identified that I shouldn’t force it and the right person for the job was just around the corner. If anything, I’m learning to be patient and to follow my intuition.

I feel like I’ve learned another important detail about myself this month. Identifying these tendencies has taught me how to give myself a bit a grace. I’m learning more about how my own mind and body operates every single day. With this new quality identified, I feel even more in charge of my life. Learning this, coupled with the promise of a very large and very positive change in my business, has given me a new dose of inspiration. I’m feeling recharged and motivated, and I’m more than excited to see what the next several months hold. Here’s to big discoveries and bright futures!

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This week.

flower in AlaskaI didn’t have a blog post go live yesterday or today. My usual post schedule is Mondays and Thursdays. The goal is always to have a post go live twice a week on those days. This week we have posts on Monday and Tuesday because it was my frieniversay and my wedding anniversary. I still intended to have yesterday’s post go live though. However, it didn’t.

This week has been a bit wild. Yesterday, I spent 5 hours with one client and 3 with another, all while negotiating other contracts and navigating my other job responsibilities. I didn’t actually get home/eat dinner/see my husband/sit down until almost 9:00 pm. While that’s not my usual schedule (thankfully), it sometimes happens. When I look back over this week as a whole, I feel a bit dizzy and amazed that I somehow did it all. That’s actually been the case for me the entire month of July, which explains why I feel so tired.

Some would say, “Pamela, don’t worry about the fact that a blog post didn’t get done. It’s not a big deal.” And they’d be right. I’m certainly not worried about it. However, it is important to me. Posting twice a week here isn’t one of those self-inflicted, nonsensical goals that I dread. Instead, it’s something I want to do. It’s my release and my hobby of sorts. When it doesn’t happen, it’s likely because I let life’s other obligations get in the way…not because I didn’t want to.

So here we are on Friday. Looking back over the week, I did so much. Looking forward to the weekend, I’ll continue to do so much. Today though, I’m thankful for the 20 minutes of quiet time I had this morning. I sipped my coffee with wet hair and read 5 or 6 blog posts that I’ve missed lately. I left my phone on do not disturb for a little longer and pretended that I hadn’t already gotten 100 emails. I sat and I sipped, quietly and in peace. Today, I’m immensely thankful for those twenty minutes. I also understand that life is an ebb and flow situation; right now things are a bit cramped and busy. Soon enough, it’ll slow back down.

Today, I’m also thankful for help. Matthew and I made some room in our budget to get some help around the house and today someone will be coming to clean my floors, etc. I am SO thankful for this luxury. If I had to leave home today thinking about floors and bathrooms that needed to be cleaned, I think I’d crumble. Instead, I can leave and focus on other things because I have help today. It’s a fantastic feeling, and I’m immensely grateful for that.

Finally, I’m thankful for a bit of family time that I’ll get to enjoy this weekend. My sweet niece will be spending the weekend with us and I’m looking forward to adventures with her.

If you’re feeling a bit stretched thin and under pressure right now, I’m with you. Just remember, though, everything is for a limited time only. It’ll soon pass, and you’ll be able to breathe a bit easier. It’s part of the ebb and flow, and we’ll both be in a different place soon.

I wish you the happiest weekend of all! See you back here on Monday.

(P.S. The above photos is one of the beauties my husband took in Alaska. Details from that amazing trip are coming soon!)

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Rest

Using Get To Work Book to plan time to rest.Just typing the title of this post makes me sigh. Sometimes it seems nearly impossible to make time to actually rest. The fact of the matter is though, we all need rest and we need it more than once a year or once a quarter. For me, I’ve found that it’s much easier to not to rest than it is to make time to rest. This past weekend I knew I had to make some time to wind down. Let’s talk some about why and how.

I felt that out-of-control/need-to-regroup feeling early on in the week. I have been going from daylight to dark lately and with both personal and professional obligations consuming my days, I was starting to feel exhausted. If you sit in the middle of your floor crying while folding your underwear, it likely means you’re past due for a bit of rest. Or you hate your underwear. For me, I needed rest. My week was already packed to the rim, so without canceling appointments, I knew my rest would have to wait until the weekend. I went ahead and wrote it in my new Get To Work Book and was sure to cover the whole block. If I didn’t write this in and promise my husband I would do it, I knew that I’d schedule something. Actually taking the time off is the hardest part for me. I’m able to see that I need it. I understand its importance and value. Just doing it is what I struggle with.

You see, I had to say no to several things both personally and professionally to give myself this time. If you’ve read along here for more than a week, you know that I feel guilty for just about everything. Any time that I have to tell someone no, I feel terrible. Planning for a day of rest is hard for me because I usually have to say no…a lot.

Nonetheless, based on how I’d felt all week, I knew it needed to happen. I had to carve out some time to move slowly. I didn’t want to wash my hair. Or put on makeup. I wanted to wear sweats all day (or actually a shorts/tank pajama set. July in Louisiana = HOT.) I wanted to sit and catch up on weeks of unread blog posts in my feed. I wanted to casually surf Instagram. Paint. Decorate more of my home. Organize my closet room. And just sit. Basically, I wanted to wake up to sunshine pouring into my windows, not to an alarm. I wanted to lay in bed for too long and move slowly when I arose. I wanted to sit until I decided to do something else. And drink coffee slowly. I just wanted (I should probably say needed.) some time to nurture myself. I needed time to rest and time to pay attention to my hobbies and my home. As I’ve mentioned before we all need this time off to be the best versions of ourselves.

On Saturday and part of Sunday I did just that. It was much needed and appreciated. Feeling rested and relaxed was very much so worth the anxiety I had felt over telling people no. I’m approaching this work week feeling much better than if I’d spent the entire weekend working or running around as I usually do.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who doesn’t make time to rest. If your life is anything as busy as mine, it’s likely pretty difficult to carve out that downtime. However, it’s very important that we do. Without rest, we can’t be the best versions of ourselves, and we can’t approach life with a clear mind. We need to relax and rejuvenate in order to have the energy to go full speed towards our dreams.

If you’re struggling to make time for a break lately, I encourage you to make it happen. Schedule some time for yourself and do it unapologetically. You deserve it and need it.

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