Tag Archives: husband and wife

A New Mercedes-Benz

June 1, 2015 Pamela Stephens

This past weekend Matthew and I made a big, huge step in our grown up lives. We bought a Mercedes. We had been casually shopping for a new vehicle for months and months, yet hadn’t really committed to buying anything. This weekend though, things suddenly got serious.

This story begins as “that time I almost bought a Mustang.” Friday night we brought home one of the new, oh-so-fine Mustang GTs and planned to go back and sign papers on Saturday morning. We wanted something fast and fun while we were still young and didn’t need to make room for car seats and soccer equipment. I’ve never been a Mustang fan, yet this new redesign is simply gorgeous. We decided to buy it. However, after driving it home over the weekend, we realized the ride was just too rough and noisy for my daily life. After all, I’m in my car most of the day. While it would be fun to drive, it wouldn’t be as comfortable as other options or conducive to my business.

Saddened by the thought of not coming home with this fancy Mustang, we decided to drive to Shreveport and test drive four or five other vehicles that Matthew had found. We really had no intention of buying a vehicle at this point. I was coming off of a migraine from the previous evening and felt tired and foggy. Matthew had the day off though, and this seemed like a great way to spend some time together.

We pulled up at the Mercedes dealership first, and I just wandered around a bit while Matthew talked to the salesman. I chose two cars right away that I liked and ruled out all of the others. We drove them both and chatted with the salesman. If I were being honest with myself, I’d say that I knew right away that this black Mercedes C250 was mine. It just felt right. There were so many things I loved about the car, and I felt so much more comfortable there than in any of the other vehicles I had driven. Nonetheless, it took me hours to commit to the idea of buying a Mercedes.

Here’s why:
1. It was the most expensive vehicle either of us had ever bought. That’s a bit scary. There’s something a tad frightening about doubling your car shopping budget, even if the money is there. For me, I was making a mental list of all of the other things I could (and maybe should) do with that extra money.

2. I was genuinely afraid of what people would say. This is probably the hardest one to admit and the most prevalent. I’ve only had the car for a few days now and I’ve already heard things like, “keeping up with the Jones'” and “that’s too expensive for me to ride in.” I didn’t want to suddenly be considered a snob, just because I bought a nice car.

If I were being brave, I’d admit that this was one of the main hesitations that I’ve had with buying a new car. When I was added to the Associate Leadership Council at my office, we talked about this very thing at our initial retreat. I hadn’t bought a nice car (even though I’ve worked very hard for it and spend most of my time there) because I didn’t want people to see me differently. All of these thoughts are simply holding me back and things that I have to deal with on a personal level. I took the first step though…I bought the car. Now, I’ll just hope that people will be happy for me instead of judgmental.

3. I’m deathly afraid that someone is going to hit/scratch/dent it. My last car was banged and bruised to no avail and not one person ever stopped to apologize or offer remedy. It feels like a scratch or dent is going to hurt much more in this car. Guess I’ll be that person parking at the back of the lot…

All in all, I am thrilled to be the owner of this new car. I can’t wait to drive it and take it on trips with Matthew. As simple as it is, my favorite features are the illuminated “Mercedes-Benz” on the door sill when you open it, the adorable blue stitching on the seats, the awesome sound system, and the light-up emblem on the front. (It’s almost always all about the details for me.) The safety features are mind boggling also, and I love how well everything is finished. I can’t wait to get the windows tinted and drive from one appointment to the next.

Let’s talk for a bit about the service we received at Holmes Mercedes. Matthew and I both have bought and sold several vehicles. This was by far one of our best experiences yet. As a matter of fact, it was even enjoyable! Most of the pleasantness can be attributed to our salesman, Kenn Posey. Kenn was the polar opposite of your stereotypical car salesman, and so much more pleasant to work with than anyone at any of the other dealerships…and we’d been to a lot. He knew everything we could possibly want know about the car and was not in the least bit pushy. It was almost like we’d brought a friend along for the experience, not a salesman. We were at Holmes Mercedes for several hours and at no point were we frustrated or rushing to leave. If you’re even remotely considering a Mercedes purchase, I recommend that you talk to Kenn first. I throughly look forward to working with them in the future.

There are two lessons to be learned from this story. The first is to always trust your gut, especially on larger purchases. I tried really, really hard to make that Mustang work. However, something told me that it wasn’t the right fit for us. Second, don’t make a decision for you or your family based upon fear of what someone else will think. All too often we let what friends, family, or even strangers, will think or say stand in the way of doing things that will make us happy. Buy that car. Make that move. Quit that crappy job. Dye your hair blue. Do whatever it is that will make you happy, without worrying about what others will think. They likely won’t remember in the end, yet you certainly will. Life is short and you only get one shot, so make it a good one!

Read more:
Our first car purchase.
When we bought a house.
And mattresses….the most riveting of the grown up decisions.

Happy Birthday, Matthew! (+ a rant about hard times)

May 11, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Today is this guy’s birthday. At first, I thought this would be a post about my thankfulness for him. A post about his dedication to our vision and our family. At first, I thought I might share my favorite qualities of his or stories about previous birthdays and adventures. I knew that I’d use this post to celebrate him and everything he does for us on a daily basis.

Then I realized that this post was going to be a bit more than that. You see, the past few weeks have been hard. Honestly, they’ve been hard in almost every facet of the word. I’ve felt like I’m drowning amidst all of the many things swirling around me. Life is like that, you know. Some days/weeks/months are harder than others. It’s part of the ebb and flow of life. You have to take the good with the bad.

Before I continue, I want to be clear about the fact that things are ok. Nothing tragic or detrimental is happening and everything will switch back to a manageable speed soon. Right now though, things feel difficult.

Matthew and I are still adjusting to his new work schedule. Today is his forth day of working in a row, and he usually works 12+ hour shifts. Tomorrow will be his only day off and then he’ll go back for two more days. In reality, working hard to take care of patients for over 12 hours a day is very taxing. At this point in our transition, Matthew still comes homes completely wiped…as would I.

In addition to his work schedule this past week, my schedule has been jam-packed and color coded and scheduled with only minutes to spare between each task. I’ve been working nonstop and putting out fires like its my job (and it is). Let me be clear. I am thankful for a busy work schedule. I love my clients and it pays my bills. On top of working like a mad woman, my social calendar has been equally full. There are state championship games, graduations, weddings, movie nights, and milestones left and right that I need to be present for. I’m closing the door on one compartment of my daily life to immediately spin and open another. The reality is, I haven’t gotten home before 9:00 or 10:00 any this week. Most of the time, Matthew has already been asleep. We’ve literally only had maybe 2 hours of waking time together for over a week.

Amidst fighting to see my husband through our crazy schedules, I’m drowning in laundry. The dishes are piling up, and I’m sure the bathrooms need cleaning. My closet room looks like a tornado hit it and is spilling over with both summer and winter clothes/shoes because I haven’t had time to sort through it all. I’m honestly afraid to look at how dirty the floors might be. I like things to be tidy and organized, and that’s not my life right now.

For most of last week, I was just trying to make it until Sunday. On Sunday, I would clean the house. I would also sit quietly alone on the couch and decompress. I’d read and regroup. I’d relax from what felt like a treacherous few weeks. I’d finally have time to plan something special for Matthew’s birthday. I booked myself up all day on Monday when I had intended to take off and create birthday greatness for Matthew to come home to. I’ll likely feel guilty for that all day, so Sunday was now my only day to create something special for him. Then I realized it was Mother’s Day. Granted, I certainly want to spend time honoring my mother with my family. However, it felt like another task had been piled on top of me. I wouldn’t have time to rest or plan and the laundry probably wouldn’t be done. At this point, I considered running away.

Then Sunday morning came. I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. I made it through several loads of laundry and tidied here and there. I started making a lose plan for birthdaycelebrations. I attended Mother’s Day lunch with dirty hair and no make up. I intended to leave early to finish my 1,000 tasks and buy birthday presents. Then, I had a flat tire. (Razor blade??) Luckily, my brother-in-law and nephew were there to save the day. Nonetheless, my afternoon did not go as planned.

The reality is sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Sometimes you have to realize that you just can’t do everything and that your best will have to be good enough. My best in this moment is that I’ve been present for events even if I didn’t have a gift or wasn’t 100% prepared. Matthew won’t have homemade cupcakes for his birthday. He will have a home cooked meal of his choice and we will likely sit on the couch and watch movies in silence. While I first felt guilty for the simplicity of this evening, I think he will actually be grateful for the time to take it easy. We will continue to step over the heavy duty extension cord that’s powering our washing machine from the kitchen, (The laundry outlet randomly went out last week.) and life will go on. Things will level out and we’ll get back to normal eventually.

While my original intention was to use this post to celebrate Matthew, I couldn’t really do that without explaining a bit of my struggle lately. I needed to do so to get to the heart of why this guy is so great. Even amidst the craziness, he’ll still keep going. He’ll still support me and encourage me when I feel like I’m failing at everything. He’ll still approach life with the same optimism, even though he’s exhausted to his core. He’ll be just as happy with a quiet dinner on the couch as he would have been if this house was filled with 1,000 balloons. He deserves the very best, yet he rocks on, without judging, when I deliver mediocrity on his special day. He expects nothing of me, so that when I deliver something he’s just as thrilled. That in itself is a quality to celebrate.

Despite my own craziness at the moment, I’m immensely thankful for this guy. I’m thankful for his patience and perseverance. I’m thankful for his unwavering love and support and for sometimes letting me be “good enough” instead of great. I don’t think I could make it through this life without you, Matthew Petrus. Happy Birthday.

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Sherman’s – Greenville, MS

April 6, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Matthew and I headed out on a spontaneous weekend trip to Nashville and decided to take the Memphis route instead of our usual trek through Birmingham. We ended up in Greenville, MS around lunch and stumbled upon Sherman’s. When we saw the full parking lot, we knew we must be on to something. From the outside, we expected a mom-and-pop-type lunch place, full of local working folks and a limited menu. Not quite.

(That’s totally not my car.)

When we walked in, we were immediately taken back by how large the place was. I expected 20 tables covered in plastic gingham tablecloths. Instead, it was much larger and had more of an Italian dinner restaurant vibe. The menu was rather large, and they offered several daily lunch specials to chose from. I opted for a grilled pork chop, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, and a salad. Matthew had the crab cake, green beans, baked squash, and cabbage.

The most impressive thing about this place was the fact that EVERYTHING was delicious. Usually at a place like this, you’ll get one awesome item and the rest will be so-so. Typically, most of the menu is edible but nothing to write home about. Not at Sherman’s. With each item we tasted, we were amazed at the amount of flavor. I was most impressed with the green beans and meat sauce. Yep…you read that right. I had never before heard of green beans with meat sauce, but they were surprisingly yummy! Matthew described them as green beans with spaghetti sauce, whereas I thought they had more of a salsa taste. Either way, I’ve never seen anything like it and would definitely recommend you try them.

(I also took this opportunity to make an offer on a house!)

After stuffing ourselves with a main dish, three sides, and rolls/cornbread, they surprised us with a piece of coconut cake. I say surprised because we were unaware that it was part of the daily special. For the record, if you ever want to surprise me with cake, I’m totally down with that. Even though neither of us particularly care for coconut cake, this piece was great! I am literally amazed and the fact that Matthew and I liked every single thing that we were served. That’s impressive!

(By the way, how many tank top problems do you think they had before having to have a special sign made??)

If you’re ever passing through Greenville, I’d recommend a stop at Sherman’s. Greenville is also the home of the famous Doe’s Eat Place. We now have a Doe’s in Monroe, so we opted to find something new to try. It looks like Greenville might be the home to some great, local restaurants…my fav!

Speaking of local restaurants, I plan to launch a new series here on the blog highlighting some local favorites around our hometown of Monroe, LA. I’ll mainly show our favorite local restaurants, but I might also include some of my favorite shopping spots and local attractions. Any requests??

Leave a comment Travel #maptennesse - 2015 - food - husband and wife - travel

MAP Does Dallas

March 12, 2015 Pamela Stephens

One of my goals for the month was to make a weekend trip over to Dallas and spend a bit of time with the husband. Done! What started as a trip to IKEA, ended up being an excuse to get away and celebrate Matthew’s graduation.

Most of our trips revolve around food. Picking a cool restaurant is of utmost importance. Here’s where we ate on this trip:

The Dairy Palace (Canton, Tx):
This is one of my favorite burger joints of all time. We stopped here on the way to Dallas and on the way back. The burgers are some of the best I’ve ever had. They’re world famous and open 24 hours. If you’re passing through Texas on I-20, make a plan to stop here.

Cane Rosso (Deep Ellum):
This was our first stop when we made it to Dallas, and it did not disappoint. The selection of brick oven pizzas is mouth-watering. No need to order an appetizer here because it only takes 75 seconds to cook a pizza! My favorite thing here was the decor. The restaurant was in an old building that had been very tastefully and eclectically redone. My favorite part was the fringe lights. You better believe that I’ll be purchasing one of these if I ever come across one!

Sol Ilandes (Downtown):
This place was in walking distance from our hotel, which is half of the appeal. What started as just picking a convenient place to eat turned into a fantastic meal! They played old country music and the place was filled to the brim with happy folks and high energy. There was a patio with roll up windows on the side that would be a great place to enjoy in warmer weather. The food was pretty great too. The menu was diverse, and the food was flavorful…something that you don’t always find outside of Louisiana. It’s definitely a place I’d recommend to anyone in Downtown Dallas. After dinner, we walked around the corner to Fluellen Cupcakes. The carrot cake cupcake was amazing and my favorite thing about this place was that they’re open late!

Buzz Brews (Deep Ellum):
This might have been one of my favorite stops on the trip. It was across the street from Cane Rosso and had a very artsy vibe. It featured a self-serve coffee bar. (The peanut butter coffee was a crowd favorite…we even order a 1/2 pound to bring home!) We were also incredibly impressed by the food. My banana nut pancakes were off the charts! I was in love with the old faucets in the bathroom…so cool! The bathroom itself is something to talk about. I heard a girl say, “It’s two doors, but don’t let that confuse you…its one bathroom.” I thought that meant you had to go through two doors to get in. Nope. It’s two doors (one for men and one for women), but they lead into the SAME bathroom. There were individual stalls/rooms on each side with the cool sinks in the middle of the room. I’d never seen anything quite like it!

One of the highlights of this trip was that I got to go ice skating for the first time! Matthew has quite a bit of experience, but I had never been on skates. I’m happy to report that I didn’t fall, not even once! They say that ice skating is a lot like rollerblading, which I can agree with…if you’re roller blading on baby oil!

Another highlight was our visit to the Look Cinemas. This is one of those movie theaters that have recliners, serve food, etc. Actually, they offer four different experiences to chose from. (Check out their website…it’s pretty cool.) Matthew and I chose the Look & Dine experience. My favorite part of this theater was the chairs…they were grouped in sets of two, were incredibly comfortable, and reclined! That only thing missing from this experience was a cozy blanket!

The day we headed home, we spent 7+ hours at IKEA. My birthday present from Matthew was to finish out my closet room, so we ultimately went to get some storage solutions for that. We also bought shelves for my office, a new rug, and several other goodies that you’ll likely see around my house soon. As always, it was a fun (but exhausting) day of shopping. Never ben to IKEA? Go! There’s nothing else like it.

All in all, we had a fun trip. We met up with Amanda and her sister Rachel here and there and enjoyed lots of quality time together. I also got two houses under contract while on the road, which is seriously one of my favorite things about this career.

Want to read more about our travels? Check here! Where shall we go next??

Leave a comment Inspiration & Thoughts - Marriage - Travel 2015 - closet room - husband and wife - real estate - travel

March Goals + February Review

March 2, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Believe it or not, we’re two full months into 2015! I’ll let that sink in for a bit…. If you’re like me, that blows your mind a little. Nonetheless, the show much go on. I didn’t set many goals for February, but I’m happy to report that I accomplished all three of them! *Cue the hallelujah chorus.* Here’s my happy report:

1. I attended Family Reunion and came home with several great ideas! I can’t wait to spend some time developing them and getting them into practice.

2. Matthew and I celebrated Valentine’s Day. Even though I almost backed out at the last minute, I pulled it together and made something happen. (By the way, we watched the full SNL 40th Anniversary together the next night, and I’m sort of counting that as an extension of our Valentine’s Day celebration.)

3. I hung MORE THAN three things on the walls!! I think I’m most excited about this one. We have several new things hanging here and there AND we installed a new gallery wall in our bathroom. I can’t wait to show you!!

I’m pretty pumped at how much I got done in February. I’ve even more impressed by the fact that I got so much done even though we had our fair share of wet, crummy, and cold weather. Isn’t it super easy to stay curled up under a blanket and read the internet when the weather is gross?? I’m giving myself two thumbs up for still being productive, despite the yucky weather.

What’s on the agenda for March, you ask? Quite a bit. Here are my basic goals for the month:

1. Spend lots of time with Matthew. Since he just wrapped up nursing school, I’m hoping that we finally get to spend some quality time together! We have a bit of time before he starts his new job, so I’m going to soak up as much husband/wife time as possible this month.

2. Travel to Dallas for the weekend. Matthew and I are planning a quick trip to Dallas, TX. This is mainly to get some items we need for the house, but it’s also for quality time together and to celebrate his graduation. Plus, we’re meeting some friends there…can’t wait!

3. Square away three areas of my home. Yes, this is a little vague. However, I want to leave some wiggle room. I’m not sure what all we’ll find on our trip to Texas, so I’m just hoping that whatever we come up with will complete at least three parts of our home. (To be clear, “parts” can even mean a corner or vignette…I’m being reasonable here!)

4. Paint three new paintings. Painting is my new thing. I’ve been SO excited about it lately. I’ve painted a few new pieces for the house, and I’m hoping to do three more this month! (More on this later this week!)

So there you have it! For me, March is going to be all about creative endeavors and quality time. What are you looking forward to this month? Whatever it is, do it big!

2 Comments Goal Setting - Home - Projects 2015 - DIY - goals - home decor - husband and wife - monthly goals

Nursing School

February 26, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Photo Credit: Staff Photographer – Louisiana Tech University

I made a decision while listening to Grace Bonney’s podcast that I needed to share more about my “real life” here with you guys. Let me be clear up front. I never sugarcoat things or create a false sense of happiness here on the blog. I do, however, tend to share mainly the positive sides of life. I do this primarily because I want this to be a space of positivity and joy. I never, ever want this to be a place that someone leaves feeling discouraged or sad. This does not mean, however, that I don’t face struggles in life. It doesn’t mean that my life is problem-free or that I live in a land of candy canes and rainbows. And unicorns…there should definitely be unicorns. Instead, I just tend to focus on the positive, both as a way of maintaining an upbeat vibe here and as a way of controlling my own outlook on life.

However, I realized after listening to this podcast, that I want to be more “real.” I never want someone to leave this site feeling like I don’t have real-life problems or that their life is so much more screwed up than mine. Yes, I do have a fantastic life overall, but I also battle certain issues daily and have to deal with the crap life throws our way….I just don’t tend to talk about it.

In an effort to show the real-life side of things, I thought I’d talk a little bit about something I’ve been struggling with for the past few months. Matthew wraps up nursing school this week (!!), and if I were being completely honest with everyone, I’d say that it scares the hell out of me. His graduation marks a drastic change in his career (Remember, he’s worked at the family business since we’ve met.), and this equals a complete and total change of our daily routine and way of life.

Overall, I wouldn’t say that I’m afraid of change. I get so excited about progression towards equality and learning things to make our lives more efficient and safe. I think it’s important to evolve and grow, both as individuals and as a society. I get downright excited about my own personal development. However, thinking about putting my daily life in a blender scares me quite a bit.

I like spontaneity, but I like routines. I like knowing what to expect, and I don’t like surprises. Unless you’re surprising me with a cupcake that I didn’t know was coming. That’s always a good idea. Do not, however, tell me that you have a surprise for me and then not give it to me immediately. The anxiety that it causes is unreal. Don’t let me see you whispering or find out that you’re texting about a surprise birthday present either. There’s a chance that I’ll mark you off of my friends list before I even receive that mystery gift. I don’t like anticipation, and I don’t like being caught off guard. Maybe this is a control or insecurity issue. I’m not sure. I am certain, though, that not knowing what to expect makes me wildly uncomfortable and nervous.

This is Matthew strapping Mom into a forklift cage to take her up to the warehouse loft.

I think this is where my fear of Matthew graduating comes from. For the past two years, we’ve had a routine. It was a routine of working and/or studying most of the time, but we adjusted to that. I know what to expect. Within the next few weeks, that will all change. Will he work 12 hours shifts? Will his off days be weekdays? Will I have to adjust my work schedule to match his? I don’t have the answer to any of these questions at this time. I literally don’t have a clue what our new routine will become, and I don’t know how to prepare for it.

Even though I’ve been immensely nervous about what the next few months will hold, I am incredibly proud of Matthew for his accomplishment, and I know that we’ll adjust as needed. I’m so proud that he was able to go back for another degree in a field that he had very little experience in, all while continuing to work as much as humanly possible and still be a great, supportive husband. He still took out the trash, cooked most of the dinners, and saved an ample amount of time for me. He did all of this while not cracking from the pressure. I know without a shadow of a doubt that me doing the same things would have led to multiple tear-filled breakdowns. I admire his courage and strength as he juggled being a new husband among all of his other responsibilities. Thank you, Matthew, for being strong and courageous and supportive through this process. You did an amazing job.

I say all of this without disregarding the struggles that we had along the way. We didn’t adjust to nursing school without having to realize and learn many things about our marriage. Matthew started nursing school just a month and a half after we were married, so we were (and are) still learning about what we needed from and how to live alongside each other. This didn’t come without a few tears and screaming matches. (Ok, those were both from me.) We both had to learn how to be married while also learning how he would succeed in nursing school. Matthew had to learn what he needed to survive while also learning what I needed from him. I had to learn how to get what I needed from Matthew amidst his school and work requirements, while also learning how I needed to support him in these endeavors. It took some time, but we finally hit our stride. Now, we’re embarking upon a time where we have to find a new groove, and I’m afraid of that.

Will we have the ups and downs that we had in the beginning while adjusting to a new routine? Will we struggle through the process of finding a new normal? Or will the adjustment come and go effortlessly? I honestly don’t know. I do know that I’ve likely worried about it much more than necessary. I do know that we’ll figure it out as the time comes. I also know that it’s been a struggle for me, but that deep down, I am excited to see what the future holds. I am excited for Matthew to open new doors and experience a new industry. I’m excited to see what he does next and where this new career will take us. I am also excited to share with you both my excitement and insecurities. This is real life, and that means a series of ups and downs. Wins and loss. Pain and pleasure. We’re in this fight together.

Here’s to new beginnings and overcoming fear. Here’s to a bright future ahead and celebrating both the failures and accomplishments. And here’s to my commitment to share both with you. Thank you for following along and letting me share my journey in this space. It truly means the world to me.

7 Comments Marriage 2015 - husband and wife

A New Couch

February 23, 2015 Pamela Stephens

When Matthew and I decided to buy our current house, we knew we’d need to get a few new furniture pieces for the home. This was for a few different reasons, actually. First, our rent house was a combination of his things and my things from before we got married. Most of it was either hand-me-down furniture or pieces that we’d each had for quite some time and that had miraculously survived the college years. It was time for some new furniture. Secondly, our current furniture didn’t really work very well with the new living room layout. Therefore, we knew we’d be purchasing new furniture soon after the move.

I began searching high and low for a new sofa and was rather unsuccessful for quite some time. Everything that I liked was either crazy expensive or didn’t really work any better with the layout. Finally, I decided that a 3 piece sectional would suit our needs the best. In the beginning, I was quite firmly against purchasing a sectional, because I really wanted something more sleek looking. Most of my struggle in the sofa search was that I really wanted something with a mid-century modern look but that was also comfortable. As far as I can tell, this combination doesn’t exist…at least not for someone with our budget. Finally, I decided that I would give a sectional more thought. It would really work best for the room layout and give us the comfort we were looking for. Besides, I’m wanting to host more parties, and a sectional would give us more seating.

After searching high and low on the internet, I finally decided to give our local Haverty’s a shot. I browsed their website and selected a few options to check out in the store. Both Matthew and I agreed that the Piedmont was our favorite. Here’s a tip to consider before shopping for furniture: always, always measure your space before you go. Practically every piece of furniture looks much smaller in a gigantic warehouse than it will in your home. We knew that the Piedmont would be a tad larger than what we were originally looking for, but it still fit our needs.

As soon as Matthew and I decided to purchase this couch, I couldn’t hardly contain my excitement. I really felt like this sofa was what I needed to finally pull our living room decor together. Wrong. I had a general idea of what I wanted to do with the space when the sofa arrived, but none of it really worked out as I planned. Even though I was excited about our new sofa, I was struggling to pull things together in the room. If you’ve ever had a similar experience, you know that it’s pretty frustrating. I basically had to start from scratch.

I still haven’t quite decided what I’m going to do with the room. Do I want only black, white, and gray pillows? Do I want to add an assortment of colors as I had originally planned? Gallery walls? Book shelves? I’m just not sure yet. However, I’ve learned over the years that I can’t force myself to make such decisions right away. Instead, I’ll need to find that one piece that’s missing that’ll give me the necessary inspiration for the whole room. However, I’ll try to make it as beautiful as possible while we wait for my inspiration to strike.

Even though the new sofa has shaken up my decor plans a bit, I’m still very pleased with our purchase. I like the texture of the fabric and the color is just what I was hoping for (if we went with a neutral, that is). I also really liked that the pillows that came with it were the same color and fabric as the couch. Most of the time, sofas come with a patterned pillow, and they’re almost always not my style. If you’re in the market for a new sofa, I’d give Haverty’s a shot. I was thoroughly pleased with their customer service, delivery options, product selection, and price.

Now, who wants to come help me figure out what to do in this living room?? Also, if you’re interested in our other fascinating grown up purchases, be sure to read about our new mattresses…which I’m still sooo crazy about…and our first car to purchase together. Next up, a discussion on retirement planning and dentures! Just kidding…or maybe not.

2 Comments Home - Our First House #mapfirsthouse - 2015 - grown ups - home decor - husband and wife

Valentine’s Day 2015!

February 16, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I mentioned last month that I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. This was mine and Matthew’s third Valentine’s Day together, and we’ve really never done much to celebrate in the past. However, I set a goal to actually do something more special this year.

Originally, I had planned to do something sort of like this. I planned to cook a nice dinner, get dressed up, and decorate the house. I’m definitely NOT going to plan a dinner outing on the same day that practically everyone else will be out, so I thought it would be fun to do something really special at home. However, after being in Orlando for a week and going out to Louisiana Dancing with the Stars the night before, I just wasn’t as motivated to go all out. I started to feel a bit guilty as the day passed though and threw something together at the very last minute.

We didn’t dress up, but I did throw some decorations on the table right before Matthew came home from work. By decorations, I really mean a few candles and wedding photos that I dug from a box in the closet. (If you’ve never sat at a table and stared at photos of yourself, you should try it. It’s incredibly awkward.) Nonetheless, I had no red or pink décor lying around, and I thought it would be great to have a reminder of where we started.

We had already planned out the menu, so I didn’t have to panic over that when I decided to make this happen at the last minute. I have been wanting to try the slow cooker mashed potatoes from A Beautiful Mess, so I used this as an opportunity. The recipe calls for 5 pounds of potatoes, so I only made half. Matthew and I do NOT need to eat 5 pounds of potatoes…even if it is a holiday! I topped mine with green onions and cheese, and was very pleased with the outcome. This would be a great recipe to try if you were planning a big meal for friends or family.

When he got home from work, Matthew made steak fingers from the Pioneer Woman. This recipe is fantastic, and it’s one of my favorite things that Matthew makes…which is why we had it on Valentine’s Day. Generally, I prefer the fingers to be in smaller, more bite-sized portions, but you can make them however you like. These paired well with the mashed potatoes, and we also added red grapes, as the Pioneer Woman suggests. (If you’re thinking the grapes are an odd addition, I was skeptical at first, too. However, it makes total sense once you try them together. Give it a shot!)

After dinner, we watched a girly movie and then turned in for the night. We were originally planning on watching the 40^th Anniversary Saturday Night Live Special together, since we were both looking forward to it. When we realized it didn’t come on until Sunday night, we had to make other plans. I normally do not count watching TV as “quality time together,” but if I get to choose the movie, I’ll let it count. You say cheating…I say smart.

After being out of town/on the road and quite busy lately, a simple night at home was just what the doctor ordered. In just a few short weeks, Matthew will be graduating from nursing school and our daily lives are going to change a bit. Without knowing exactly what the future holds, it was nice to sit and chat and reconnect as we prepare for what’s ahead.

What did you do for Valentine’s Day? Even though it’s not my favorite holiday, I think we might doing something special next year too!

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Nail Holes & The Nesting Place

February 2, 2015 Pamela Stephens

This post is a bit of a combo post. First, I want to bring attention to the fact that I finished my first book in many, many years back in the fall. I honestly can’t remember when the last time was that I actually finished a book that I started. I was probably a little girl. It was probably Babysitters Club or Sweet Valley High. (Not kidding.) I’ve learned a lot about how I feel about reading lately, but we’ll talk more about that later. For now, let’s all celebrate the fact that I actually read a book from start to finish. Feel free to bring me celebratory cupcakes if you’d like.

Now, let’s talk about that book. I’ve been following along with The Nester’s blog lately, and I’ve seen her book mentioned here and there around the internet. Basically, this book is about designing a home that you love around things that you already have or can put together cheaply and easily. It’s not about going in debt to furnish a picture-perfect home and it’s not about following all of the rules.

Instead, The Nester’s motto is, “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” Honestly, this motto is what drew me to her blog and the book to begin with. We all know that I struggle with perfection. It’s not uncommon for me to just not do something if I don’t feel like I have the time to do it perfectly. This is especially true for decorating our home. I have hundreds and thousands of ideas, but I delay implementing any of them for the fear of finding a better idea or not haven’t enough time to plan it out completely. It’s quite tragic.

When I stumbled upon Myquillyn’s blog, her message struck me. I shouldn’t be waiting on perfection. Instead, I should be creating a home that works for Matthew and I, and I can do so without a perfect plan. There are many beautiful things out there that aren’t perfect. As a matter of fact, I tend to find that the imperfections are what’s most beautiful. Why, then, do I put things off in a quest for perfection when I don’t even want a perfect home?

As I read more of Myquillyn’s posts, I knew that her message was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed someone to coax me into just doing things, both at home and in my life in general. I hesitated to buy the book because I knew I had a terrible track record of not finishing books. I also didn’t want to read a design book that “showed you how to properly mix patterns” or some other surface level design strategy. Finally, I broke down and purchased the book for my iPad and then struggled to put it down again.

After reading the first few pages, I knew that I needed to really hear Myquillyn’s message. I knew that this book was far less about how do decorate and far more about why. After all, I don’t feel like I need help with how to do it. Instead, I needed someone to steer me towards actually doing things instead of waiting for the stars to align in a scenario where I have plenty of time and money and inspiration. The Nesting Place helped to me see all of the scenarios in which I was accidentally waiting for perfection. I was waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect shower curtain, and in reality, I had practically everything that I needed to at least make things beautiful for the time being. If I found a better rug/chair/ottoman/wall hanging later, then that’s fine! I could simply change it later. If you find yourself struggling with decorating your home or if you want some creative ideas for creating something beautiful on the cheap, I highly recommend reading the book.

This brings me to the second part of this post. There’s a section in The Nesting Place dedicated solely to nail holes. I almost shiver as I write this, because the thought of putting an unnecessary nail hole in my freshly painted walls, sends chills down my spine. After all, I paid a pretty penny (I suppose “pretty pennies” are worth more than ugly ones.) to have all of the holes filled and every single surface of this home painted. However, Myquillyn says, “Is there anything less risky in life than creating a one-millimeter hole in a wall that can be filled with your finger and some putty in two seconds?” She goes on to say, “Nail holes are just a part of living in a house. I’d say that a nail hole is the lowest entry-level risk-taking action you could have in life, other than getting no whip on your coffee.”

As crazy as it sounds, this section of the book was a huge turning point for me. I was putting off hanging things on my walls (something that I’ve desperately wanted to do for months) for the fear of putting a nail hole in the wrong place. How silly! That very day, I went and put a hole in the dining room wall. I hung a wreath as part of my Halloween decor…it’s wasn’t even a permanent decor item! As silly as it sounds, this was a huge step for me. I made a decision to not let such a tiny, little obstacle hinder me from having a beautiful home right now.

Each day that passes leads me closer to the day that Matthew and I will move from this home. I made a commitment that I wouldn’t put off decorating this home as I had done with our rent house. However, we’ve now lived here for 5 months and most of the house isn’t decorated as I’d like. Some of this stems from needing lots of new furniture. Some of it is from a lack of time. However, most of my hesitation to decorating has been a fear of missing the mark. It’s from a fear of hanging something in the “wrong” place or purchasing the “wrong” rug. These fears kept me from finishing our last home, and if I’m not careful, I’ll see the same thing happen in this home.

After reading Myquillyn’s book, I realized that most of my hesitation surrounds nail holes. I also realized that nail holes are really such a small issue, both literally and figuratively. The reality is, there’s a large chance that I’ll actually like where I hang something. The other reality is, if I don’t like where it’s hanging, I haven’t made some huge, life-altering mistake. I can simply move it. I can just as simply fill in the nail hole. After finishing this book, I decided to no longer let waiting on perfection be an obstacle for me in creating a home that I love.

How many areas of our life do we approach in a similar manner? I think it’s safe to say that we often let fear of the unknown be an obstacle for us in creating a life that we love. Maybe we don’t go after that promotion for a fear of being told no. Maybe we don’t tell someone how we feel, because we’re scared of how they’ll react. Maybe we don’t put nail holes in freshly painted walls, because we’re afraid that it will be the “wrong” spot. Whatever it is, these little fears can quickly and sneakily be a total road block for us in creating the lives we want. Rather than holding on to fear and the struggle for perfection, let’s tackle life, one little nail hole at a time. Sometimes the risks we need to take are tiny. Sometimes they’re large. Either way, we’ll never know the outcome without first taking the risk.

What is one thing that you can do today to take a step towards the life that you want? Whatever it is, don’t spend too much time thinking about it. Just do it! For me, that means going to out another hole in the wall. Use this link to order the book and I receive a small commission!

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January Review + February Goals

January 28, 2015 Pamela Stephens

We’re nearing the end of January, so I thought it would be a good time to reflect on how I’m doing with my 2015 goals so far. In general, I’d say that I’m doing decently well with some and not as great with others. Some might find this discouraging, but I say it’s the nature of the beast.

Here are the things I’m doing well at:

Waking up by 6:00-6:30. I’d be lying if I didn’t say this one is probably the toughest goal that I’ve set. Maybe ever. I seriously hate getting out of bed in the morning, and it’s been quite a struggle. However, there have been two instances where I’ve slept well past the 6:00-6:30 goal, and it’s had a tremendous, negative effect on my day. I’m going to keep this one up, but I’d say that we have a love/hate relationship at this time.
Blogging 2x per week. I had to make 3 posts one week to make up for missing a post the week before, but I’ve met the monthly number. In my mind, that totally counts. I only made 4 posts in January of last year, so the fact that this is my 9^th post for the month feels like a huge accomplishment…that’s more than double! I attribute a lot of the success so far to having a good deal of help from my assistants. (Thanks, girls…you’re the best!!) I can’t wait to see how this plays out as my work schedule fills up, but we’re headed in the right direction for now.
Monthly quality time days with Matthew. I marked this one off too! I can already see that the first half of the month is going to fly by, and we’ll likely be squeezing this time in at the end of each month. However, the purpose of this goal is to make the time happen, so as long as I can mark this off by the end of each month, I’ll be happy.
Host a party. I wouldn’t exactly count this as a party, but I did have some friends over for my birthday. Since the big goal here is to spend time with the people I love, I’m counting this as a party…and filling in a bubble on my goal sheet. 🙂
Replacing mediocre things. I wouldn’t say that I did anything major towards this goal. However, I did make a pretty big step for myself. Hold on to your seats…this is a big one – I replaced the hand soap in our bathroom. Riveting, I know! On a serious note though, I was forcing myself to finish this bottle before buying a new one. The bottle was old and dingy. The nozzle was nearly clogged, and I didn’t like the texture or smell of the soap. The worst part was, it always seemed to leave little specks behind in the sink, so I was constantly having to clean the sink after washing my hands…so counterproductive! Nonetheless, it was still an unfinished bottle of soap, so I figured I needed to finish it before buying a new bottle. Not true. I threw this disgusting nuisance away and replaced it with a fresh, new bottle that smells lovely and doesn’t make a huge mess. One small step for mankind, one giant step for me!

While I did made some progress towards these five things, I didn’t do so well at working out regularly, random acts of kindness, or volunteering. Some of these are more annual or quarterly goals though, so I’m not too discouraged. Regardless, I feel like this month was pretty successful, and I’m excited to keep working towards all of these goals.

As we wrap up January, I’ve been thinking about what I want to do in February. Honestly, I struggled to set goals for February. For some reason, I just couldn’t really wrap my head around what I wanted to do. Finally, I settled on a few simple goals for the month.

Leave with at least 3 big things (but no more than 5) from Family Reunion 2015. Family Reunion is the big, annual conference for Keller Williams. Agents from all over the world come together for a jam-packed week of training, networking, and planning. It’s nothing less than overwhelming. Since I tend to want to do all things at once, I hope to pick just 3-5 things from the conference that I want to implement in my business this year.
Actually celebrate Valentine’s Day. Since we’ve been married, Matthew and I have never really celebrated Valentine’s Day. Honestly, I’ve always thought it was a pretty dumb holiday. This year, though, I’d like to make a little bigger deal of it. I think Matthew and I will do something special! (Side note: I can totally count whatever we do as a QT day and mark it on my sheet!)
Hang at least 3 things on the walls. You’ve seen this pop up on several of my monthly goals lists. I have made a tiny, little bit of progress, but not near as much as I’d like. If I were being completely honest, I’d say that I struggle with just doing things. Instead, I have to plan everything out perfectly first. This is especially true for putting holes in my new walls. (Read: On Waiting for Perfection if you don’t believe me.) However, I’m growing a bit tired of bare walls. This month, I’m hanging some things. Period!

How are you doing with your goals so far this year? Don’t be discouraged if you haven’t knocked them out of the park yet. I haven’t either. We still have hundreds of days left in 2015, and there’s plenty of time to work towards whatever dreams you may have. Join me in setting a few small goals for the month, and let’s show February who’s the boss!

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