Tag Archives: 2015

Off to Alaska we go!

June 22, 2015 Pamela Stephens

In just a few hours I will be on my way to Alaska with my husband, with family waiting to greet us there. This is a trip that we’ve planned and eagerly anticipated for over a year. I distinctly remember how far away it seemed when we first started discussing it. I remember it feeling like the actual trip was so far away. Well, it’s here now!

Matthew and I will be traveling most of the day on Tuesday and will arrive in Anchorage late on Tuesday evening. I wish I could tell you what we have planned for the week…I don’t even know though! Matthew’s grandparents lived in Alaska for a bit and they’ve made these summer voyages back for many years since moving back to Louisiana. They’re our trusted tour guides and we’re luckily going to see the best of the best through the help of well-traveled and experienced former locals.

Am I nervous about not having some sort of agenda? Certainly. Do I have the slightest idea how to pack for Alaskan summers? Not at all. Am I eagerly awaiting to board that plane, despite my uncertainty? Most definitely!

I’m sure that I’ll share bits and pieces of our trip on Instagram and probably Facebook as I can. You can follow along with #mapinalaska (Matthew and Pamela in Alaska). At this point, I’m not even certain how much cell service or Internet access we’ll have. I’m assuming that it might be a bit spotty, depending on where we are and what we’re doing that day. (Don’t worry, I’ve made plans for work while I’m away.) I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least somewhat looking forward to an opportunity to unplug for a bit.

I don’t have many expectations for this trip since I don’t really know much about what’s ahead. However, I am expecting to see some of the most beautiful scenery that I’ve ever seen. Everyone who’s ever been to Alaska raves about its beauty. I simply can’t wait to see it!! I am expecting to be somewhat taken back by my surroundings, and I bet I struggle to take it all in. I bet I’m immensely inspired. I hope to approach this trip with the enthusiasm of a small child, seeing something amazing for the first time. I’m also looking forward to breathing the air there. (And drinking lots of water so I don’t dehydrate from altitude differences.) I can’t wait to see how the air feels. I also just recently learned of the Anchorage Market. I did a bit of perusing through Google images and I’m suddenly very excited to hopefully see this. The wares look very different from any market I’ve ever been to and I must see it! (I also must make a plan for getting lots of souvenirs home!)

I’m sure it’s very easy to pick up on my excitement over this trip. My enthusiasm easily overtakes any uncertainty that I feel over what to pack and not knowing a “plan.” I have lots and lots of work to do today in preparation for being away. However, I’ll be subtly counting down the hours to myself. I’m one of those people who love to travel. I love seeing new things and having all of the experiences. One of my more recently set “goals” is to eventually travel for at least 3 months out of the year. (I haven’t put this goal “out there” yet, so you’re the first to know!) I feel like there’s SO. MUCH. to see out there in the world, and I absolutely want to see as much of it as possible. I want to be that lady sharing accounts of my overseas adventures and stories of little restaurants here and there. I am thrilled that Alaska will get to be in my list of stories to tell. I also can’t wait to get home and mark it on my travel map!

I plan to share the highlights of our trip here when we get home. In an attempt to truly be present and experience this trip, you’ll miss a few posts from me. I’m truly taking the next couple of weeks off, so I’ll be back here on My Neck of the Woods on Monday, July 6. While I’m away, do something fun! And make plans to do something exciting soon…like go to Alaska!

Also, I just stumbled upon this article about how vacation is a mindset, not a location. Great read!

(The above photo is from our United Airlines eTicket. Thanks United!)

Leave a comment Travel #mapinalaska - 2015 - travel

Sweatpants

June 18, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I saw something on Instagram recently that said ladies shouldn’t wear sweatpants. My first thought was, “damn, I like sweatpants.” Then I quickly switched to something more along the lines of, “you’re not the boss of me.”

I feel like I rather often see all sorts of lists or internet memes that say ladies don’t do this or that. Or do this or that. Here’s the deal though. There’s almost always exceptions to the rule. And I almost always maintain that rules are made to be broken. Today will not be the day that I let someone’s innocent overgram or retweet be the reason I feel guilty about wearing the oh-so-amazing and incredibly comfy sweatpants.

Here’s my middle ground. You (the Internet) think wearing sweatpants is lazy and unkempt. I think wearing sweatpants is amazing. Here are a few of my suggestions for landing somewhere in the middle of this heated and controversial topic. (Yes, I’m being dramatic for comical effect. It’s neither heated, nor dramatic.)

1. I never, ever wear pajamas in public. Regardless of your age or lifestyle situation, I do not think pajamas are public attire. If I saw you at Walgreens at 3:00 am, sleep-deprived and pain-ridden, wearing your favorite Tweety Bird pajamas (that’s a nod to my big sister), then I most certainly would not judge. However, 2:00 pm at Walmart is not where I’d consider this attire acceptable. True pajamas are not for public wear. If you must wear something comfy and/or baggy in public, get acquainted with yoga pants and sweatpants and of course, Nike shorts. Those can be worn in public without looking like you don’t at all care about life. (Side note: driving to the Starbucks drive through does not count as a public appearance, and I have certainly been known to wear pajamas for that outing. Only God can judge me.)

2. I think you should always look your best. Do I always follow this? Absolutely not. Somedays I flip the mirror the middle finger and roll out regardless. (Not literally. Again, that’s comic relief.) I don’t think all women have to wear lipstick or that we simply must wear makeup or curl our hair. I do think, though, that we should always attempt to put our best foot forward. If you leave the house doing nothing to look your best, what does that say about your approach on life? We don’t all have to be gorgeous centerfold models wearing the most expensive and latest trends with not a single hair out of place. I’m certainly not. I do think presenting yourself in the best possible light is a must. Wearing ill-fitting clothes with unmanaged hair and dirty shoes is not doing that. Do what you can to look your best.

3. Wear “nicer” versions of sweatpants. I will continue to wear sweatpants at home, and I don’t think Hitler himself could stop me. Here’s the trade off though. Rather than wearing paint-stained, holy, half-bleached sweats from 2002, I can wear lounge clothes that look somewhat nice and fit decently. This has actually been something I’ve been working on through my quest for a beautiful life. I had a tendency to not buy nicer lounge clothes because I already had comfy items that I could wear at home. Granted, they may be old as dirt or ugly as homemade soap (I don’t even know what that means.), yet I already had them and they were fine. After all, no one would see me wearing that 1997 softball tshirt with flannel pajamas from 2002 with just the right number of holes. That’s not what matters though. I see me. My husband sees me. You might would even see me if you dropped by unannounced delivering freshly baked cookies. (That’s my attempt at working on your subconscious. You’re getting very sleepy…. Bring me cookies!)

On a serious note though, I shouldn’t be selling myself (and my husband) short just because I don’t want to invest in lounge clothes that no one else will see. Granted, I will likely continue to wear those favorite flannel pajama pants until they literally disintegrate. I will, however, not wear them with the baggiest, ugliest tshirt that I own. I will also primarily wear nicer lounge clothes. I will buy thing that are nice and pretty and fit me well to wear around the house. The looking-your-best principle should also apply at home.

I provide all of these tongue-in-cheek “rules” while 100% understanding that there will be those days. Somedays you will just want to be lazy at your own house. You might have yesterday’s make up smeared down your face. Your hair might be 100 levels of greasy. The only thing you might want to wear are those over-sized sweats from college. It’s ok. We all deserve a bit of down time where you throw complete caution to the wind. On the regular though, try to look your best. You’ll feel better personally, and I’m sure those around you will appreciate it. I believe doing things for your self esteem is of utmost importance and these are a few ways to nurture that. Most importantly, understand that there’s always gray areas. No one can tell you what’s “right” or “classy.” You get to decide and make your own rules.

I am making a commitment to not be “too slouchy” even at home. However, if you try to take my sweatpants away from me, I might kill you. You’ve been warned.

Leave a comment Fashion 2015 - What I Wore

Where to find small (and large) shoes!

June 15, 2015 Pamela Stephens

Let’s start this post with a few fun facts about me.

I really, really like pickles. And no, it doesn’t mean that I’m pregnant.
As a kid I wanted be a horse rancher in Montana. It’s safe to say that I didn’t really understand what that meant.
I cannot whistle. It’s possible that I could make some sort of a whistling sound should my life depend on it. I wouldn’t bet on it though.
I have crazy amounts of adrenaline and freaky fast reflexes. If you were going to drop your baby, you’d want me standing nearby. Just sayin’.
I have a tiny, tiny foot. Thank you, Mammaw Bryant.

That last one there is what brings me to today’s post topic. I have always had such a small foot. At this point, my ten year old niece wears a larger shoe than I do. Even six and seven year olds have been known to pass me up in the shoe department. What size shoe do I wear, you ask? A women’s 4.5. (That roughly translates into a kid’s 2.5 or 3, if you were wondering.) If you’re thinking that a women’s size 4.5 doesn’t exist, you’re partially right. You’ve probably seen a size 5 on a sale rack a time or too, yet I doubt you’ve ever seen a size 4 or 4.5 lingering about. What does this mean? I often have to special order my shoes.

As you may know, I have a bit of a thing for shoes. (You can see a bit of my collection here and here.) My collection of shoes comes partly from the fact that if I ever find a pair of shoes that actually fit, I buy them. Don’t have anything to match them? Doesn’t matter. Have two other pair in a similar color? Doesn’t matter. If they fit, I buy them. Finding shoes to fit a tiny foot isn’t something that happens every day, so I purchase anything that fits, knowing that someday I will need that exact shoe and not be able to find it.

Without further ado, here are links to my favorite places for finding small shoes. If you know anyone who has a small foot, please share this post with them. I guarantee that they’ll be appreciative.

Sole Society: This was one of my latest shoe-shopping discoveries. Sometimes their inventory might be a bit low in the small sizes. However, some of my favorite heels came from here, so I recommend checking their site often. If you purchase anything from this exact link I get a $25 credit, so please do that!!
Nordstrom: This retailer offers quite a few styles in smaller sizes. This is actually how I stumbled upon Sole Society. Sometimes these are a bit pricier, so I recommend Nordstrom for those high-quality basics that you’ll use for years to come. This is one of the sites where you can usually find a good selection of larger sizes too.
Cinderella of Boston: This was the first company that I found that made smaller shoes. Prior to finding Cinderella of Boston, I just had to get lucky and find shoes that ran small. They actually go all the way down to a women’s size 2! Some of the styles aren’t very youthful or trendy. However, they usually have a few great options each season, like these and these. I signed up for the catalog and get very excited when it arrives in my mailbox.
Gap Kids: This isn’t a joke. Most of my favorite sandals come from here. Obviously, you don’t typically find heels or wedges in the kid’s department. However, their sandals are usually very cute and more adult looking than most. Actually, the sandals that I get compliments on most, usually come from Gap.
Dillard’s: Dillard’s offered an “extended sizes” option several years ago. Again, you have to weed through the less-trendy styles a bit. However, sometimes you can still find a few good options. They go down to a size 4 and up to a 12.
Leatherhood: I just recently stumbled upon this Etsy shop for leather sandals that are HANDMADE IN GREECE! You have to admit, that’s way cool. The prices are totally reasonable for a handmade, leather shoe and shipping costs aren’t bad either. I haven’t ordered from Leatherhood yet, though I plan to soon. If you beat me to the punch, let me know what you think!

So there you have it. I sometimes stumble upon shoes here and there that by chance fit my small foot. However, these resources are where I get most of my shoes. Having a small foot certainly comes with its own set of frustrations. For example, I usually can’t just run and go pick up a shoe to go with a certain outfit if needed. It was also incredibly frustrating when I owned a boutique because I’d order the cutest shoes and not be able to wear most of them. I have a rough life, can’t you tell?

All joking aside, if you know of someone who has a small foot, be sure to send them a link to this post. I can promise you that they’ll be overjoyed for some new resources and will be forever grateful to you. You should also send it over to anyone who wears larger than a size 10. Those sizes are also difficult to find and several of the resources above do offer larger sizes too.

As always, thanks for reading along and if you have any other suggestions for places to find extended sizes, PLEASE leave details in the comments. I am always looking for other options, and would love to check out some new places!

(You might recognize that top photo from last week’s trip to Natchitoches!)

2 Comments Fashion 2015 - fashion - my favorites - What I Wore

Have Courage & Be Kind

June 11, 2015 Pamela Stephens

I created this sketch as one of my very first projects when I started the 100 day project. It was shortly after the release of the new Cinderella movie and the quote had really stuck with me. Ever since sketching it, I’ve had it hanging on the mirror where I get dressed every morning, and I see it often as I walk to and from my closet room. I also set the photo as the screen saver on my phone. I firmly believe in surrounding yourself with positivity and this sign is one of the reminders that I thought I’d like to have daily. After seeing it for several weeks, I started having a few thoughts on what it actually meant for me.

courage – noun: the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous.

It made me think about what it means to have courage. In the obvious sense of the word, it means to do things that you’re afraid of. We typically think of courage as facing a certain fear, like skydiving even though you’re afraid of heights. While it’s a great reminder to have that sort if courage, for me it means a little more.

I chose to surround myself with this reminder because I want to constantly have the courage to have difficult conversations. To ask hard questions or to ask for more from people. I want to be courageous so that I keep doing and dreaming, even when other people tell me I can’t. I want to have the courage to be my true self, even when I’m afraid to let people close to me. I want to be courageous enough to write and share my thoughts here, even when people don’t understand why I blog. I want to be brave enough to keep going when my feelings are hurt, rather than letting it stop me in my tracks. I want be courageous enough to compliment strangers…to tell them sweet things that they’d love to hear. I want to have the courage to live a bold, unwavering life, even when the people around me don’t do the same.

Yes, I do want to have the courage to try new and exciting things. However, for me, being courageous in my every day life is more important. I want to approach each small, daily task with courage and bravery. To me, how you live your daily life is what makes up the sum of your entire life. Most of us aren’t faced with the opportunity to climb mountains or jump from airplanes every day. However, we do have the opportunity to face our own feelings. We have the opportunity to have real conversations with people, and we have the opportunity to be who we really want to be. Without demonstrating courage in our daily lives, we run the risk of life slipping right past us. We run the risk of missing out on wonderful opportunities and not ever learning who we actually are.

Of course, you should have the courage to explore amazing adventures. Today though, I charge you to show some courage in your daily life. Maybe you want to ask for a promotion. Do it. Maybe you’ve thought that lady at the coffee shop has beautiful hair. Tell her. Maybe there’s a dish at a local restaurant that you haven’t tried. Taste it. Maybe you’ve needed to talk to someone about some tough things going on in your life. Make that call. There are a million and one ways that we can demonstrate courage daily. What will you do today that’s courageous? Remember, the reward is often worth so much more than the risk it takes to reach it. Do something courageous today. And then tomorrow too. It’s totally worth it.

Leave a comment Inspiration & Thoughts #the100dayproject - 2015 - inspiration

Natchitoches, Louisiana

June 8, 2015 Pamela Stephens

On Saturday, Matthew and I made somewhat of a spontaneous trip over to Natchitoches, LA for dinner. Matthew had tagged along with me to show a couple of houses, with the last one being on Caney Lake in Chatham. As we were driving to the lake, I had the thought that we should have made plans to go over to Natchitoches after and stay the night. Natchitoches is quite known for their large selection of adorable bed & breakfasts, and I’ve been dying to try one. After showing the house, we decided to head on over to Natchitoches even though we didn’t make prior plans. We weren’t prepared to stay the night. However, we could still grab a quick dinner before heading back home to Monroe.

We were only in Natchitoches for a few short hours, just enough time to grab a bite to eat and walk around Front Street. One of my favorite things about Natchitoches is the beautiful brick-paved streets. They add such character to the Front Street area. It’s also hard to miss the beautiful Cane River running right alongside the shops and restaurants.

Matthew and I had a quick dinner at Mama’s Oyster House and then walked along the river a bit before heading home. Live music was set to start at Mama’s at 8:00 and we just missed it by an hour or two. We’ll certainly make plans to go back for the music soon. After soaking in the scenery for a bit, Matthew and I headed home. We took a different route back to Monroe than how we’d came and thoroughly enjoyed driving our new car. This was the first time we got to really drive the car…curvy backroads and hills and such. We truly enjoyed the evening!

Spontaneous adventures like these are what my dreams are made of. For me, making memories of this sort are the stories that I’ll tell for years to come. I simply love doing something unplanned and adventurous. Have you taken a spontaneous little trips lately? Where should we go next?? If we head back to Natchitoches soon, which bed & breakfast should we try? I’d love to hear suggestions!

If you’d like to see some of the other places we’ve been, check out the travel category!

9 Comments Travel 2015 - husband and wife - travel

1920’s Prohibition Party

June 5, 2015 Pamela Stephens

One of my sweet friends turned this big 3-0 recently and we enjoyed a themed party to help her celebrate. As soon as I received the invitation, I was pumped because I love an excuse to dress up. I was also thrilled to see what she had planned, because I am hoping to have a big 30th birthday party too!

I loved this party for a few reasons.

We dressed up. Seriously, what’s not to love about putting on period attire and partying with friends?? At first I was thoroughly disappointed because I’d passed on THE perfect dress for $15 (!!) on the sale rack just weeks before receiving the invite. Nonetheless, Matthew and I pulled some outfits together and had a blast. I even wore lipstick! That never happens.
The hosts had a LEGIT bar in their home. I have never seen anything quite like it. We thought we were entering a random living space. Nope. It’s was a full-fledged bar with everything that you might expect at a legitimate pub. Matthew and I were in awe and 100% impressed.
It was perfectly themed. There was 20’s music, a 20’s drink menu, a password to enter, mugshots, and everything you might expect from a typical party in a hidden bar during the Prohibition era. I love a good theme, and this one was done perfectly! (Great job, Meghan and friends!)

I’d be amiss if I didn’t tell the full story of how this evening played out. This Saturday was one of those days where there were 15+ things that Matthew and I had been invited to and would have loved to do. Our final plans included a wedding for a sweet friend/former employee at 6:00 and then this birthday party at 8:00. We decided that we could make both events by leaving the wedding reception a tad early and arriving to the birthday party a bit late. I spent alllll day on Saturday searching for an outfit that I could wear to both events….something that was fitting for the party, yet not too “costume” for the wedding. We finally made a decision, and Matthew and I would add accessories in the car between events (hats, pearls, vest, etc) to make our outfits a bit more costume-worthy. In an interesting turn of events, we ended up going to the wrong wedding.

Yes, you read that correctly. Matthew and I arrived and parked at what ended up being the wrong wedding. You see, the bride and her best friend are both getting married this year and I had confused the venues in my head. Rather than being where we should have been, we were at the location for the friend’s wedding that will take place in November! Can we all just be thankful that I noticed the names on the sign and Matthew and I didn’t actually walk inside?!

This seems like it might have been a simple mistake with an easy fix. Wouldn’t we just drive across town to the correct location?? It wasn’t that easy. The actual location of this wedding was about an hour away. Even though we had arrived a few minutes early, there still wasn’t time to make it to the actual event. I felt terrible!

Now, Matthew and I had two hours to spare before heading to the birthday party. What do you do when you’re slightly dressed in costume, starving, and have time to waste? Dinner, of course! We sat at River & Rail for a bit and talked about how completely silly I was to confuse the events. We also started making some loose plans for my 30th birthday party (!!) which was very exciting.

Our evening didn’t go quite as planned, and we had a 50% success rate of showing up where we were supposed to be. That’s not too bad, right?? If anything, we ended up with some great stories to tell about an awesome bar in a new friend’s home AND of showing up at the wrong wedding. Part of me wishes we would have just attended that other ceremony and pretended to be so-and-so’s cousin. We could start our own version of Wedding Crashers! We might could have pulled it off if we weren’t in half-costumes. Prohibition Party (3) Nonetheless, it was a fun-filled evening that we’ll likely remember (and talk about) for years to come. I think the moral of this story is that if you invite me to your wedding, remind me to double check the invitation!

Have you ever showed up to the wrong event? You should tell your story in the comments so that I feel better about myself! 😉

Interested in more costumes? Check out these posts!
1990’s Party! / Pirates! / Audrey Hepburn!

Photos provided by Meghan Olinger and Pamela Petrus.

4 Comments Fashion 2015 - costume - friends - husband and wife - What I Wore

A New Mercedes-Benz

June 1, 2015 Pamela Stephens

This past weekend Matthew and I made a big, huge step in our grown up lives. We bought a Mercedes. We had been casually shopping for a new vehicle for months and months, yet hadn’t really committed to buying anything. This weekend though, things suddenly got serious.

This story begins as “that time I almost bought a Mustang.” Friday night we brought home one of the new, oh-so-fine Mustang GTs and planned to go back and sign papers on Saturday morning. We wanted something fast and fun while we were still young and didn’t need to make room for car seats and soccer equipment. I’ve never been a Mustang fan, yet this new redesign is simply gorgeous. We decided to buy it. However, after driving it home over the weekend, we realized the ride was just too rough and noisy for my daily life. After all, I’m in my car most of the day. While it would be fun to drive, it wouldn’t be as comfortable as other options or conducive to my business.

Saddened by the thought of not coming home with this fancy Mustang, we decided to drive to Shreveport and test drive four or five other vehicles that Matthew had found. We really had no intention of buying a vehicle at this point. I was coming off of a migraine from the previous evening and felt tired and foggy. Matthew had the day off though, and this seemed like a great way to spend some time together.

We pulled up at the Mercedes dealership first, and I just wandered around a bit while Matthew talked to the salesman. I chose two cars right away that I liked and ruled out all of the others. We drove them both and chatted with the salesman. If I were being honest with myself, I’d say that I knew right away that this black Mercedes C250 was mine. It just felt right. There were so many things I loved about the car, and I felt so much more comfortable there than in any of the other vehicles I had driven. Nonetheless, it took me hours to commit to the idea of buying a Mercedes.

Here’s why:
1. It was the most expensive vehicle either of us had ever bought. That’s a bit scary. There’s something a tad frightening about doubling your car shopping budget, even if the money is there. For me, I was making a mental list of all of the other things I could (and maybe should) do with that extra money.

2. I was genuinely afraid of what people would say. This is probably the hardest one to admit and the most prevalent. I’ve only had the car for a few days now and I’ve already heard things like, “keeping up with the Jones'” and “that’s too expensive for me to ride in.” I didn’t want to suddenly be considered a snob, just because I bought a nice car.

If I were being brave, I’d admit that this was one of the main hesitations that I’ve had with buying a new car. When I was added to the Associate Leadership Council at my office, we talked about this very thing at our initial retreat. I hadn’t bought a nice car (even though I’ve worked very hard for it and spend most of my time there) because I didn’t want people to see me differently. All of these thoughts are simply holding me back and things that I have to deal with on a personal level. I took the first step though…I bought the car. Now, I’ll just hope that people will be happy for me instead of judgmental.

3. I’m deathly afraid that someone is going to hit/scratch/dent it. My last car was banged and bruised to no avail and not one person ever stopped to apologize or offer remedy. It feels like a scratch or dent is going to hurt much more in this car. Guess I’ll be that person parking at the back of the lot…

All in all, I am thrilled to be the owner of this new car. I can’t wait to drive it and take it on trips with Matthew. As simple as it is, my favorite features are the illuminated “Mercedes-Benz” on the door sill when you open it, the adorable blue stitching on the seats, the awesome sound system, and the light-up emblem on the front. (It’s almost always all about the details for me.) The safety features are mind boggling also, and I love how well everything is finished. I can’t wait to get the windows tinted and drive from one appointment to the next.

Let’s talk for a bit about the service we received at Holmes Mercedes. Matthew and I both have bought and sold several vehicles. This was by far one of our best experiences yet. As a matter of fact, it was even enjoyable! Most of the pleasantness can be attributed to our salesman, Kenn Posey. Kenn was the polar opposite of your stereotypical car salesman, and so much more pleasant to work with than anyone at any of the other dealerships…and we’d been to a lot. He knew everything we could possibly want know about the car and was not in the least bit pushy. It was almost like we’d brought a friend along for the experience, not a salesman. We were at Holmes Mercedes for several hours and at no point were we frustrated or rushing to leave. If you’re even remotely considering a Mercedes purchase, I recommend that you talk to Kenn first. I throughly look forward to working with them in the future.

There are two lessons to be learned from this story. The first is to always trust your gut, especially on larger purchases. I tried really, really hard to make that Mustang work. However, something told me that it wasn’t the right fit for us. Second, don’t make a decision for you or your family based upon fear of what someone else will think. All too often we let what friends, family, or even strangers, will think or say stand in the way of doing things that will make us happy. Buy that car. Make that move. Quit that crappy job. Dye your hair blue. Do whatever it is that will make you happy, without worrying about what others will think. They likely won’t remember in the end, yet you certainly will. Life is short and you only get one shot, so make it a good one!

Read more:
Our first car purchase.
When we bought a house.
And mattresses….the most riveting of the grown up decisions.

23 Comments Marriage - Other Stuff 2015 - grown ups - husband and wife - Mercedes-Benz

How to Create a Relaxing Master Bedroom

May 29, 2015 Pamela Stephens

There are so many theories on what a master bedroom should be like. I like to think that I have my own set of theories and that they’re likely a combination of the massive amount of rules out there. There’s also a chance that they’re complete, polar opposites and totally contradict the “rules.” Doesn’t matter.

Here’s what I think a master bedroom should be like. It should be calming and relaxing. It should be a safe haven to hide away in. It should either be filled with light or dark and moody…whichever you prefer most. It should be free of clutter and distraction, and it should be a private, comfortable, functional space where you can easily wind down.

Our last bedroom was none of these things. I never “finished” that room (or really even got a good start) . I was immensely stifled by the horrible beige walls, and I had no motivation or inspiration for the space. We had so much extra crap in there and nothing really made any sense. I HATE thinking about that room. I loved it’s beautiful corner windows. That’s it though…nothing else.

When we moved to this house, I knew I’d pick a dark color for the master. I wanted the room to feel dark and moody…the total opposite from the rest of the house. If you browse my inspiration board on Pinterest, you’ll get an idea of the look I was going for. I finally chose a deep, gray paint color (Sherwin Williams Peppercorn), and I think this is the color that my dreams are made of. I think it’s 100% perfect for a master bedroom (It’s also in our dining room.), and I absolutely love it.

I made a commitment when we bought this house that I’d finish our bedroom first. Practically everything you read says that in a time of transition, you should stabilize your bedroom first. It gives you a haven from the madness and ensures that you still sleep well. Besides, we had lived with a chaotic bedroom for so long that I desperately wanted a nice space.

As we began getting squared away, it felt like the master bedroom wasn’t coming together liked I’d hoped. Other rooms were feeling more put together than this one, and I felt like I was slipping into that same messy-bedroom trap. I’ve learned that I absolutely cannot force inspiration, so I just had to be patient and wait for things to come together in my mind. It turns out that our bedroom still ended up being the first room that I felt was complete! I am so, so happy about that.

I’m only moments away from sharing the full room tour, as there are just a few finishing touches that I want to complete first. For now, enjoy these sneak peaks! If you’re feeling like your bedroom is the exact opposite of a safe haven, consider these few items:

Remove any unnecessary clutter. Try not to stack thing in corners or on tops of dressers. Clean corners and surfaces, provide a much more relaxing space.
Fold laundry somewhere other than the bedroom! Baskets of clean (folded or unfolded) clothes spilling over onto the floor, create the feeling of chaos. The first choice wood be to go ahead and put the clothes away (obviously). If that’s not an option, consider storing the clothes baskets in another room until you can handle them.
Use lamps instead of overhead lighting. The light of a lamp or two provides a much more calming environment than harsh, overhead lighting. I almost never use the ceiling light in our bedroom. Lamps are much more relaxing (and romantic!).
Decorate with your favorite items. Some “rules” say to keep things minimal in a bedroom. While that’s an option, I don’t think it’s mandatory. Instead, I say surround yourself with things that you love. Use your favorite pieces and highlight the things that make you the happiest.
Choose a good paint color. As with any room, the paint color can either make it or break it. Like I said before, the awful beige of our last bedroom sucked the life right out of me. I don’t believe that your room color has to follow the traditional guidelines. Instead, choose whatever color relaxes and inspires you the most. I simply love our dark gray walls, and I couldn’t be happier with the color.
Choose good bed linens. Regardless of the style of your room, having comfortable, appealing linens makes a huge difference in how the room looks/feels AND how well you sleep. If you’re going to splurge on anything, choose a good mattress and nice sheets. (Read how much of a difference our new sheets made in last month’s post, and they weren’t even expensive!)

Again, the actual style or color scheme that you choose for the room isn’t as important as how the room makes you feel. The ultimate goal is that you end up with a space that you can retreat to and relax. Our best night’s sleep come from a space in which we feel totally comfortable.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by creating a relaxing space, start small. Remove a few items or tackle one small project at a time. Ending up with a space that you love usually doesn’t happen overnight. However, if you don’t start somewhere, you’ll never reach the finished product. What one, small thing can you do today to work towards a happy space? What one, small thing could you do tomorrow? That’s all you have to focus on….one tiny task at a time.

What will you do today to get started?

Leave a comment Home - Inspiration & Thoughts - Our First House #mapfirsthouse - 2015 - home decor - inspiration

Inspiration for Decorating with Flags

May 25, 2015 Pamela Stephens

In honor of Memorial Day, I thought I’d share a links to a few of my favorite flag finds. Lately, I’ve really been digging American flags as home decor. I’ve actually been looking for a good spot to incorporate the look into my own home, and these links offer some great inspiration.

As with anything kitschy or trendy, the trick is to only implement it in small doses. If you brought in a flag, for example, it’s best to only use one. If you hung a flag on the wall and also added flag pillows and a flag rug, your room would begin to look too “themed.” Similarly, if you added a flag to a room that was primarily red, white, and blue, your room would look like it was decorated for a patriotic holiday. Instead, the flags look best in neutral rooms or mixed with other types of design elements. They work great as a focal point in a room that doesn’t have any similar pieces. The photos below show examples of flags incorporated well.

Here are links to a few of my favorites:

A lot of the flags that you’ll see used are vintage. This photo shows how a newer flag (which will likely be cheaper and easier to find) can be used, as well. I love its contrast against the dark, wood wall.

Source: Kelsey Williams on A Beautiful Mess

This is another good use of a flag in a bedroom. Using it on the white wall provides a strong focal point for the room. You’ll also notice that there aren’t any similar elements in the room. If you don’t care for the boldness of the first photo, this option shows how a more muted color scheme could be used. (Also, I love the mid-century/modern vibe in the rest of this home!)

Source: Brooke Fish on A Beautiful Mess

This example shows how a flag can be used in a more polished and modern manner. Framing the flag gives it a more put-together look. As you can see, it’s also a great way to cover a large wall.

Source: Eden Passante on A Beautiful Mess

The use of the flag in this retail store is another good example. Again, it looks great on the wood wall and coordinates well with the industrial vibe of the store.

Source: Gant Rugger via Retail Design Blog

Here’s another good example of using a flag without any similar elements. Since there aren’t other flag or red/white/blue decor in the space, the flag stands out and looks trendy instead of themed.

Source: The Selby

One of the easiest ways to include a flag in your decor is through a pillow such as this or this one from Etsy. A pillow is a good way to test whether or not you like the look without committing to a large flag to hang on your wall. Remember though, just add one and don’t pair it with a star or striped pillow unless you want it to look like you’re planning a 4th of July BBQ!

If you notice from the links above, several of my inspirations were found through the At Home series on A Beautiful Mess. If you enjoy looking at inspiring, well-designed homes, I highly recommend checking out this feature. I could spend hours looking through and admiring these homes!

Speaking of patriotic decor, I’m thinking of going back for this wooden eagle. What do you think?? Have you seen any other good examples of ways to decorate with flags? Leave a link in the comments!

Edit: I hit publish on this post and then saw this beauty on Instagram. It was too perfect not to share!

Leave a comment Home 2015 - home decor - inspiration

Let’s talk coffee.

May 20, 2015 Pamela Stephens

First of all, I’m still pretty new to the coffee world. I’ve only been drinking coffee for a little over a year and a half, but boy, it doesn’t take long to become a fan! Since I’m still quite the coffee drinking novice, this post probably won’t mean much to you experts out there.

At the risk of sounding incredibly silly and trivial, starting to drink coffee has literally changed my life. It was suggested by a friend that I try it, and I was hesitant because I strongly disliked the taste. One day, Matthew suggested that I try the white chocolate mocha from Starbucks, and I was hooked. Let’s just call it my gateway drink. Since then, I’ve probably spent a quarter of a million dollars at Starbucks. In no time, the people at my local spot would have my coffee ready by the time I made it to the checkout counter. I even took them a Christmas present! You call this crazy. I call it service.

To make a long story short, I knew that I’d have to branch out from my daily Starbucks for two reasons. One, the white chocolate mocha has twelve pounds of sugar in it. That’s just not good for the figure. Plus, we would likely have to take out a second mortgage to keep funding my new habit. Nonetheless, I was totally convinced of coffee’s magical powers.

After getting used to the coffee taste through the white mochas, I decided to ease myself in to less sweet options. (Spoiler alert: If you think this post will end with me drinking black coffee, you might want to check back in ten years. Not there yet.) Next, I moved to the hazelnut and caramel macchiato. These are equally delicious but have a fraction of the sugar. After adjusting to something not quite so sweet, I finally took the biggest step of all….making my own coffee at home.

This sounds a little silly, but it was so difficult! I’ve learned that I work best with only a few options to choose from, and I had no idea where to start on the coffee isle! Not only was I overwhelmed by the options, it also didn’t taste very good. In October, I decided that making a decent cup of coffee at home would be one of my 2015 goals. (You’ll notice that this goal didn’t make the final cut because I was actually feeling pretty good about my progress by mid-December!)

Today, I’m sharing details of my new coffee love because I’ve finally found several at-home options that I like. Again, these are not super fancy options that’ll blow your mind. Instead, they’re simple, affordable products that can be found at practically any grocery store.

My favorite coffee blend is the Community Coffee Hotel Blend. Everyone kept telling me to try to Community Coffee. I was stubborn for a bit and stuck with Folgers because I wasn’t trying to get all fancy. Boy, what a difference! After switching to Community, I don’t know why I even wasted my time with Folgers. We also tried the peanut butter brew from Buzz Brews that we found on our trip to Dallas, and it was delicious!

My next important discovery has been creamer. Any serious coffee drinker knows that creamer will make or break a good cup of coffee. My tip top favorite creamer at this point is Bailey’s Irish Cream. I’ve also come to like several of the International Delight creamers including Almond Joy and Hazelnut. (I’m a huge fan of hazelnut, apparently.) I love how many options International Delight offers and have enjoyed making my way through the options.

I’m definitely still learning and experimenting in the coffee world. Even though I’m getting better at making coffee at home, I still thoroughly enjoy my trips to Starbucks and other local spots. I am proud to be making progress on making my own coffee though. It’s definitely more convenient on Saturday mornings when I’m not quite ready to change out of my PJs! Lately, I’ve been considering taking my home brewed coffee to the next level….with an espresso machine. I live on the wild side!

If you have any suggestions for the most delicious coffees or creamers (or espresso machines), please share! I’ve enjoyed trying different products, and I’d love to find some new favorites. Leave a comment below if you have a favorite that I should try. Here’s to delicious cups of coffee! And dreams of espresso machines! And starting coffee mug collections!

Leave a comment Home 2015 - for the love of coffee