Category Archives: Inspiration & Thoughts

We could all use a little encouragement every now and then!

The Day I Changed My Mind About Blogging.

Blogging at pamelapetrus.comI’ve been writing here for several years now (Several technically means three or more, so that’s accurate.) and it’s been such a fascinating ride! I’ve grown as a writer, a photographer, a story-teller, and a sharer. I’ve experienced ups and downs, small victories, and a full range of other emotions. I’ve learned how to listen to my own feelings, if for no other reason than to be able to reiterate and clearly communicate them here. At the risk of sounding trite, starting this blog is one of the things that I’m most proud of myself for doing and thankful for. Recently, I’ve realized a few things and I thought I’d take a quick moment to share.

  1. I feel like I’ve finally come into my own. At first, I worried a lot about what I’d post. Even when there were only a few readers, (Thanks, Mom.) I analyzed every word and was truly concerned about what people would think of me. Don’t get me wrong…I still worry more than I should and often cringe when hitting publish. However, I feel like I’ve hit a groove. I’ve been creating regular content for over a year now and I’ve grown so much more comfortable with my voice.
  2. I should take myself more seriously. At first, I’d use a poorly lit photo because “it didn’t really matter that much. Only a handful of people would see it anyway.” I excused half-assed work because I didn’t have thousands of eager follows. Lately, I’ve learned that I’m selling myself short with that sort of attitude and that I need to hold myself to the same standard whether I have 10 readers or 10,000. I recently “applied” for a writing position in which the process alone scared the shit out of me. Prepping my application was a big slap in the face in regards to how low of a standard I’ve held myself to. It was a turning point in which I decided I needed to act more legit, no matter how many readers I have.
  3. I really did become a better writer by churning out regular content. When I first started this little project, my husband told me that my first step should be to write tons of posts. What?! Without a perfectly-designed platform to share them on? Without one million dedicated followers?! It felt like such a waste to write and write without a reason. (And I didn’t follow his precise instructions — who’s surprised?) Nonetheless, he was right. The more I wrote, the more comfortable I became and the more easily I could articulate my thoughts. I’m probably not going to win any literary awards just yet. However, I can say with 100% certainty that I’m a better writer today than I was three years ago. And for that reason, I’ll continue to share here so that I’ll be even better three years from now.
  4. I love where my audience is right now. I went through a bit of a period where I felt so pressured to do more. I needed more followers, more comments, more repeat readers. I needed more content and more shares. Bullshit. Those things don’t actually matter. It turns out that I’m actually happy with the level that I’m on right now – I’m just not happy with how nonchalantly I’ve approached it. I have enough readers. I have enough comments. What I don’t have enough of is confidence that I’m enough.

It seems silly to think that this little space on the internet could have aided in my personal growth as much as it has. When I first started, I didn’t even quite know why I was doing it. I didn’t have a goal in mind necessarily; I just knew I really, really wanted it. Looking back, I can clearly see that I needed an outlet. I needed a place to spill my thoughts and ideas where I felt like I could possibly use them to encourage or motivate someone else. I needed a place where I was telling my story…both the ups and the downs. Now, over three years later, I can honestly say that I’m a better person and more self-aware than I was because of this blog. I’m a better writer and communicator and I’m definitely more supporting and encouraging of others. Something about putting your life “out there” twice a week will certainly make you more understanding of others!

As I wrap up a year of regular content (I’ve posted every Monday and Thursday for a year now!), I realize just how influential this space has been for me, and I’m thankful that I took the leap. Deciding to post regularly was a huge commitment that felt incredibly regrettable and daunting at times. I’ve felt brave and scared, talented and incapable, strong and weak…and experiencing all of the emotions has made me a better, stronger person. My intentions are to continue this endeavor and in doing so, I can’t wait to see how much I grow over the next year. I can also encourage you with certainty to attempt your big ideas and dreams. Whether you sink or swim, you’ll inevitably learn something and to me, that’s what life is about anyway. 2016 is in full swing. Will it be a year of change and growth? Or will it be another year that slides by without any exciting transitions? You decide.

How to Get it All Done

How to Get it All Done at pamelapetrus.comWe could probably uncover thousands of posts on this topic if we did a quick Google search. I think we all struggle with the concept of getting everything done at some point. It’s so easy to feel like we’re falling behind as our to do list grows and grows. Then, we see a coworker or someone on the internet who seems to have it all together and is doing more than we could even imagine. At first, I think of that internet famous quote, “You have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyoncé.” It’s a little silly, yet so accurate. We all have the same number of hours in a day. Why do we sometimes feel like we’re the only ones not getting anything done? Today, I wanted to offer a bit of perspective on the topic.

I often have people ask me how I do everything. How do you blog, work, travel, and still wrap fancy-looking presents? When do you have time to sip coffee or read books? What about the laundry or groceries? I had this exact conversation with a close friend when I sent out our moving announcements.  There’s a spoiler here, or a cheat code, if you will. If you don’t read anymore of this post, be sure to pay attention to this one point. Although, you should definitely keep going because quitters never win. Are you ready?

No one does it all.

I don’t do it all. You don’t do it all. That perfectly put together lady down the street doesn’t do it all. We all do some things, not all things. It’s easy to compare ourselves to someone else, yet we forget to take the entire scenario into consideration. That being said, here are a few tips for bridging that gap in your mind.

  1. Decide what you want to do. Since we can’t do everything, we must choose what’s important to us. Your list will look different than mine and vice versa. If you need to, make a quick list of all of the things you want to do. Then, prioritize them, keeping in mind that you will only be able to focus on some of them, not all. We aren’t super heroes, so pick the most important things to you.
  2. Do whatever you chose really well. If you decided having a home cooked meal every night is what’s most important to you, do that. Keep in mind that you’re deciding to forfeit another opportunity in using that time for cooking, and that’s perfectly fine. Whatever you decide fills you up should be what you focus on and what you do really well. Cut yourself some slack on those other things. I, for example, choose to write, wrap pretty presents, etc. These sorts of creative tasks take the place of time I’d spend cooking or cleaning. I made that choice and therefore don’t try to do everything else. I do what I chose and feel good about that.
  3. Stop comparing yourself to others. When you find yourself thinking so-and-so has it more together than you, stop it! They chose their priorities just like you did. There are most definitely areas they’ve chosen to ignore, even if they’re not immediately obvious. The reason that we often feel inferior is because we take note of the items someone else is doing that we’re not. When we see them accomplishing something that we’re not, it makes us feel like we’re dropping the ball on life. Rather than taking this approach, focus on the things you are doing well. Remind yourself that they’re doing awesome with this part and you’re doing awesome with that other part. It all levels out and we’re all dominating something.

The most important step in feeling like you get it all done is realizing that you don’t have to. It’s abandoning the thoughts in your head that tell you otherwise. Bid them farewell. The reason Beyoncé gets so many bad-ass things done in a day is because she doesn’t do something else. I guarantee Beyoncé isn’t spending her time scrubbing dishes. Instead, she’s using her 24 hours to do what she chose. That’s what we have to do too. Choose. And then do those things, ignoring that little voice in our head that tells us we should be doing something else.

New Coffee Nooks & Change

New Coffee Nooks and Change. Read more at pamelapetrus.com.I’m sitting in my new coffee nook as I type this post. I’m staring out our big bay windows watching the world wake up. There’s frost covering the ground and the bird bath is frozen solid. I’m covered up and cozy in my favorite fuzzy blanket given to me by my oldest niece. Matthew is sitting next to me, likely catching up on the news while I’m reading about removable wallpaper. If this is sounding too glamorous, I’ll point out that just inches away there are tubs stacked head-high of decor from my birthday party and there are definitely cake crumbs on the counter. Life isn’t perfect, you guys. I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.

However, this post isn’t about my immediate surroundings or the weather outside. It’s about change. It’s about dealing with that change, or better yet, learning to welcome and embrace it. The last several weeks have been allll about change. Imagine changes in my home, my business, and my family. I almost want to call it a major overhaul, yet I know that’s a bit dramatic. One of these changes was moving the breakfast table to the dining room to use as a temporary workspace. This meant, moving our morning coffee spot to the chairs in the breakfast space. This seems simple, and for many people (like my husband) they wouldn’t miss a beat. For me, even something this small can be overwhelming.

On one hand, I love to be spontaneous and adventurous. On the other, I value a routine. I think that I feel balanced as long as the routine is the most prevalent and that some consistency remains among the spontaneity. When I feel like everything is changing at once, I feel anxious. And that’s precisely how I’ve felt the last month or so. As I sit staring out this new window, I think about all of the changes. I realize that I want these changes. I realize that they’re all good and that everyone is still alive amidst the chaos. I realize no one was harmed in the making of this story. We’re alive. We’re well. And we’re happy. Thinking through these things makes me want to “go with the flow” and “embrace change,” while knowing that those two principles don’t ring strong in my emotional wardrobe. Nonetheless, as I sip coffee (that’s likely getting cold as I type) from a new location, I understand that I’m practicing being gracious through the transition periods. I’m practicing bravery or better yet, courage.  My hope is that when the next wave of changes roll through, I’ll be even better at navigating them.

It’s a bit silly to think about how much aversion I have to change sometimes. Why would someone put up such a fight when they know change is inevitable? When they want the change? I can’t answer those questions yet, and I know that I may not ever understand. However, I can hope that I’ll become better at it. I can consider each new endeavor as practice. I can focus on staying calm when I see that things are adjusting around me. I can learn to love to sip my coffee from this new nook and understand that someday…maybe even soon…I might sip it from somewhere else.

How to Live a Beautiful Life

How to Live a Beautiful Life. Read more at pamelapetrus.comI’ve dabbled with the idea of a beautiful life here on the blog before, yet I’ve never quite perfected that speech. I’ve talked about the quest to get there and shared little windows into my own idea of a beautiful life, yet I haven’t event finished the dialogue in my own mind, much less developed words eloquent enough to share. Today, I want to finally talk about what a beautiful life means and how to get there.

First, let’s talk about why this is important. Why does it matter if you have a “beautiful” life or not? And isn’t life just ugly sometimes? How can we avoid that? At first glance, it seems like this concept is something from a self-help book that isn’t even attainable for the average person. Wrong. This concept is something I’ve stewed over for several years. It was born from the idea that I wanted to truly love my life and be thrilled about both the possessions and people that surround me. I had this dream of waking up in a lovely space, putting on clothes that I loved, and using various items throughout the day that made me happy. In this dream, I’d sip from an inspiring, beautiful coffee mug while covered in the coziest blanket and sit somewhere in a beautifully decorated home where every corner was filled only with items that bring me joy. There was no clutter or items or colors that I hate. At first, this was just a dream. At first, it seemed like an impossible feat to get there. Then, I realized that I simply had to start somewhere. If I started replacing a few mediocre items here and there with beautiful things, I’d eventually only have things that I loved. If I started thinning my possessions a bit at a time, I’d eventually reduce clutter and be able to have a beautifully decorated home without excess piling up here and there. I finally realized that like any other dream, you just start somewhere and if you work hard at it, it can eventually be a reality. I’m a couple of years in to the process of making my daily life look just like this dream and here’s how I’m doing it:

  1. You must decide what a beautiful life looks like for you. For me, it was getting rid of clutter and replacing things that were “good enough” with things that were beautiful and pleasing. Your beautiful might look completely different than mine. To determine what your beautiful life looks like, simply think about your most perfect day. If today was an ideal, amazing day for you, what would it look like? What are you doing? What are you wearing? What’s the room look like? Make a list of the items that stand out. These colors, textures, and items could be the making of your own beautiful world.
  2.  Determine the key elements that you’re missing from your ideal world. In your vision, you might have noticed lots of natural light. You might have been curled up in a cozy corner, reading your favorite book. If you identify that you’re missing natural light, a short term solution could be to change out darker, light-blocking drapes to something more airy. A long term solution could be to eventually install larger windows or make a plan and work towards a new home with more windows (and I can help with that!). If you dreamed of a reading area, you could simply create a cozy nook somewhere in your home. That could be as simple as getting rid of a piece of furniture you don’t really need and bringing in a comfortable chair, lamp, and table. Don’t make this process too complicated. Just do something…anything…that makes you feel more relaxed and excited about your world.
  3.  Realize the magnitude of the project. The next step is to realize that you won’t transform your entire life in one Saturday afternoon. It most likely won’t happen in a matter of weeks or months. I’ve been working towards my ideal life for a couple of years now, and while it’s a thousand times better than what it was when I started, I’m not “finished.” This step of the process is important because you must come to terms with the fact that this could, and most likely will be, a life long task. You may not ever “finish.” The goal here isn’t to complete it and mark it off the list. Instead, the goal is to continually grow and make your world a better representation of your dreams. It’s a daily task of a life-long process.
  4. Start somewhere. Now that you understand that you might not “finish,” just start somewhere. For me, it could have been completely overwhelming to realize that I couldn’t transform everything right away. Just considering the sheer magnitude of change needed to get from my current situation to my ideal one, was incredibly daunting. As a matter of fact, it was enough to make me give up. However, I knew how important it was to me to cultivate my ideal world. I knew that I wanted my daily life to look amazing…not to just dream of it. I wanted to feel comfortable and cozy in my home, and I knew that I had a lot of work to do to get there. Step number four is possibly the most important of them all. You must simply do something. It’s easy to think and dream and plan and then do nothing. Starting is often the hardest part. The key to making your dream life a reality is to realize that you can’t do it all today and then to start somewhere.

My journey began with two of the simplest tasks. First, I emptied my cabinet of those promotional coffee mugs that meant nothing to me, and replaced them with a couple of pretty ones that I loved. Second, I bought lovely smelling hand soap and tossed the old, nasty ones out. These two tasks were the simplest possible and what I could control in that very moment. Both of these happened when we were still in our rent house where I hated the wall color and lack of light. I couldn’t control those two things right then though, so I found a few things that I could control. For less than $10 and in less than 10 minutes, I evoked a change that’s been continual and ongoing. And because I started somewhere, my life today looks much, much better than it did on that day when I first began dreaming of options. You simply cannot change everything today and there’s likely a few of the elements that are simply not an option to alter today. However, something can be done right now. What is that thing? Go do it.

When I think back on the time when this concept was born, I remember my thoughts feeling much more cluttered then. I remember things feeling darker and more overwhelming. I can easily attribute some of those negative emotions to my surroundings. My home wasn’t a relaxing environment for me and I didn’t feel comfortable there. When I finally made the decision to start changing things, I felt a difference almost immediately. I felt like I had control again and I knew that by repeatedly making little changes, I would eventually notice a big chance. So today, I share pretty pictures of cozy blankets on Instagram (see above) and it almost looks like those staged photos all of the bloggers and instagrammers share. For me though, it’s about so much more than that. For me, those photos are about creating a life that looks like magazine worthy photos. Don’t get me wrong – I get behind on laundry and dishes just like everyone else. However, with each Instagram snap, I’m internally celebrating how far I’ve come. I’m celebrating that I’ve replaced that tattered old fleece throw with a beautiful fur one that makes me happy. I’m celebrating that I’ve created a cozy space to enjoy my coffee rather that sitting in a cluttered room or gulping it down on the go. For me, it’s not about creating an image online. Instead, it’s about celebrating the years of work that I’ve already done in building my own beautiful life and encouraging myself to keep going. Eventually, I hope to have thinned closets and drawers that are easy to open and close. I hope to have a place for everything so that nothing ever needs to gather on tables or countertops. Eventually, all of my days will be structured so that I always have down time to rest, relax, and recuperate. I’ll only drink from pretty coffee cups and all the the cabinets will be filled with pretty, inspiring things. I’m not there yet, and I’m working every day…a little bit at a time….to eventually get as close as possible to living that dream. And it all started with a coffee mug and some hand soap. Today, you can choose to start somewhere. Or you can choose to not begin at all. As with everything else, your life is a result of your decisions. What’s your choice today?

Turning 30

Turning 30. Read more at pamelapetrus.comI’ve been excitedly looking forward to my 30th birthday for months and months. Back in the fall, I shared a bit of a synopsis of all of the many things I experienced in my twenties. These past few weeks have been full of posts about goals and intentions for the year, so sharing a list of intentions for my thirties seems a little excessive. However, I’ve been so excited about this birthday, that I just had to think it through.

When I attempted to nail down where this excitement comes from, I couldn’t come up with a ton of reasons. In a nutshell, I feel like turning 30 gives me some legitimacy. I’ve always been “wise beyond my years” and always felt a good 5-10 years older than I actually was. As a teenager, I was always referred to as “mature.” (We can talk about reasons for that another day.) In my twenties, I sometimes felt like people didn’t take me seriously enough. As I approached my late twenties, I felt too old to relate to the younger folks and too young to relate to those older than me. Thirty felt like a perfect middle ground.

As I thought about what I expected my thirties to bring, I became so very excited. Without firm reasoning, it feels like this will be my decade. Thirty will be my year. With just two days left before I officially turn the big 3-0, I thought I’d share a bit about what I’m expecting of the next several years.

  1. I think this is when I’ll come into my own. I’ve grown so much in the last 10 years that It’s hard to explain the ways. I’ve learned so much about myself and I see the opportunity to take that knowledge and learn even more because of it. I feel like my thirties are when I’ll develop most into who I’m meant to me. I also expect to finally have the courage to just be that person.
  2. I think I’ll develop a routine in business. In addition to learning a lot about myself, I’ve learned a lot about business. I see 1,000 opportunities on the horizon and I feel like I’ll get to realize a lot of those in the next few years. I look forward to taking risks in business and developing a long term routine for my work environment…one that supports my goals and ambitions.
  3. I think I’ll move. Whether Matthew and I stay here or move to a faraway land, I expect that we’ll make a move in the next several years. In my dreams, I have a pretty clear vision of what the next house will look/feel like, and I can’t wait! One of my most prevalent life goals in to create a home that we’re always thrilled to come home to, serves as a welcoming ground for all of our friends and family, and gives us the space to relax and try new, creative things.
  4. I think I’ll develop my creative side. I’ve been dodging my creativity for a lack of time for years now. I hope that my thirties are spent testing my creative boundaries and trying many, many new things.
  5. I think I’ll spend a lot of time nurturing relationships. I hope to spend a lot of time with the people I love over the next several years. Experiences and quality relationships mean so much to me.
  6. I think I’ll see the world. Matthew and I have really upped our travel game this past year and have even more plans for 2016. I expect that the next decade will bring with it experiences from around the world, and I simply can’t wait for that.
  7. I think I’ll go after several someday goals. I’m in the process of actually writing down what these someday goals are. I have all of these things tucked away in my mind that I hope to do…someday. I expect that I’ll go after several of those in my thirties.

If I had to sum it all up, I’d say that my main intention for my thirties is to truly become who I want to be and to mold my life into the peaceful landscape that I can imagine. I can so clearly see what I want my daily life to look like, and I hope to spend the next decade making that dream a reality. I’m sure there will be hundreds of additional hopes and dreams that weave their way into reality over the next ten years. Some of them I might not even be able to imagine yet. Regardless, I know that when I sit down to write something similar about turning forty, I’ll have so much to consider! I hope that the words flow out abundantly over what I’ve seen, done, and realized. I intend to spend the next ten years being sure that I can write that piece with excitement.

On the surface, it seems like my 30th birthday will be just another day. After all, how much of a difference can one hour on a clock make? I don’t expect to turn into a magical creature when the clock strikes midnight (or maybe I will…we’ll see!). Instead, I just use this birthday as a jumping off point for a new chapter…much like we do for the new year. It’s as if you finish one paragraph strongly (my twenties) and it lends itself to new adventures to explore as you turn the page to something equally as fascinating (my thirties). It’s not about the actual date or the time. It’s about the mindset. And today, as I sit here preparing for the day to come, I feel excited and encouraged that this will be my year.

One Little Word – 2016

Courageous at pamelapetrus.comThe concept of setting a guiding word for the year isn’t new. Several inspirational and successful people that I follow use this technique every year. I thought long and hard about it last year and really wanted to commit. It just seemed nearly impossible for me. I really work best on more of a short term schedule. I talked a bit about struggling with the idea and attempted to set monthly words instead of yearly in 2014.

As 2016 rolled in, I thought about it again. I saw everyone else choosing words and having custom jewelry made and I wanted to do that too. Honestly, I just couldn’t quite understand why a goal-setting fanatic like myself couldn’t pick a silly word. Again, I do better with just a few options…not the entire English language. Then it dawned on me, I have sort of chosen a word without realizing it. If you read my ramble about looking ahead to 2016, you may have picked up on one line that really stood out to me.

I’m going to be courageous.

I touched on the topic of courage earlier in 2015, and as 2016 approached, I began preparing myself to exhibit the most courage yet. I knew that the new year was going to bring with it a lot of big changes, big decisions, and hopefully, big rewards. I knew that to be successful in any of the endeavors I was approaching, I’d have to have courage. In addition to needing the courage to make big, bold moves in business, I also began really wanting to be more courageous within my personal life. On New Years Day, I starting thinking about the desire I’ve had recently to be unapologetic about showing my true self. I started to regret not having factored that into my goals for the year. (Leave it to me to have some regret over yearly goals on the first day of the year!) Then it hit me….I just needed to focus on having courage. I already have the doodle from this post as my screensaver on my phone. I’ve already been wanting to be more courageous. I need to really focus on that this year.

Here are a few of the ways in which I’ll be practicing having courage in 2016:

  1. I’m going to be doing big things with my business. At the start of 2016, I will have two full time, health-insured individuals on my team…plus myself. I am committing to bringing in enough money to support myself and two additional people. That’s so frightening. I’ve weighed the pros and the cons, the risks and the rewards, until there can’t be anything else to consider. The next step is having the courage to jump.
  2. I want to be more vulnerable. One of my most well-developed skills is the ability to protect myself. I’m almost like a ninja of my own defenses. I can throw a guard up like a professional and I do so often. This usually means that I give off a different perception of myself than what’s really real. I’ve used this tactic as a defense mechanism for many, many years and I feel that it’s going to be a tough habit to break. Rather than putting up such a tough and unwavering front, I’d like to show my sensitive and vulnerable side a bit more. I’ve realized that this protection mechanism is there. The next step is having the courage to let my guard down.
  3. I want to worry less about what other people think. I do and say things often keep other people happy or to not offend anyone. I heavily monitor my public image. I act and behave a certain way in mixed company and it’s usually only my closest friends that get to see me in my true form. I am very careful of what’s posted on social media. You won’t see rants about politics (and probably still won’t) or a photo of me having a glass of wine. I’ve always monitored these things very closely for the fear of what other people would say or think. At 30, I’m really ready to move past that. I will undoubtedly always care what people think. However, I want to feel more comfortable with who I’ve decided to be and more importantly, with the fact that some people may just not like it or agree. I’ve decided that I want this freedom. The next step is having the courage to actually let loose.

In thinking through these things, it seems as if I have unintentionally set a “one little word” for the year – courageous. Without realizing it, I identified an area or concept that I really felt I needed to work on. I can’t promise that I’ll stick with it, or even that courage will prevail when the opportunity arises. However, I am willing to admit that I need to work on it. And for now, I’m committing to focusing on this powerful word for the year. Hopefully, by the time we wrap up 2016, I’ll have realized the magnitude of my own courage, much like the lion in the Wizard of Oz. I suppose I’m starting down my own yellow brick road this year. The journey will likely be as important as the arrival, and I hope to become a better, more courageous lion by year end.

2016 Goals

2016 goals. Read more at pamelapetrus.comIt’s goal-setting time!! I almost treat setting my yearly goals as its own holiday. I look forward to it. Prepare for it. And set aside special time for it. I can remember my first time setting real yearly goals and I distinctly remember feeling a bit of an aversion to it. Now that I’ve set multiple yearly goals and thousands of monthly ones, I feel like a pro. As a matter of fact, I even learned a valuable lesson last year. I set my 2015 goals without realizing how ambitious I was. I’m known for thinking I can do more than humanly possible in a day, so I definitely have to monitor my ambition when I plan for the year. After struggling to track and accomplish all of my many goals, I adjusted down to just one goal in April. I realized that I needed to pare down if I were going to really accomplish anything, and I felt relieved afterwards.

This year, I am setting more than one personal goal for the year. However, most of these are smaller, more easily attainable goals. They are things that I’m choosing to focus on throughout the year and that I’ll continue to work on as the time passes. I did my best to be more realistic and more conscientious of how quickly time passes. I didn’t set these big, lofty goals that could easily take a major lifestyle change to accomplish. Instead, I chose a few various areas to focus on. It’s almost like this list is more like intentions than goals. Yes, these are measurable and achievable. Ideally, I’ll be able to “mark them off” at the end of the year. However, my mindset is more about choosing to focus on these areas of my life rather than others this year. That enough talking about goal setting? Let’s dive in:

1. Reserve more personal time. I just talked about the goals being measurable and as it’s written, this one is a bit too vague. I still need to determine a metric in which I’ll be able to track this, so if you have ideas, please share! As I mentioned intentions, my intention this year is to place a lot of emphasis on my time. When things get busy or responsibilities grow, my time is the first to go. I need to train myself not to forfeit that time.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: resting before I crash and burn, spending more time at home…even if that means working from home more, more days off (For me, it’s not a day off if I have to wash my hair or put on makeup.), regular massages, and reserving time for creative activities. Sounds easy. I already know that I’ll struggle here.

2. 12,000-15,000 steps a day at least 4 times a week. I recently got a Fitbit and I have high hopes for it helping me change my activity level. My original goal was to hit 10k steps a day and then I realized that I was already doing that most days. If I wanted to notice a difference physically, I’d have to do more than I was already doing. So, my intention is to hit between the 12-15k mark, at least 4 days a week.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: exercise of some sort, continuing to play tennis, and walks around the neighborhood.

3. Easily accessible closets/cabinets/drawers. I’m getting serious about clutter. I’ve made so much progress in the past couple of years, and I’d like to keep going. I’ve transformed the way I purchase and keep things, and I’ve gotten rid of so much extra. However, there are still closets and cabinets that aren’t as easily accessible as I’d like. I want everything to be super easy to retrieve and put away. These last few areas are what’s left to achieve that feeling.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: continuing to purge and organize. There are 5 closets that need a good bit of attention, 1 closet that needs to be finished, 3 dressers that need thinning, and the kitchen cabinets could use some love. These will be my priority over the next year.

4. Read 8 books. I’ve done much better at reading lately and several books are going to be a part of my growth plan for the year. I think focusing on goal #1 might help me with this goal too. I often forfeit time to read in order to accomplish other tasks, even though I’m starkly aware of its importance.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: making somewhat of a lifestyle change and slowing down. I’m going to attempt reading a bit with my morning coffee instead of surfing Instagram. Books already on my list include: finishing Rising Strong, Big Magic, Think and Grow Rich, and The Miracle Morning.

5. Learn a new skill. This really could fall into goal #1 as well. There are many things that I want to try or learn, and I often give up that time so easily. This year, I intend to try at least one new thing.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: by focusing on goal #1. I already have plans to learn to crochet and snow ski. I also purchased a sewing class last summer that I haven’t been through yet. I want to do all of the above!

6. Host people at our home at least once a month. I read this article about how much time we have left with our loved ones, and it shocked me into reality. I often let the days pass without realizing how much time we use up without spending time with friends/family. This year, I want to invite people over often. The second reason for this intention is to help keep my house tidy! I notice that things stay much cleaner around here when I’m expecting visitors. It’s a win-win.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: planning ahead with friends, practicing new recipes to share, and working to make our backyard a more pleasing and functional space.

7. Introduce one new someday goal. I have a rather lengthy list of things I’d like to accomplish someday. If I were being honest, I’d like to do them all right this second. I actually loathe the idea of waiting until some undetermined time. Nonetheless, reality says that I can’t do all of these things right now. This year, I intend to launch/make progress/develop one someday goal.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: making a list of these someday goals and watching for opportunities. This year I might develop an ecourse, start writing business posts, introduce public speaking to my repertoire, or any of my other big ideas.

8. Keep my plants alive. You probably snickered at that one. It seems a bit silly, although it might be the hardest task on the list for me. I do not have a green thumb. If I needed to reason with the plants to make them stay live, I’d be set. Instead, you have to water them and provide them the exact amount of sunlight needed. It’s so tedious! And my plants are moody. (That’s my way of putting the blame back on them…not myself.) If you’re one of those folks that just keep everything alive by your natural abilities, I envy you. For me, I’m going to have to work at it.

The specific ways in which I’m going to work on this are: repotting and fertilizing a few and spending some time actually learning how to care for them. Hard work, you guys.

That, folks, is what I intend to work on this year. At first glance, some of the goals seem a little simple. However, they’re all going to require dedication and effort on my part. None of these come naturally for me and I’ll have to focus and sometimes make tough decisions in order to make them happen. Even though they’ll all require attentiveness from me, I also worked really hard to be sure to limit myself. I wanted to be sure to not overdo it again this year, and to choose the most important goals on my mental list. If all the stars align, I’ll accomplish these and more! However, if I end 2016 having focused heavily on these 8 areas, I’ll be amply satisfied.

If you’re setting goals this year, I wish you the best of luck with them. I’m here to encourage you and support you. If you haven’t set goals before, I encourage you to give it a shot! It’s best to write them down and put them out there for accountability sake. If you are a big goal setter or if it’s your first time and you find it to no longer be working, it’s okay to abandon goals or tweak them along the way. The important part is to do SOMETHING that propels you towards something. Big or small…doesn’t matter.

What are you hoping to work on this year?

P.S. I rambled a bit about my vision for 2016 yesterday, if you’re interested.

The happiest (and busiest) time of the year.

Resting at Christmas at pamelapetrus.comI sat on my couch on Saturday afternoon, literally too exhausted to get up and do any of the things that I’d previously intended to do that day. I suppose it was a bit ambitious to consider that I’d do anything productive after the whirlwind of a week we’d experienced. Matthew and I both worked long, hard days each day last week and then had some sort of event to attend in the evening hours, each putting us getting home well after our usual bed time. Literally, we had an event every single night last week. Each day as we talked about being simply exhausted, we’d continue on to the next event with a smile. Each day, as we rushed off to the next engagement, we discussed how we wanted to attend each and every event, yet we were so tired from the hustle and bustle of the week. This week, I’m hoping for a bit more time to rest and be at home.

As I sat there almost motionless on Saturday, I thought about just how much I need down time…how much I’ve come to love my simple routine. Once upon a time I was superwoman…a mover and a shaker that did absolutely everything for everyone, taking very little time for myself. I’d go and go until I eventually crashed and burned. I’d recuperate and then do it all again until I came crashing back down again. I even used this approach with my real estate business. In the first year, I often worked from 7:00 am until 9:00 or 10:00 at night with very little help. Then I crashed. Actually, I crashed so hard that I almost locked up the doors and quit selling real estate altogether. True story.

Instead, I finally realized that I had to change my approach. I needed quite time. I needed days with no makeup. I needed time to sit and regroup quietly in the comfort of my own home. I needed days where I didn’t change from my pajamas until well past the normal hours. Actually, when I began drinking coffee, is when I first started giving myself little breaks and taking things more slowly. Now, after almost a year of carving out time to rest and relax, I feel like a new person. I also feel completely out of whack if I don’t get that time. I am emotional and short-fused. Sometimes I feel physically ill and my headaches come more often. I’m not a master of resting just yet, and my body is the first to show signs when I’ve skipped down time more than I should.

On Saturday, as I finally had a day to rest, I pulled up my blog reader to find 111 unread blog posts on Bloglovin’. I don’t follow tons of blogs, so 111 unread posts is nonsensical. My usual routine is to catch up on the week’s posts on Saturday or Sunday morning. Most of the time, I wake up before Matthew and sip my coffee while catching up on my favorite writers from the week before. Clearly, I haven’t been able to do that for quite some time. Actually, I as scrolled back, I realized that that last posts I’d seen were from Thanksgiving. This means, my usual routine has been upset for several weeks, which helps explain why I feel so off kilter.

In the past as I’ve struggled to carve out time for resting, I’ve posting things like this and this in the past. Both of these were written after somewhat of a “crash.” It’s been a daily struggle for some time to actually relax. When things get tough and I feel burdened with responsibility, my personal time is the first to go. I quickly forfeit my time to rejuvenate as soon as I feel obligated to complete some other task.

As the busyness of the holiday season comes in full force, I know that it’s even more important than usual to be sure I’m resting. I need to be sure I save some time for myself to do nothing. To sit. To read or relax. Why does it feel so hard to do?? How can I be sure that I don’t continually hit the burn out stage before resting? I don’t have that answer just yet. However, I know that I must continue to be diligent in saving some time for myself. I must fight for rest, even if the person I’m fighting is myself and my own insecurities. As we embark on another busy holiday season, I hope that you, too, make time to rest. I hope you sit quietly and sip slowly. We all deserve that right, after all.

Playdoh.

Playdoh. at pamelapetrus.comOne evening I was sitting and scrolling through my blog reader as I often do when I have a few spare moments. As usual, I read through several posts, each speaking to and encouraging me in some way. Usually though, muddled among the truly inspirational, thought-provoking pieces, is a post about *insert random DIY project or facial cleanser that I’ll never make or use*. Today, however, post after post was directly related to my current state of mind. Each post that I read echoed the feeling I’d had lately. As I finished each one, I nodded in approval and felt like the writer was writing just for me. They understood. They could relate.

Let’s talk about where these posts led me. I sat there reading these posts about big dreams and life changing moments, and I couldn’t help but be overcome by the sense of uncertainty that I’ve felt. Matthew and I have talked time and time again about how this feeling must be coming from this definitive time in our lives. We’re at a weird age where things change and settle down all at the same time. It’s exciting and fun yet also strictly weird. However, I can’t help but wonder if it’s more than that. One of the posts talks about a lump of playdoh that’s being molded in your mind and that fantastic moment that comes when you get it just right. I wonder, what am I making my playdoh into?

You see, I have big, new exciting plans on the horizon. Sometimes I think that one of these are my “next big thing” and then sometimes I wonder if it’s entirely something else. Sometimes I wonder if it’ll ever feel quite right and then sometimes I think I have it all figured out. Honestly, I’m not sure what the state of my playdoh is, though I do know that we all need to spend time molding our masterpieces.

I’m very, very close to “revealing” what’s next for me. Soon, I’ll announce something new and you’ll get a glimpse into the projects molding in my mind. Are these ideas the “final projects” that I make with my dough? I’m not yet sure. Do I need to allow myself more time to think and dream in peace in order to mold them into a more suitable reality? Absolutely. For now, I’ll continue to think. I’ll continue to dream and consider multiple possibilities. I’ll mold the playdoh in my mind until finally I’ve created that beautiful work of art that feels “just right.”

Thinking a bit about something? Dreaming about something? Reserve some time to think in quiet. Reserve some time to consider all the possibilities. This is when our wildest dreams become a reality and we uncover beautiful projects that we love.

P.S. Another one of the inspirational posts I read. 

Almost 30

Almost Thirty at pamelapetrus.comMy thirtieth birthday is right around the corner. In just over a month, I’ll say goodbye to an entire decade of my life, a formidable decade where so many life-changing things happened, and I learned more about myself than I could have imagined. Lately, I’ve found it difficult to put my thoughts into words, both here on the blog and in face to face conversation. For some reason, my mind feels a little muddy and my thoughts just aren’t clear. In addition to feeling a bit foggy, I’ve also struggled quite a bit with “what’s next.” I’ve actually written several posts about this topic alone, yet I haven’t shared any of them, because they hardly make sense to me and they’re the fruits of my own mind.

Today I woke up wondering if my confusion and lack of peace stems from my nearing birthday. Let me be clear, I’m not dreading my thirtieth birthday and I don’t think I’m saying goodbye to my youth. In fact, I’ve been excited about turning thirty for quite some time. There is something unmistakably thrilling about embarking on a new decade, and for some reason, I genuinely feel like my thirties will be my time. I’ve done so much already through my twenties. I simply can’t imagine how exciting the next ten years might be.

Excited or not, I’ve felt so confused and up in the air. I’ve had 1,000 ideas and sketched out 1,000 plans, yet nothing feels concrete. I feel like I’m on the verge of something fantastic, yet I can’t even tell you what that is. I have big dreams and the fact that I have so many big dreams, makes it difficult to know where to begin. Suddenly, it dawned on me that maybe all of this nervousness stems from my anticipation of this new chapter.

While I’m not nervous about growing older, I do have a bit of anxiety about not getting around to doing all of the many things I want to do in life. I sometimes fear that I’ll look up and life has buzzed by without me getting to try every new thing and see the world. I suppose the coming of my thirtieth birthday could be encouraging some of this fear…a fear of not getting to do it all. In an attempt to ease my mind, I started making a list of what all I accomplished in my twenties. Maybe seeing the magnitude of what I’ve already done would ease my mind by showing me that there’s room to do so much more.

Join me, if you will, as we take a little blast through my past.

  • I graduated college. Thinking back on that moment, I would have never guessed my twenties would play out like they have. It just goes to show that things can so easily (and sometimes effortlessly) head in a different direction.
  • I got my first full time job. With benefits. Big girl status. Looking back, I learned so much here without even realizing it.
  • I opened my first business at 23. Wow. Sometimes I even amaze myself. I had no fear about quitting my “real job” to run a boutique full time. I hope that I never lose this bravery and faith in myself.
  • I got married. Opening that business is what eventually led me to my husband. I’d have never imagined that and I’m glad that it did.
  • I sold that first business and got my real estate license. When first deciding to do this, I would have never imagined how life changing it would be. I can say with certainty that I’ll look back on this as one of the most formidable decisions of my life…yet I would have never known it at the time.
  • I met a huge financial goal. A goal that I’d hoped I might reach someday became a reality in my twenties and it made me immensely proud of my hard work.
  • I bought my first house. This has been such an adventure in itself and has taught me more about myself that I would have imagined…still learning so much.
  • I bought a Mercedes! The amount in which I love that car  (and am thankful that I allowed myself to get it) is tough to explain. I simply love it.

In making this list, several things jump out at me. First, the second half of the decade looked much differently than the first. I wouldn’t have been able to imagine the end from the beginning, yet everything played out perfectly. Plus, this is just the highlight reel. There were so many high and lows, so much that I learned about myself and the world around me. Just thinking back on the hundreds of experiences that I didn’t mention makes me realize just how much transpired in ten short years.

Secondly, I did so. much. My recent fears of running out of time really are ungrounded. It’s hard to convince myself of that, yet it’s true. In just the last ten years, my life has transformed multiple times. I’ve tried many new things, and seen and learned so much. Why do I think my thirties will be any different?? Even though I can’t see the end result just yet, I should have faith that everything will play out just as well as the last ten years. I’m working on that.

Let’s veer off topic for a bit. I’ve often talked about how much I love this space to write and how thankful I am for it. This post in itself is a wonderful example of that. I’ve felt so much anxiety over the last couple of months, and I haven’t really been able to identify the cause. I’ve felt unsettled and worried. However, writing this post has given me a new perspective. If I didn’t have this blog, I wouldn’t have even began writing these thoughts down, and I wouldn’t have been able to let writing help me flush out my thoughts. As I began writing this piece, I actually had a different goal in mind for it, as I often do. Shortly after making it through a few paragraphs, I realized that things were headed in a different direction. Just getting the first little bit out and into tangible words, evoked more clear feelings. Being able to write (albeit for an audience) put me in touch with what was actually going on in my mind and allowed me to think through and develop my thoughts. If I didn’t have this online portal, I would have likely kept feeling anxious and uncertain. This simple post may indeed be life-changing for me, as it is certainly providing a new perspective that will hopefully guide me through the next several months.

I think the moral of this story and the point of my ramblings are that time passes how it intends to pass, without any bearing on our feelings of it. I’ll simply turn thirty in a few weeks and then shortly after that I’ll turn forty. There is nothing any of us can do to stop or hinder the passing of time. There is something we can do about how that time is used, though.

I’ve spent the last several months worried about running out of time. I don’t know which big idea to start with so that all of the other big ideas fall in to place. However, I’ve been missing the point. Time is going to pass anyway, whether I have everything figured out or I don’t. I will turn thirty and then forty, whether I chase one dream or twenty…or none. I’ve been allowing my lack of a clearly defined “plan” to hinder me from doing anything. What a travesty. Looking back over my twenties, it’s completely evident that things work out even without a plan…even if things go differently than you anticipate. Therefore, why do I feel so uncertain? I’m wasting time trying to “plan” when I should just be doing something. Anything! Doing one tiny little thing and making one tiny little bit of progress is far greater than making no progress at all because you’re paralyzed with uncertainty.

So back to the moral. The moral here is to do something. Stop being afraid of the unknown and know that things will inevitably play out just how they should. We simply can’t know with certainty what tomorrow or 1,000 tomorrows will look like. However, we absolutely can choose what today looks like. Therefore, make today and tomorrow look as fabulously as you can. Do something exciting. Make some progress towards a goal…regardless of which one it is. And for heaven’s sake, stop worrying about tomorrow. I do that enough for the both of us.