I’m home from my first writing conference and I’ve had several people say that they can’t wait to see what came of it. Me too, guys. Me too. 

At first I felt a little disappointed that I didn’t come home with some big announcement or revelation. (A little about that here.) I’d secretly hoped that I’d develop a vision of what’s next at this conference, even if it was just a tiny glimpse into the future. I didn’t think I’d announce the title of my first book, though I did intend to have at least an idea of what the next project might be. If I’m honest with you all, I still don’t know what’s next. 

Here’s what I do know though: 
I know that I’m serious about sharing a message with the world, even if I can’t clearly see the structure of that message yet. 

I know that there’s a message inside of me that I won’t be able to store safely inside forever. 

I know that part of my life’s purpose and part of my calling involves words being shared with you all, whether it be on a page or a screen or via spoken word. Those words are my purpose. 

I also know that I’m not going to be writing a book right now. 

I went to this conference thinking I might be able to uncover what my book is supposed to be about. Over the last several years, I’ve written so many sample chapters. I’ve written bits and pieces of so many things and I have been working to uncover what it is that ties it all together. What is it that makes these bits and pieces about life and trauma and mindset all come together into something useful for a reader? Though ambitious, I hoped I might uncover that answer at this conference. 

Instead, I learned that this just isn’t the right time for that. As much as I’d love to have come home and announced what’s next, I’m instead announcing that there will probably just be more of the same. What’s different is that I intend for there to be more. Now that I’m back home and I won’t be launching into book writing just yet, my intention is to publish more here on this blog and to finally set up a few practical things that I’ve been putting off. 

Here’s a few intentions that I set for myself as it pertains to this corner of my world: 

1. Publish more frequently. I intend to publish more frequently here. I intend to hit “share” on things I’ve been keeping to myself and to make sure that I’m sharing things that I feel compelled to share, even when I don’t feel “ready.” I intend to stop waiting on perfection and to embrace uncertainty.
2. More linking. I intend to set up a link service on my instagram. I’m not fancy enough to have swipe up links yet, so I need a place to link to my own stuff and other things I want to share with you guys in an easy-to-use way. Looking at you Linktree… As silly as it sounds, I’d been put this off until I felt more legitimate. 
3. Grow my newsletter. I intend to finally create an opt-in offer for my newsletter. You know, the freebies that prompt you to sign up for important newsletters. “Sign up here to get <insert compelling offer>!” I’ve had wayyyy more of you than I expected to sign up for my newsletter just because I asked you to and that’s been so encouraging! Seriously, those of you already on my list are like my favorite people on the planet right now. You signing up without me even offering something in exchange is like the greatest gift ever. If you haven’t signed up yet and would like to, here’s the link. So far, I’ve sent 17 newsletters, mostly on time and I feel like a total badass for it. 
4. Batch creative work. If you’ve not heard of batching, it’s the idea that you sit down and do/plan lots of creative work at once. In theory, this saves time and helps prevent lulls in content during those times when you’re feeling less creative. I fully expect this to take so much pressure off of me! 
5. Launch a podcast. Maybe? I write that out with so much uncertainty. I don’t know if I’m actually ready for this step and yet it’s been on my mind for years. Several of the writers I encountered this past week, even in similar stages as me, have podcasts.This might be one of those things that I just need to do already. What should I talk about? Would you listen??

In short, I’m not writing a book right now and instead, I’m going to work on other ways of writing/sharing until it feels like the right time for a book. One of the Hope*Writer manifestos is, “We are still writers even if we never write a book.” I’m going to lean heavily into this one for now. 

If I’m being honest, I’d have to say that I have always felt like I couldn’t invest time or money into this site or my instagram until I had also written a book, until I was being paid to write in some way, or until I had thousands of followers. It was imposter syndrome at its finest. I felt I hadn’t earned the right until I had some major accomplishment also on the board. 

Going to this conference showed me that I was really pushing towards the book to be able to add that to my list of achievements, so that I could feel legitimate. Simply writing here didn’t feel important enough. My biggest takeaway from those few days in North Carolina as it pertains to my writing, is that this space is 100% enough right now. Whether one person reads or one million, it’s enough. My job isn’t to watch the numbers or to reach for markers of success that others would set for me. My job is to write and to share. For now, that’s good enough.