There are so many theories on what a master bedroom should be like. I like to think that I have my own set of theories and that they’re likely a combination of the massive amount of rules out there. There’s also a chance that they’re complete, polar opposites and totally contradict the “rules.” Doesn’t matter.

Here’s what I think a master bedroom should be like. It should be calming and relaxing. It should be a safe haven to hide away in. It should either be filled with light or dark and moody…whichever you prefer most. It should be free of clutter and distraction, and it should be a private, comfortable, functional space where you can easily wind down.

Our last bedroom was none of these things. I never “finished” that room (or really even got a good start) . I was immensely stifled by the horrible beige walls, and I had no motivation or inspiration for the space. We had so much extra crap in there and nothing really made any sense. I HATE thinking about that room. I loved it’s beautiful corner windows. That’s it though…nothing else.

When we moved to this house, I knew I’d pick a dark color for the master. I wanted the room to feel dark and moody…the total opposite from the rest of the house. If you browse my inspiration board on Pinterest, you’ll get an idea of the look I was going for. I finally chose a deep, gray paint color (Sherwin Williams Peppercorn), and I think this is the color that my dreams are made of. I think it’s 100% perfect for a master bedroom (It’s also in our dining room.), and I absolutely love it.

I made a commitment when we bought this house that I’d finish our bedroom first. Practically everything you read says that in a time of transition, you should stabilize your bedroom first. It gives you a haven from the madness and ensures that you still sleep well. Besides, we had lived with a chaotic bedroom for so long that I desperately wanted a nice space.

As we began getting squared away, it felt like the master bedroom wasn’t coming together liked I’d hoped. Other rooms were feeling more put together than this one, and I felt like I was slipping into that same messy-bedroom trap. I’ve learned that I absolutely cannot force inspiration, so I just had to be patient and wait for things to come together in my mind. It turns out that our bedroom still ended up being the first room that I felt was complete! I am so, so happy about that.

I’m only moments away from sharing the full room tour, as there are just a few finishing touches that I want to complete first. For now, enjoy these sneak peaks! If you’re feeling like your bedroom is the exact opposite of a safe haven, consider these few items:

1. Remove any unnecessary clutter. Try not to stack thing in corners or on tops of dressers. Clean corners and surfaces, provide a much more relaxing space.
2. Fold laundry somewhere other than the bedroom! Baskets of clean (folded or unfolded) clothes spilling over onto the floor, create the feeling of chaos. The first choice wood be to go ahead and put the clothes away (obviously). If that’s not an option, consider storing the clothes baskets in another room until you can handle them.
3. Use lamps instead of overhead lighting. The light of a lamp or two provides a much more calming environment than harsh, overhead lighting. I almost never use the ceiling light in our bedroom. Lamps are much more relaxing (and romantic!).
4. Decorate with your favorite items. Some “rules” say to keep things minimal in a bedroom. While that’s an option, I don’t think it’s mandatory. Instead, I say surround yourself with things that you love. Use your favorite pieces and highlight the things that make you the happiest.
5. Choose a good paint color. As with any room, the paint color can either make it or break it. Like I said before, the awful beige of our last bedroom sucked the life right out of me. I don’t believe that your room color has to follow the traditional guidelines. Instead, choose whatever color relaxes and inspires you the most. I simply love our dark gray walls, and I couldn’t be happier with the color.
6. Choose good bed linens. Regardless of the style of your room, having comfortable, appealing linens makes a huge difference in how the room looks/feels AND how well you sleep. If you’re going to splurge on anything, choose a good mattress and nice sheets. (Read how much of a difference our new sheets made in last month’s post, and they weren’t even expensive!)

Again, the actual style or color scheme that you choose for the room isn’t as important as how the room makes you feel. The ultimate goal is that you end up with a space that you can retreat to and relax. Our best night’s sleep come from a space in which we feel totally comfortable.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by creating a relaxing space, start small. Remove a few items or tackle one small project at a time. Ending up with a space that you love usually doesn’t happen overnight. However, if you don’t start somewhere, you’ll never reach the finished product. What one, small thing can you do today to work towards a happy space? What one, small thing could you do tomorrow? That’s all you have to focus on….one tiny task at a time.

What will you do today to get started?