I changed my name on facebook and then I watched as so many people clicked and commented in support. I watched as I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders and an extra pep in my step. I was actually sitting on the couch, but you know what I mean.

I felt like I had control of something again. I didn’t feel like I closed the door on a chapter. I felt like I busted through and slammed it shut. Sure, I still have to figure out the business side of things and I’ll do that eventually. This one small step felt GIGANTIC and gave me back some power over my life.

More importantly than just how I felt though, it seemed that my tiny action gave other people permission to take action too. Me doing this thing that felt so scary and hard to me — and doing it publicly — sent a message that other people could do hard things too. 

Facebook warned me that once I hit save, I couldn’t change it again for 60 days. That stopped me in my tracks the first time. I took some time (4 months, to be exact) and came back stronger. SO WHAT, FACEBOOK! I don’t want to change it back. 

I clicked a few buttons and BOOM, something I’d fretted over for YEARS was done. I could have danced around my living room. I could have hopped in my car and driven to the nearest mountain top to scream from. I could have at least driven for celebratory ice cream. I didn’t do any of those things, but I did feel 100 pounds lighter and I absolutely felt like an unstoppable badass. 

If I can change my name on facebook and publicly admit my struggle with it all, I can do pretty much anything. Or at least that’s how I felt at the moment. I can put some words out there that remind everyone of one of my biggest failures — my divorce. I can admit that I kept this name out of fear and uncertainty and then felt like a fraud and a stranger in my own skin for years to follow. I can even admit my embarrassment over how important this change felt when it’s just bloody facebook! 

Well folks, that means I can pretty much do anything. It’s time to start rolling some things out. I should have probably rolled them all out that very night because I truly felt unstoppable. 

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I can so clearly see what these few clicks did for me personally. Here’s what I hope it did for you:

I hope it gives you the courage to step into whatever is new for you. I hope it gives you the courage to stand up and make change where it’s necessary. I hope it helps you accept that you can be whoever and whatever you choose to be. I hope it pushes you to slam doors or thrust them open — whichever is calling you. 

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I spent THREE YEARS of my life sitting with this name I didn’t want because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know if I should just wait until I remarried or if I should retreat to my maiden name. I didn’t know if I should just be a badass and pick a new name for myself. I didn’t know how to change every single thing about my real estate business and I was frozen in that fear. 

That fear cost me three years of feeling shame and disappointment every time someone asked me my name. Three years of cringing every time I saw it online or in writing. Three years of beating myself up for my inaction.

Don’t do that to yourselves, friends. You are who you are and we all need you to show up as just that. I haven’t been Pamela Petrus in a long time and yet I was stuck in her shadow. I can’t say that I know who I am today, and I’d bet you don’t know either. However, I know who I’m not. I’m not Pamela Petrus. For now, I’m just Pamela Jo. 

(Unless you want to buy or sell a house. Then I’ll be Pamela Petrus a bit longer. Which, let’s do that. We’ll just act like we don’t notice that name on the contract. It’s fine.)

There’s more on instagram if you’d like to celebrate with me there. And my post from when I changed it on instagram in October. This was such a process, y’all. No matter what though — it was worth it. And whatever hard thing you’re working on is worth it too.