Dear Maxwell,
In one week you’ll be 6 months old. This feels important and big. That’s a half-birthday. Some people — with more energy than me — even celebrate those. Should we get you a cake? You haven’t eaten grown up food yet, but I know you’re going to love cake. I can’t wait to show it to you.
I was telling your father just yesterday that this little milestone feels like a big one. In my mind, 6 months is a turning point. I have divided this first year of your life into two sections — the first 6 months where you’re still a little baby, and the second, where I don’t feel like you’re as fragile.
You already seem like such a big boy. You hold your head up without my help now, just one of the first things you’ve grown to not need my help with. Tears pour from my eyes, just thinking about the many things that you’ll eventually do on your own.
You scoot all over the floor by yourself now, mostly backwards but I know you’re going to master that forward movement soon. You are already getting up on your hands and knees, rocking back and forth and it’s simply the cutest thing. You also started clicking your tongue this week, and as your mom, it’s the coolest trick I’ve ever seen.
Right now, I’m a bit sleep deprived and your Mammaw is in the hospital about to have surgery for a broken hip. Much of this week is going to be spent taking care of her, but I know my thoughts will be occupied with you and what you’re doing in my absence. Just don’t crawl this week without me, ok? I really want to be there for that.
We’re also about to have your first Christmas at MeMaw and Granddaddy’s. It’s late because they’ve both had Covid and we needed to postpone until everyone was well. I wonder what Covid will mean to you when you’re older. Will it be a thing in history books? Will it still be something we’re battling then? We certainly never expected it to last the 2 years that it has. I had Covid while I was pregnant with you, you know? It was rough and I was so scared of something happening to you. Right now, all seems well and I hope and pray it stays that way.
Speaking of praying, I find myself wanting to pray much more now that you’re here. All I want in the world is for you to always be ok. I feel like I need divine intervention to ensure that happens. This world can be a tough place sometimes.
Before you were born, I expected that I’d write more of these letters to you, like my friend online did. I thought I might do them weekly or at least monthly through these early days. A lot of these first 6 months of your life have been hectic with keeping you alive, recovering from your birth, moving out of our old house, in with MeMaw, and finally into the new. Words have been harder to come by lately.
But today, not far from your half-birthday, they’re spilling out of me. There’s so much I want to tell you! So much I want you to know about how very loved you are. I hear you stirring in the pack and play at the end of our bed. We haven’t been able to put up your new bed to move you to your new room yet. I know that it’s time, but I secretly love keeping you here near me through the night. I love waking in the night, knowing you’re right there, a few feet away. I can hear you stir and know that you’re ok. Sometimes, I know I should be sleeping but I secretly hope you wake up soon, just so I can see your pretty blue eyes and sweet smile again. I sing your special good morning song and my heart nearly bursts as you smile at me so big.
Lately, you wake sometime around 6am and I scoop you up and we cuddle in my bed and sleep for another hour or so. Truthfully, this is my favorite part of the day. I know these days are numbered and I cherish them so. When I think back on this time with you, I know — even now — that these are some of the very best days.
I’ve learned so much in these last 6 months, Little Boy. I’ve learned about you and about me. Even in the hard stuff, these 6 months have been the best of my life. I’ve done a lot, and having you has been my very favorite of them all.
Happy half-birthday, Baby Max. I love you so very much.
With the most love,
Your Mom
6 months: 17 lbs, 12 oz / 27″ long
written: January 8, 2022
turned 6 months: January 14, 2022
