Let me set the stage for you. Here’s the highlights of a dreadful week I experienced earlier this year. It was pre-Corona and at the time, I would never have imagined that craziness that was still to come.

Tuesday: I received disappointing news at work. My assistant/friend of 4.5 years was taking a new job in her new town and wouldn’t be working with me anymore. All the feelings. 

Wednesday: It was the 23rd anniversary of my dad’s death. I could immediately tell it was going to be one of the harder, heavier years. If you’ve lost someone and watched the years fly by, you know that some are just harder than others and you never know which it’ll be. That night, my mom fell and couldn’t get up. I come to her covered in blood and we spend the night in the ER getting scans and stitches. There is something super unfair and uncool about having to see your mom bloody on the floor on the anniversary of your dad’s death. Even weeks after this incident, I still feel like the universe was very unkind this day.

Thursday: I am sleep deprived and legit meltdown in fear of losing my mom/what’s next in this new stage. I cry all day and only barely get myself off the couch.

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This hell week showed up out of nowhere. I was minding my own business and then was suddenly under attack. “When it rains, it pours,” they say and this week felt like a full on hurricane. 

There were a few specific things that saved my life in those trenches and as I took note of them, I pulled out a few “life lessons” that you might can use too. 

Here’s a few things that saved my life when I was so thick in the weeds:

Life Lesson: Set recurring alarms to remind you to roll out the trash. Being an adult is hard. Remembering things like the trash shouldn’t be so difficult. Set an alarm and give yourself a break.

2. Someone complimented my bun at a party. This bun was born by twirling some hair and fastening it with bobby pins. It was my very best attempt at looking presentable enough to leave the house. I legit almost called my hairdresser to see if she could simply put my hair into a ponytail for me. That’s how little energy I had for that getting ready nonsense. Then, someone complimented that bun. The one that I barely found the energy to sloppily create.

Life Lesson: Compliment people. It might make a world of difference to them. A few random sentences from you might be the very thing that pushes them to keep going. It might be the thing that reminds them that they’re doing a good enough job. 

3. Friends checking in. I posted a little of my mess on Instagram and so many people kindly checked on me. People asked about mom and me and it felt so good to be seen. It encouraged me for people to acknowledge how much I was struggling. Taking care of an aging parent is a lonely job. Having people check on ME felt so nice. 

Life Lesson: Reach out to your struggling friends. They don’t want or need you to solve their struggle. They just want to feel less alone. To know that you care enough to check in. 

4. Going to therapy. The moment I realized I couldn’t will myself off the couch, I made an appointment. My former therapist moved out of town so I had to start over with a new one. (This is my second therapist to bail, and I refuse to consider I had anything to do with them ghosting me.) When I finally broke down, I realized I needed and wanted someone to help me work through the mess of this season.

Life Lesson: Go to therapy. We’re not meant to navigate all of this nonsense alone. Just scheduling the appointment gave me some relief. Therapy usually isn’t easy work and yet the result is so worth it. 

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I know that many of you are in a challenging season of life right now and that’s what prompted me to share these Life Lessons today. As I’ve embarked upon SO MANY NEW THINGS in the last several months, I feel the need to be transparent about how hard some of it was. I feel nudged to share the truth of it all. The truth that real life is messy and sometimes it’s super hard to navigate, even for those of us who are super strong. 

Admitting that we’re struggling in a season doesn’t mean we’re weak. More importantly, admitting that we’re struggling is often the thing that helps us finally push through. That’s when others are able to support us. More importantly, our own transparency often helps others to keep pushing through their own mess. 

I’m sharing these 4 small wins and resulting life lessons with the hope that you’re encouraged to look for your own wins as you struggle. If you’re not in a hard season, I hope you’ll use these life lessons to encourage someone who is. If nothing else, I hope you’ll set an alarm for rolling out your trash can. That it itself is a life win.