I’m known for overthinking things and obsessing over making the right decision when there’s a choice to be made. That’s why I snatched up Anne Bogel’s new book Don’t Overthink It as soon as I saw it. If I learn just one thing to help ease my decision-making process, it would be worth it. 

Here’s what I’m learning though. No matter how much we obsess, there is no “right decision” in most cases. Sure, there are a few things that are more black and white than others. Most of the decisions we face, though, aren’t that way. We put ourselves through so much turmoil to choose correctly and there simply isn’t a right or wrong choice.

Intead, what we’re really looking for is the most right choice. Of our options, which one is mostly good? Which one feels like it’s the best of the available choices? In most cases, there are pros and cons to all options and the
observance of these is what causes us so much anxiety. Most times, we won’t have an option that doesn’t have some sort of con involved.

If you choose to leave your current job, you could be giving up stability in exchange for freedom. You could be
sacrificing money for time. Most likely, you’re mentally trading one thing for another when you’re considering all of the possible scenarios. If there were no cons, our decisions would be much easier to make!

In our minds, we often see our options as either the right choice or the wrong one. That’s not exactly accurate though. It’s more helpful to see them all as right. You’re just searching for the best one for your scenario right now. We’re often operating in a fear of regret. We worry that we’ll regret our decision and that fear paralyzes us. I’ve learned a little trick for using regret in a positive way and it’s made a big difference in my ability to make decisions. Here are my tips.

3 Tips for Making Decisions More Easily:

1. Consider, which will I regret more — doing this thing or not doing it? My most recent use of this strategy was when we purchased Magnolia Ridge. I made the pro/con list. It had several items in each column. We saw the potential and opportunity this place offered and it was still tough to decide if we wanted to move quite so far out of town. In true Pamela fashion, I obsessed for days. I didn’t sleep. Finally, I decided that I’d rather regret doing it than regret NOT
doing it. I’d rather take the risk now and have to undo it later if I hated it there, than I would always look back and wish we’d have taken the shot. Once I zoomed out, my decision was much easier to make.

2. Ask — what would your 80 year self want you to do today? I’ve made a lot of my major life decisions by fast forwarding in my mind to an older version of my self. What would 80 year old Pamela say to do? What will she be glad I did or didn’t do? Seeing this decision from several years down the road often gives some clarity on where your heart stands. Knowing that your future self will be happy you took action today, often makes the stress of deciding
something more bearable.

3. See them all as right answers. None of your choices are “wrong.” Most likely, none of them will ruin your life.
Instead, they’re all right answers. You’re not wrong for choosing any over the other. You’re simply choosing what feels most right with the information you have.

I’m no stranger to making big decisions. I had to decide about my divorce, where to live next, whether or not to move from #wfwhitehouse, what to do with {my little white house}, whether I should get remarried, whether or not we should buy and move to Magnolia Ridge — the list goes on and on, especially in these last few years of transition.
I have lots of practice with making tough decisions, and that doesn’t make it any easier. The tips I’m sharing today are the ones I always fall back on when I’m struggling with what to do next. I’ve used them time and time again and they’ve been what kept me moving forward when I was plagued with indecision.

Whether you’re in the middle of making big decisions now or you have some coming up, I hope these three little tips will make the process more manageable. As always, I’m cheering for you!